I'm Batman Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 I need some hope from you guys... Do opposites attract? Its a general question and maybe I'm thinking too much into this. I'm currently dating this awesome girl, but the more I find about about her the more opposite interests we share. i.e. I'm loud and talkative, she's quieter (doesn't mean she doesn't talk). I love cooking, she doesn't etc. ATM, I'm not worried about these little stupid things, and I'm very open to trying new things, but can opposites attract and last for a long period? To contradict the first part of this thread, what IF you dated a guy/girl that had very similar interests/opinions? Can that last?
Sivok Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 Ofcourse they do! Imo, the best relationships are those that absolutely make no sense - because you know you like a person for THEM, not what their interests are or the way they dress/etc.
Bangle Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 As long as you share the same values and want the same things from the relationship then little differences like tv shows and favourite books do not matter at all.
ADF Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 Opposites can attract in the short term, but they generally repel over the long haul. It is natural to be attracted to someone who has personal qualities you admire but don't have yourself. However, to make thing works long-term, people usually need to have quite a bit in common.
Mr White Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 I've realized that not only opposites attract, but that's also a prerequisite for a satisfying relationship. Also, "opposites" is not a good word. COMPLEMENTARITY is a much better way to describe it, since it focus on the value - more than the simple sum - produced by complementary traits. I wouldn't want to be with someone who is even remotely like me - how would it enhance my life and relationship to get more of the same??? What is better - double amount of beer, or beer and pizza? Ther eyou go
Author I'm Batman Posted June 16, 2010 Author Posted June 16, 2010 What is better - double amount of beer, or beer and pizza? Ther eyou go hmmm, never thought of it that way. I can have both, and eat it too Well in my case, I'm in the 'think outside of the box' (creative) field, and she's 'think within the box' (medicine) field. I'm hoping when we have more intelligent conversations that she may have a totally different opinion challenging my perceptions about stuff. IMO, if I dated somebody that was my exact twin, conversations would become bland and repetitive, am i right in saying this?
Confusedalways Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 I've found certain qualities need to be opposite in order for us to get along. I once met a guy who was a lot like me and there was no way I could have dated him.
Mr White Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 Remember that "Seinfield" episode when he met a girl that was exactly like him? Fascinating at first, terrifying later . There surely need to be some similarities, but similarities in the important stuff - i.e. general basic life goals/values, and that's it. Beyond that to me complementary traits are much preferable to repetition. Division of labor is more efficient and opens up more possibilities than redundancy.
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