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How come Nice Guys don't fall for Nice Girls???

Peitho

By Peitho
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Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

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What are the advantages of a nice girl over a bad girl?

Won't sleep with your brother?

Taramere Established Member

Taramere

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Very astute observation!!

 

And yes, it rings true for me. The "nicest" guys I've dated seemed absolutely obsessed with the "manliest" of my exes, and the "manliest" of the competition. And yes, I picked up on numerous subtle homoerotic comments and suggestions they made. Kind of an "oh my god, that man is so hot, I could never compete...", with the unspoken part being "I wish he would do me!"

 

This song was written by men.

samsungxoxo Established Member

samsungxoxo

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I got a theory. While the nice girls are taken by jerks, nice men with little or no spine are trapped with man-eaters (these men will go for looks and eventually get destroyed emotionally as well as psychological).

 

In short terms, overly nice people (doormats) sadly get eaten by the bigger fish in the tank.

Edited by samsungxoxo
Annan New Member

Annan

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Some of us are either horny or bored. If that may be the case screw them You're better off waiting for that one person.

AD1980 Established Member

AD1980

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Since women for the most part refuse to approach nobody can tell a girl is nice just by her standing in there in the corner waiting to be approached..

 

If women who seem to get ignored maybe approaches and tries to charm a Man like some quieter non descript plain looking guys have to do to get women perhaps theyd have more sucess...

fishtaco Established Member

fishtaco

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Why would any woman want nice guys to go for them? They need more friends?

sagetalk Established Member

sagetalk

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1. The reality was that while I found his stories very interesting to hear, I didn't have any sexual interest in the soldier. I very much doubt the same can be said of the man who was accusing me of lusting after him.

 

2. I wonder how often there's an element of homoerotic projection involved in this matter of self-defined Nice Guys raving on about women lusting after Bad Boys or overtly macho men.

 

3. a) confines his romantic interest to women who are clearly out of his reach and likely to remain so

b) seems preoccupied with Bad Boys

 

is probably going to alert most women's gaydars to some extent. Maybe some quiet but straight men get mistaken for being gay as a result of falling too heavily into this Nice Guys Finish Last mentality.

 

1. That is extremely cruel, wow. So when you complain about Barbie dolls with big chests that means you're a lesbian :rolleyes:.

 

2. It's easy to understand. Bad boys want sex and then leave after they are tired of it. Who wouldn't rave about that other than girls who are too dumb to know whats going on. My tax dollars pay for these dead beats kids, it ticks me off! Or worse, a guy gets stuck dating one of these girls who hates men because, "All guys are terrible" crap.

 

3. If that sets your gaydar off then at least half the men in the world are gay to you. It sounds to me like you like to make excuses for why you like men who aren't nice guys.

Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

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1. That is extremely cruel, wow. So when you complain about Barbie dolls with big chests that means you're a lesbian :rolleyes:.

 

2. It's easy to understand. Bad boys want sex and then leave after they are tired of it. Who wouldn't rave about that other than girls who are too dumb to know whats going on. My tax dollars pay for these dead beats kids, it ticks me off! Or worse, a guy gets stuck dating one of these girls who hates men because, "All guys are terrible" crap.

 

3. If that sets your gaydar off then at least half the men in the world are gay to you. It sounds to me like you like to make excuses for why you like men who aren't nice guys.

Man, you are bitter. And I know, because I'm a quite bitter female. :laugh:

 

I saw your picture the other day. You're totally cute. And you're clearly pretty smart, and you have a heart. Quit whining and go get yourself a lady. :cool:

Woggle Established Member

Woggle

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Another thing is just because a woman says she is nice does not mean that she is. This goes for men also. People prove themselves through actions and not just going around claiming to be something.

samsungxoxo Established Member

samsungxoxo

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Someone that accepts poorly treatment clearly has issues. No normal, sane person would have little respect for themselves or settle for less....

 

sagetalk Established Member

sagetalk

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1. Man, you are bitter. And I know, because I'm a quite bitter female. :laugh:

 

2. I saw your picture the other day. You're totally cute. And you're clearly pretty smart, and you have a heart. Quit whining and go get yourself a lady. :cool:

 

1. Bitter against women, I don't think so. Bitter against people who are unfaithful or selfish in dating, probably.

 

2. Thanks, I'm working on it.

Taramere Established Member

Taramere

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1. That is extremely cruel, wow. So when you complain about Barbie dolls with big chests that means you're a lesbian :rolleyes:.

 

If you think that's extremely cruel, then life must be a terrible trial for you. As for complaining about women with large breasts....I don't. What's the correlation between a woman who has large breasts and a man who uses women for sex? Having large breasts isn't some character flaw or misdemeanour I would dislike a person for.

 

It's easy to understand. Bad boys want sex and then leave after they are tired of it. Who wouldn't rave about that other than girls who are too dumb to know whats going on. My tax dollars pay for these dead beats kids, it ticks me off! Or worse, a guy gets stuck dating one of these girls who hates men because, "All guys are terrible" crap.

 

If that sets your gaydar off then at least half the men in the world are gay to you. It sounds to me like you like to make excuses for why you like men who aren't nice guys.

 

If you find yourself "stuck" dating women who hate men because of their previous romantic relationships, then that isn't you being nice. That's you being unable to assert yourself with women in a way they'll respect. Look at how you just reacted to me there. You got emotional and you accused me of extreme cruelty for the kind of comment most guys would just laugh off.

 

You won't get respect from women with that approach. I'm not trying to be hurtful or insulting in saying that. What I'm trying to do is tell you that if you're having problems with women...and if the problems are along the lines of you getting stuck with women who hate/disrespect men, then at some point you have to look within to try to find the reasons. If you enjoy venting about bad boys, then you'll be regarded as a willing listener by a woman who wants to vent about a ****ty experience she had with a man. If you find it boring to talk about bad boys, then you'll signal that automatically to a woman and she'll know "this isn't the guy to have this whining session with."

 

And yes...the only men I know who enjoy listening at length to stories of romantic woes from women are gay. Quite openly so. That's been my experience. They like hearing it because it gives them an opportunity to share some of their stories of times they've felt mistreated by men romantically. I've never in my life heard so much talk of men being bastards as I have when in the company of gay men.

 

Other men will tend to indicate pretty fast that they're not interested in hearing too much about romantic woes. Their approach appearing to be "if you need to share, do it fairly quickly and then let's move on to another subject."

 

Then there's the third category I suppose (and this might be the Nice Guy category you're talking about). These are the guys who don't relish hearing stories about a woman's romantic woes, but who are either very caring people/rescuers who feel obligated to provide a sounding board, or who will take any opportunity to keep talking to a woman due to their romantic interest in her - even if it means listening to complaints about ex boyfriends that they're not really interested in hearing about. Is that you?

 

If the problem is that you care a little too much for your own good, then you probably need to learn some techniques to indicate to women when enough is enough, with regard to a particular subject, without being unkind about it. One of my closest male friends (not gay) does this by shaking his head and swearing sympathetically....then he'll switch to another subject. If you go back to the subject he's heard enough about he'll let me know more directly that he's heard enough about that subject. There's a kind of graduation of "enough's enough" signals. You might do well to master that art if you're often finding yourself stuck with women who complain about men a lot.

Edited by Taramere
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