Nervous about getting too involved.

[Loquacious Miss L.]

Ok.

 

So I met this guy recently, in the last three weeks, who is sweet, caring, kind, and really nice. We hit it off immediately and he makes me feel safe and cared about (for lack of a better word).

 

The problem? Well he left his wife six months ago. When he left he left everything. It left him in a poor financial situation and as such he had to move back home with his parents (he's 33). He also is carless at the moment. However, we've been out a number of times and he always finds a way to get to me and I've never had to pick him up. He feels bad about his situation and tells me it's not permanent and that he knows he's not the ultimate catch at the moment. He's expressed nervousness about getting involved for this very reason....I have expressed the same thing. I think it's taking a risk.

 

However, I like how we are when we're together. It's easy. Life just melts away and he makes me smile. He's easy to talk to and so far, so good.

 

Part of me says to stick around and see if he is going to work on his situation (he's saving for a car), etc. and part of me is skittish because I don't want to get too serious with him until his situation is different.

 

Is it wrong to hang out with him? Do I cut and run now? Or do I give him the benefit of the doubt?

[iheartlavalamps]

Is he working? What kind of job?

 

Why did he leave his wife?

 

I was with a guy once who, while he had never been married and wasn't that old (no offense to the age, my bf is 31, just a comparison), he was in a poor financial situation with no car and living with his parents.

 

9 months later, he still had no car, and was still living with his parents.

 

Personally, since then I've decided for myself that I won't date anyone who doesn't have their stuff together, because if they don't have a car or their own place, how can they make decisions that are entirely their own? If I want my man at 3am, I don't want him to say I can't come because it's his parents house. Or he can't come because he doesn't have a car.

 

Plus, if he RECENTLY left here, they probably still have issues to work out.

[Loquacious Miss L.]

He lays concrete for a living, fine by me. He left her because they argued about everything from money to minor things. I am torn because I don't want to go down this road too far if the situation doesn't change. Yet I don't want to throw in the towel quite yet, yet these are things that are on my mind.

[carhill]

Is it wrong to hang out with him?

 

IMO, no. If you get on well, nothing wrong with hanging out. Sounds positive to me.

Do I cut and run now?

Up to you. I wouldn't but I also would not invest emotionally quickly or easily.

Or do I give him the benefit of the doubt?

 

Give him time for his actions to match his words.

 

Be aware that most respondents to a thread I posed on this subject (how to list myself in an online personals ad and dating a separated man) were negative, in that the respondents would not date me. I'm separated over a year now and the D should be final, barring any more 'mistakes' by stbx, in a couple months. Still, the female LS'ers have spoken. Take their words of wisdom for what they're worth. Good luck

[Loquacious Miss L.]

Thank you I think this is a situation to keep my eye on. I enjoy his company a lot but don't think it would be wise to invest myself too much emotionally at the moment. Not until some things are cleaned up.

[ADF]

Not only do you obviosuly enjot spening time with this man, but he had been open and honest about what is, quite frankly, a humiliating situation. I cannot imagine how else he would need to prove his trust. You've found a good man. Don't throw him away.

[basujrajun1110]

don't be nervous dude ...

 

keep going ......

 

 

 

http://www.vgirlfriend.com

[Loquacious Miss L.]

Thanks, I think I will give it a shot:)