KeepTruckin Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 I just got out of a three year relationship with my girl, lived together for the past year. She ended things, mostly because she didn't feel our relationship growing anymore. She thought we became too comfortable with eachother and she felt it was just time to move on. I foolishly did take her for granted at times when it came to stuff around the house but never anything too serious. She just wasn't happy anymore with me and I missed all the warning signs until it was too late. I can't blame her for wanting to go out and find someone that makes her happy. I feel betrayed but I understand exactly where she is coming from. After reflecting on this, I know I made mistakes and would do anything to take them back. But that is not an option, and I know she is gone. My problem is I don't know what to do now. I'm devastated that this relationship didn't work out. When you invest so much emotion in something and it doesn't work out it's hard to go out and want to do it again. I just don't know how to come back from this. I have a great circle of support to help get me through this but it still hurts. It makes me sick to think that I couldn't provide what she needed to stay happy with me. I feel like she left me for dead emotionally.
aeren944 Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 I completely understand where you're coming from. I went through all of that, as well... and it's only been 2 months, but I AM doing better. I know you feel lost... like something you loved is just gone, and you're not normal. I know. I'm in the midst of it, too. But, like I said, I'm getting better. TONS of people said this to me, but it's the truth. You need to take all that time and energy you spent in the relationship and start spending it on you... I'm talking ALL that time and energy. Also, you need to realize that it's not entirely your fault at all. Maybe she wasn't happy with you, but maybe you were just comfortable... and not really happy with her. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to not have to settle for anything other than happiness, you know? Maybe, like me, you were comfortable... but not happy. Don't settle for being "left for dead". Don't settle for anything now. Invest ALL that time and energy from the relationship into yourself. Make yourself your new significant other... impress yourself, make yourself laugh, cherish yourself. It's no longer about her happiness, it's about yours.
Sari Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 I completely understand where you're coming from. I went through all of that, as well... and it's only been 2 months, but I AM doing better. I know you feel lost... like something you loved is just gone, and you're not normal. I know. I'm in the midst of it, too. But, like I said, I'm getting better. TONS of people said this to me, but it's the truth. You need to take all that time and energy you spent in the relationship and start spending it on you... I'm talking ALL that time and energy. Also, you need to realize that it's not entirely your fault at all. Maybe she wasn't happy with you, but maybe you were just comfortable... and not really happy with her. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to not have to settle for anything other than happiness, you know? Maybe, like me, you were comfortable... but not happy. Don't settle for being "left for dead". Don't settle for anything now. Invest ALL that time and energy from the relationship into yourself. Make yourself your new significant other... impress yourself, make yourself laugh, cherish yourself. It's no longer about her happiness, it's about yours. That's such a nice reply. I have followed your story a bit and you do seem to be making progress. I like what you said about making myself my new significant other - I will certainly give it a try! Hugs! And KeepTruckin, well what a nice guy you are - no bitterness, no 'how could she's - you should be proud of yourself. I wish I could be so gracious in defeat I too am feeling truly exhausted by the whole thing, the idea of doing it all over again simultaneously exhausts and terrifies me. But this is how it will be for a while, there is no getting around it, just have to hold you breath and go through it for a while. Everyone bounces back eventually, as long as they give themselves time to grieve and then time to heal. I'm still grieving at the moment though, and expect to be for a considerable period yet. Hugs to you - I'm giving them out a lot on here as these are a big thing I'm missing from my ex and I'm missing them BAD.
Author KeepTruckin Posted June 18, 2010 Author Posted June 18, 2010 Thank you so much guys for the words of encouragement. I’m trying to be as gracious in defeat as possible, I still have the occasional “how could she”, but I’m feeling better most of the time. I think what gets me the most is the enormous hole she left in my life. I am now finding myself trying to do anything possible to fill that void. We always spent so much time together. I know this will just take time, but I feel nothing but anxiety if I sit around too long with nothing but my thoughts about all of this. Aeren944- Thank you for the great post. I’m glad to hear your doing better, as that does give me hope. I know what you mean when I need to learn to cherish myself; I need to fill this void in my life with something positive. I know I love her, but maybe I was comfortable and not truly happy. That may be why I understand so much when it comes to her point of view. Regardless I am going to miss her presence in my life very much, and as hard as it is for me to say, I really hope she finds the happiness she is looking for even if it is not with me. She is a great girl, and she deserves it.
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