stace79 Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 So here's the thing -- I don't think my LDR-BF will cheat on me. What I worry about is that he will meet a new girl as a "friend", and even though he promises he will not hang out with any females alone, that through hanging out in groups he could start developing more feelings for someone other than me (since I'm 7 hours away and hardly get to see him). I have tried talking to him and explaining this to him. I think he is just starting to get it. For me, I like to hang out with different groups of people. Some of the groups involve attractive men. However, if I felt some sort of attraction to one of these guys, I would limit my interaction with him so as to avoid developing stronger feelings. Because I am committed 100% to my relationship. I wouldn't stop going out, but I would just say "hey" to that guy and then talk more to everyone else. I wouldn't do things to encourage more feelings for him. My bf has said in the past that if you fall in love with someone else, then maybe your current relationship wasn't "meant to be" or you're not with the right person [if your emotions develop for someone else]. I think that's crap, honestly. I think if you commit yourself to someone, you do anything in your power to avoid ending up in a situation where you have romantic feelings for someone else while in a relationship.
Lucky318 Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 I know exactly what you're talking about. I had that same talk with my LD BF. he was saying the same things like well it's fate and sometimes those challenges are placed in front of you but I completely agree with you, I think they are avoidable for sure. its a crappy situation but hopefully he will realize what you have and fight to not get distracted and focus on the relationship. good luck girl. I'm hoping for the same thing..
Author stace79 Posted June 17, 2010 Author Posted June 17, 2010 I don't think he wants to put himself in precarious situations. I think he has every intention of being faithful. But it's the attitude that, well, if one day in your relationship or marriage you've been unhappy, and you meet someone else and fall in love, that it just wasn't meant to be. And I totally disagree. I think committing to a relationship and even moreso getting married means you forsake all those opportunities where you might fall in love with someone else. You do everything in your power to ensure that it doesn't happen. I guess I am wondering if my viewpoint just makes me incompatible with a lot of men, not just my bf. Unfortunately I think the lack of people with my attitude is why there are so many divorces. I'm glad I'm not the only one. It is unbearable. I have been back and forth with this guy so many times, and I really thought this time was going to be different. He was trying so hard to compromise and make concessions, and I was trying, too. Now I'm just not so sure.
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