littlelisa30 Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 It's only been a week and two days since my husband told me he "doesn't want to do this anymore". His reasons have changed, he's told me he misses me, he's talked about starting over, but honestly I think its done. I don't think there is hope (although at this stage I would take him back) I don't think the divorce is about me (as he claims) but about something that is broken in him or something horrible that he's done and won't own up to yet. But still, he's been horrible toward me since we broke up. Only 3 times have I seen a glimpse of the man I loved so deeply. I've lost my best friend, my protector, my lover, in a week. There were NO signs. Nothing seemed amiss. And now I'm left trying to understand what has happened. Please someone tell me what is the best way to cope? I've lost eight pounds in a week, I'm exhausted and I just want to turn my brain off so I can stop rehashing every minute of our marriage. I have gone through the house (did this the first night) and thrown away everything he's ever given me, clothes that he would compliment, got rid of even the toothpaste we use, towels etc and bought everything new. I don't even want anything that smells like him or reminds me of him. I am moving (when I find a place) so I won't have to live the house we spent the last two years in. It is like our life was just interupted. there just was no warning. One day he loved me and I was the best thing that had ever happened to him and a week later he hates me with everything he has. He has said (in moments where he's not mad) that this was the best relationship he's ever had. That he's never felt closer to anyone. That the sex was the best he's ever had, that I was his best friend. That just a few months ago he couldn't imagine life without me. (he wrote this to me in a note a few months ago) and now he wants nothing to do with. He will act like he wants to talk about our marriage and saving it but then he turns mad and mean again. Gives me hope and then yanks it away. I have tried hanging out with friends, I am trying to go places we went together with others so I can erase the memories of him. Sort of desensitizing myself. I get upset in the grocery store when I see his favorite foods. How stupid! I'm trying to grieve, but this isnt' a loss like a death where there is nothing you could have done. I feel partly responsible for him leaving. At least I feel responsible (and humilated) for not knowing. We just had a huge Memorial day party with his family. I feel like maybe they all knew and I was in the dark. We had so many plans this summer and carrying those out with anyone else just doesn't feel right. I would just miss my husband. I miss having someone to come home to, someoen to hold me in his arms at night, someone to make love with every night, someone to talk to after work and just share the day with. I am trying to keep busy so I won't think about it. But my mind just wanders and rehash the situation over and over. I just want to know WHY and then maybe I can bury this and put it to rest. I feel abandoned and alone. I had NO idea this was coming. NONE. We didn't fight, he was always loving and sweet and good to me. And now he's a totally different person who probably could care less about me. I don't understand how someone's feelings can change so quickly?? I don't know what else to do. How do I get through each day? I've tried to do things to cheer myself up but I can't get into it. I have cleaned the house like crazy and gotten rid of TONS of stuff. I went through my closets and got rid of FOUR garbage bags of clothes. Throwing stuff out seems to soothe me. I've put away all pictures, gotten rid of cards and letters he gave me. All of this and I it still hurts like hell. I'm seeing a counselor once a week. Any other suggestions?
Star Gazer Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 I'm sorry you're hurting. I'm right there with you right now. Have you been exercising? It's amazing what some natural endorphins can do...
GrayClouds Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 Read the following two links, do all they suggest and they will get you started: The No Contact Guide So you want a second chance? Good luck, it does get better. .
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