trying to win fiancee back...first meetup after NC letter...what does she want

[cafe267]

Brief background - broke ex-fiancee's trust by remaining friends w/an ex, essentially emotionally cheated behind her back w/ex, enjoyed exes friendship but she wanted more. Ex-fiancee is very controlling and has some issues but I love her. Have a young child w/ex fiancee.

 

 

Well so she has been running very hot and cold and using our daughter as a tool against me. I've been very non-reactive which is against my norm but seems much more prudent. Things were turbulent when we broke up arranging visitation...she was around and would just pick on me and things blew up...i was deprived my daughter for 3 weeks and told to leave town, get legal papers or i wouldnt see her etc...

 

That passed after I wrote a NC letter about 4 weeks ago. Within 2 weeks she was asking me to see daughter and has progressively been warmer. The other day she started asking me about my good fortune I spoke of in NC letter...i said we could discuss in future in private w/out her fam around. She then proceeded to tell me not to bring women around our daughter w/out consulting her first...I gave some ambiguous about my status and agreed and requested the same. I've generally acted as though I don't care and offered to babysit if she needs a free night (aka date night). It seems to have unsettled her as yesterday she started grilling me about why I am always ready to leave after visiting my daughter (mind you she told me she didn't want me in her life when we broke up). She started asking me about my plans and what was going on etc...I think she is getting jealous and still has feelings...

 

well shortly after I left w/out really having the talk she wanted i get a text telling me I can't see my daughter anymore, that its fine I am busy but I can't see her as I'm now a "stranger" to her....

 

what on earth does she want out of me...i try to move on and I think she senses that and is worried I'm dating etc...

 

well i told her we should catch up and i don't know much about her life anymore either...she's agreed to meet for coffee, we've been broken up 3 mos. now.

 

Anything to make of her behavior? IE does she miss me, or is she just jealous I could be moving on/does the idea of me moving on make her want me again? not sure how to proceed and if she asks me about my dating status over coffee if i should even share w/her

[S.Tee]

Obviously she still wants you back. She is hurt but after all the coffee chat, she is trying to check on your life. How happy you are right now and maybe waiting for you to tell her that 'you still want her back' or maybe 'It's over and you just wanna go on with your life."

 

Do you still want her back?

 

If not, just ignore and whenever two of you meet, just discuss on general terms. You are still in touch with for the sake of your daughter. Just tell her how you are OK with the break-up thing and never talk about reconcile coz you never intend to!

 

But if you want her back, be frank. Tell her how much you regret the previous decision and how you realize you need her in your life. Do NOT show you are desperate or hungry for her, just express your feelings professionally. You can still get along with your lfe right now but it is not complete without her and the kid. At least, now she can slowly discover she also needs to you.

 

Be cool, let it develop.

 

Good luck