BeccaBear Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 So Confused!!! Need outside opinions please... LDR and Open Relationship About 5 months ago my high school sweetheart and I re-connected on a romantic level. We have stayed in touch over the 10 years since we graduated and were friends and other than the occasional date we had not dated in over 10 years. 5 months ago we started talking again. He relocated from our hometown and moved 800 miles away for work. We thought it was going to be casual being we live so far away from each other. He visited me and then I went out for a week and visited him. It was incredible, our connection was so strong and every aspect was amazing. We sat up all night on many of the nights and talked about what we wanted out of life, goals, feelings, and our situation. We both agreed that the potential for "happily ever after" was there and that we wanted to try. We have been both traveling back and forth, seeing eachother about every 2-3 weeks and talk every day. Most of our conversations are about the future, getting married, having children, etc, etc, etc. Most of my friends who know the situation think its a fairytale because he is being so open, honest and positive about the future and we havent dated that long this time around but do have a long history. We have been making plans for the future, booking trips, vacations, etc. I have a child from my previous marriage and he is looking forward to meeting her, doesnt have any issues with it and talks about loving her the same in the future as any children we might have. Here's the problem... As amazing as he is with what he says and how much he makes me feel like he loves me and has decided in his mind that I am "the one" he refuses to commit to an exclusive relationship. I have explained to him how much this bothers me and that to me it feels like cheating because he talks about getting married and "our" future however then I know he is dating. He states that he is not "connecting" or "getting attached" to anyone else and I am the only one he wants to be serious with but that being we are so far apart he just cant become exclusive. Since we do speak everyday and see eachtother and are intimate for several days together every 2-3 weeks I really cant understand the need for "physical" when its not that long between visits. What does this mean? Should I be ok with it? Should I give it time? I know how I feel about him and I couldnt go and be with anyone else because it would hurt to much even though its hard being alone since he is so far away. It hurts that he can which makes me feel like he doesnt feel the same but then he says things that would totally make you think he is head over heels and wants to settle down... Im so confused.
Arasae Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 This man is showing you through his words and his actions that he doesn't respect you. All of his sweet nothings are exactly that--empty words. A man who truly loved you wouldn't be touching other women if it bothered you as much as it seems to. He wouldn't be seeing them, dating them, or sleeping with them. Why? Because you don't like it. Unfortunately, he's taken advantage of this situation and twisted it around so that he can have this intimate connection with you for the security, while going out and having "fun" with other women. I would NOT let him meet your child, and cut it off with him as soon as possible. Any man who disrespects you and how you're feeling to that level is NOT worth it.
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