Contact With Ex...What Have I Done D:

[FearandLoathing]

First of all, I'm sorry this is a bit long. Please read it though, or at least some of it..

 

I stopped talking to my ex at the beginning of April after many months of on/off relationship and him using me for sex. Basically I was still in love with him, he had been over me for awhile. So NC started in April and got as far as a month before my friend found out he was moving away because all of a sudden he's a model and decided to give him my number (I had changed it, because he always comes back and talks to me) so he could tell me. Why she thought I needed to know, I have no idea (currently not speaking to her). That was just over a month ago and it completely set me back, because I just stopped talking to him again last night.

 

Anyway, this next part is completely embarrassing on my part but I just need to get it off my chest.

 

He texted me a lot during the past month, telling me everything about his modelling and his moving away about how he was scared. Everything. It was just like it used to be. He even told me about dreams he'd had and just conversations about things he thought were interesting and stuff. Aaaaaaah, just everything like the way it used to be. All the time he'd be promising that we'd hang out but then he'd bail - even after setting dates and times.

 

Obviously I texted him back and enjoyed hearing from him because a month of NC was not enough to get over him. So of course when he finally invited me over, and I went, and yeah we totally slept together. And it hurt a lot, especially when he stopped talking to me as much after that happened.

 

He promised we'd hang out again before he left...well, we were supposed to hang out yesterday because it was supposed to be his last day here (I say 'supposed' because he's already delayed his trip about 3 times) and of course he bailed. He answered my text asking if we were still going to hang out and then completely never texted me back... until... dun dun dun

 

I freaked out

 

I told him not to talk to me anymore and it started an argument (because he would of course answer that text to defend himself). Not a very long one but I suppose now he thinks I'm insane...as usual.

 

I'm not insane I'm just really hurt (even though this was my fault) and I can't seem to get over him. He was my first love and I feel as though I'll never feel that way about someone again, so I hold on and remember all the good stuff. We spent more months arguing and him using me than we did in an actual relationship but I'm still holding on Ugh.

 

I don't really expect advice because I know I made a mistake but I'd love to hear from anyone right now

[Ilovecake]

He doesn't care about you at all so you really shouldn't care about his opinion of you. Unless he's been going to medical school for years he has no way of knowing whether you are sane or not.

 

I don't understand why girls let guys victimize them like that and then blame themselves for it. This is not your fault, he used you and you fell for his charm because you love him. Chuck it up to a bad day and move on, without him. He's never going to be there for you as the person you want him to be so you have two choices, either pinne for him till you actually do go insane or go on with your life and be as happy as you can without him.

[FearandLoathing]

Thanks a lot for reading and responding!

 

You really made me feel better about it. Other people have made me feel like it's the end of the world that I even talked to him and think I'm a complete idiot for it. I like how you said to just think of it as a bad day

[Arabella]

Your story totally sounds like mine. My long-distance ex and broke up in November of last year, and after a couple of months of NC, we began talking again... obviously we weren't over each other and began to discuss reconciliation.

 

SIX months later, nothing still had happened... and we both happened to move to the same area. He kept making plans and then bailing the last minute.

 

Three days ago, he bailed on me after he asked to come over for dinner and I cooked something he requested.

 

I freaked out and I told him I hated him and never to speak to me again. Of course, to that, he did respond, trying to defend himself and all that crap.

 

Morale of the story? They don't care nearly as much as we do. They will keep using us whenever is convenient for them, and hurting us with rejection the rest of the time.

 

Not worth your time, nor mine. Time to find someone who knows how to appreciate a real woman.

 

Best of luck

 

Arabella

[GrayClouds]

Cake is right, you did what you did because you cared. But now you learn a lesson and that will make healing easier. You learned this guy does not deserve your love, he has no problem taking advantage of it, and while it hurt now you will be better off with out him so someday you will can find someone who does deserve your affections.

 

Know this it will help you move on. Good luck.

 

 

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[Heatemyheart89]

Dont feel bad ive done much worse. Its all in the past so now time to move on. Its good hes going away.Stick to no contact and you will be just fine.

He sounds like a total jerk!

[FearandLoathing]

^ He is a jerk, that I know FOR SURE haha

 

Thanks guys for not making me feel like I'm a total loser for what happened.. it's been really hard trying to let go of all this and I know you're right when you all say it's the past and this will help me move on.

 

It's a little comforting to know there are others who have been through the same thing - but a bit unnerving that there is more than one guy like this out there D:

[Ilovecake]

I'm not even going to embarrass myself by telling you some of the crazy stuff I did after we broke up, all out of anger. Let's just say a year and half later and gay men are probably still emailing him for dates.