sally4sara Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 Cheated on him and he wants to do the same thing. It's going to take place week and I have to be there watching it all. Huh? Did he walk in on you and have to see you and the OM? Some people just don't know how to leave a dead horse alone. And by dead horse, I mean your marriage.
TaraMaiden Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 Well, it should all actually have taken place, and be done and dusted by now... Everything that might have been planned, either went ahead - or didn't. Maybe the OP will come back and tell us all about it. Or maybe not. Anyone here a "gambling man"...? Ok, place your bets, ladies 'n' gents.......
WithOrWithoutYou Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 (edited) Look at it this way: 1. You obviously didn't think enough of him to not cheat on him. 2. He obviously does not think enough of you, or love you enough to truly forgive you for it. 3. He now wants to emotionally torture you by making you watch him do to you what you basically did to him. 4. Two wrongs do not make a right. 5. There are no kids or other persons involved. 6. You should both get counseling if you want to save the marriage, and should not engage in sick little revenge-based games. That is not what people who love one another do to each other. 7. If one or both of you does not want to get counseling to save the marriage, then both of you should just amicably agree to divide your stuff, and get a divorce. You can both get expensive divorce lawyers, and spend half of your live savings litigating it, or you can go a more amicable route, and hopefully both avoid some financial destruction. Your choice. Under no circumstances (regardless of what you have done), should you submit to this arrangement and expect to move forward in a loving relationship with this person. It really sounds like a divorce will be cleaner, easier, and less self-destructive for both of you, if he is not interested in the counseling. Playing sick little revenge games is never the answer or a path to continuing a healthy relationship. If both of you have this little regard for one another as people (mistakes notwithstanding), then you really need to be separate - hopefully with as little financial damage to each of you as possible. Yes, I realize that the time frame has already passed. But look at the bright side. Even if you did submit yourself to this, it's not too late to get a divorce. Edited July 25, 2010 by WithOrWithoutYou
jnj express Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 hey eeyore---did you get dropped on your head ---since when is dealing with A's, and the aftermath Joy and fun Some do it not cuz they want, but cuz they feel they have to---others D, immediately, others try, and then give up----the ones that do stick, their lives are never the same If you experienced joy, and fun in dealing with your cheating spouse, you must have been on drugs, and alcohol they whole time The aftermath of an A. is probably the worst thing a person will ever have to deal with, and you call it a joy, and fun----get real.
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