bananaboat11 Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 I had a good talk with one of her friends. No way, shape, or form will ever convince me to take the recent ex back now... ANYHOW... We left off as "friends", but the ex and I.. even if only for a short time together (6-7 weeks, but felt longer) were intimate. I don't want friendship. I got most of my stuff back, but let her borrow 2 books (a graphic novel and a henry james short story anthology... easily replaceable books under 50.00USD) I've put her on limited profile on facebook and changed to phone entry to "IGNORE (HER INITIALS) FOR NOW"... I saw her + her ex .. or beau BY Accident out to lunch while I was going to get coffee. I don't want to hang out with her again. I am thinking about de-facebooking her. AND/OR blocking her. Should I? or should I be "mature" and keep her on, but on limited... ugh stupid broken girls
ADF Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 By all means, cut off all contact with this woman. She's clearly used up whatever remained of your goodwill. The only thing I would add is that men are just as irrational as women when it comes to this stuff. Search LS and you will find TONS of posts by men who obssess endlessly about women who treat them like dirt.
carhill Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 you will find TONS of posts by men who obssess endlessly about women who treat them like dirtAmen. BTDT. OP, it's real simple. She's *attracted* to abusive men, or, more unhealthily, she lied to you about him being abusive. I'll bet you didn't do an independent criminal background check on him, did you? . She probably has issues in her past that define love for her that way. Simple incompatibility (for you). Black hole her and move on to more compatible potentials. See your observation of her and her ex as a divine message from God right to your eyes. Wonderful
USMCHokie Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 [quote=bananaboat11;2844252I am thinking about de-facebooking her. AND/OR blocking her. Should I? or should I be "mature" and keep her on, but on limited... ugh stupid broken girls There is nothing mature about keeping her on Facebook. You're an idiot if you do. Block. Move on.
DustySaltus Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 The nicer you treat a girl like this, the worse they feel about themselves.
Author bananaboat11 Posted June 16, 2010 Author Posted June 16, 2010 The nicer you treat a girl like this, the worse they feel about themselves. Or the more guilty they feel, but still move on like nothing happened. My buddy who is in the US Army told me to ignore her... limited profile her, but keep her on my fb friends list so she can see what she's missing while she's being abused ... heh
USMCHokie Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 My buddy who is in the US Army told me to ignore her... limited profile her, but keep her on my fb friends list so she can see what she's missing while she's being abused ... heh And your buddy who is in the US Marine Corps told you to block her from Facebook. It's irrelevant what she thinks or feels, and there's no purpose in getting her to see what she's "missing"...keep her out of your life...and stay out of hers...she's batsh*t crazy...
Heatemyheart89 Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 delete off facebook. Its not about being mature itsa about getting rid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GrayClouds Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 stupid broken girls Stop. Name calling and blaming is not going to help. You have consistently shown a pattern of choosing to find external reinforcements to you internal dislike for yourself. You try to change yourself physically to make you better happier, you rush into unhealthy relationship to feel worth while, and you hold on to a figment some sort of perceived legitimate relationship so give you an excuse to feel bad. Each and every one of these things are merely distractions from deep seeded pain that your choosing to ignore. Rather then addressing it, you once again look external to find something to improve, to distract, to blame. BB your a smart guy, that is obvious, but you are using your intelligence to outsmart yourself. It is time to look inward to heal your pain and take control of your own happiness. Or choose to continue to be unhappy but do not blame anyone else. Find where this hurt of yours come from, then find healthier ways to mange it. What your doing now is not working, and no matter how clever you are, you can not make it work. It is time to stop beings smart broken boy.
Author bananaboat11 Posted June 16, 2010 Author Posted June 16, 2010 Stop. Name calling and blaming is not going to help. You have consistently shown a pattern of choosing to find external reinforcements to you internal dislike for yourself. You try to change yourself physically to make you better happier, you rush into unhealthy relationship to feel worth while, and you hold on to a figment some sort of perceived legitimate relationship so give you an excuse to feel bad. Each and every one of these things are merely distractions from deep seeded pain that your choosing to ignore. Rather then addressing it, you once again look external to find something to improve, to distract, to blame. BB your a smart guy, that is obvious, but you are using your intelligence to outsmart yourself. It is time to look inward to heal your pain and take control of your own happiness. Or choose to continue to be unhappy but do not blame anyone else. Find where this hurt of yours come from, then find healthier ways to mange it. What your doing now is not working, and no matter how clever you are, you can not make it work. It is time to stop beings smart broken boy. I am broken. I know this. I have Body Dismorphic Disorder, yet I'm in GREAT SHAPE. I am intelligent.. yet I think I'm dumb as ****. I'm tall... ok I know I'm tall. I don't know. I give up. I'm broken, broken, broken, broken. I used to be so confident. I used to be so content with my life. Now I'm in a downward spiral... I LET these broken women into my life... knowingly. I feel better when I'm around them. I don't know why...
cdt76 Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 Maybe it's because these women come to you easily. You know you are attractive to them and there is no work in it. You know that they are disfunctional and that keeps you from becoming emotionally attached, if maybe only for brief intimate encounters. You know that when they leave, you won't be anymore broken hearted then you were when the original one left. The chance that a normal nice girl falls for you, invites you to open up your heart to her and in that moment you know you are locked in and vulnerable. You know then that you will be hurt and don't want to risk it. So you find these girls that you know don't measure up. You enjoy the attention but you know it will only be fleeting because you can't handle anything more intense but yet you don't want to be alone. When you are alone you beg for that special someone to come into your life but you know deep down you can't do it right now. So you subsitute what you want and need, for what is safe and easily thrown away. Of course, this could just be what I'm doing!
GrayClouds Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 I am broken. I know this. I have Body Dismorphic Disorder, yet I'm in GREAT SHAPE. I am intelligent.. yet I think I'm dumb as ****. I'm tall... ok I know I'm tall. I don't know. I give up. I'm broken, broken, broken, broken. I used to be so confident. I used to be so content with my life. Now I'm in a downward spiral... I LET these broken women into my life... knowingly. I feel better when I'm around them. I don't know why... Great first step. Good news is you do not have to be. So what are you going to do about it?
Author bananaboat11 Posted June 16, 2010 Author Posted June 16, 2010 Great first step. Good news is you do not have to be. So what are you going to do about it? Stay single forever.
skydiveaddict Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 Stay single forever. Be careful what you wish for
Author bananaboat11 Posted June 16, 2010 Author Posted June 16, 2010 Be careful what you wish for I never have luck with dating/relationships...
skydiveaddict Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 I never have luck with dating/relationships... I don't either. But after a while being single really gets old for me at least. I'm always attracted to girls who aren't attracted to me and vise versa
Chrome Barracuda Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 So whatever happens to her now...she deserves what she gets!!! black eye and all.
GrayClouds Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 Stay single forever. A simplistic response, no where near the quality of thought your happiness deserves. At best it negates one of the symptoms but does not address underlining issue. Would you like to try again?
Odyssey Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 Hey OP, she sounds like my ex...lol She too went back to her abusive ex-bf. Consider it a bullet dodge man. really! she not your f*cking problem anymore. Don't worry. You'll find that confidence again.
GrayClouds Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 (edited) I don't either. But after a while being single really gets old for me at least. I'm always attracted to girls who aren't attracted to me and vise versa It really hard to accept love when we do not think we deserve it so we go out and find someone who agrees with us. Until we figure out why we believe what we believe, we continue to act on our beliefs and get what we think we deserve. Edited June 17, 2010 by GrayClouds
SadandConfusedWA Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 I am in the same boat. Not much luck with men and relationships. Bananaboat, if we lived closer I would take you out at least we could whinge about our PhDs.
Author bananaboat11 Posted June 17, 2010 Author Posted June 17, 2010 A simplistic response, no where near the quality of thought your happiness deserves. At best it negates one of the symptoms but does not address underlining issue. Would you like to try again? I am in the same boat. Not much luck with men and relationships. Bananaboat, if we lived closer I would take you out at least we could whinge about our PhDs. I'm beginning to wonder if the road less traveled is worth it. I question who I am... my intent... was this path truly worth taking If I can't find some small measure of peace. Yes, my research could lead to future research that can help the human race with the progression of the metabolic syndrome triad symptoms, but I do this because I love the science... yet am I a man of faith in religion. And here I lie on my friend's couch... not even in my own apartment. alone. Where am I in this world? Who am I? ...and ultimately... where is today? What is tomorrow? I'm not depressed. Far from it. I'm clearly not mentally healthy/stable anymore. It feels know thinking back how these girls wanted me from the moment they saw me. And they had other options, but they both pursued me. I refer to Nicole & Phoebe. The last 2 broken hearted girls with a misconstrued rationale to a healthy relationship with me.... or perhaps I am the one who doesn't comprehend the idea of a fulfilling and meaningful relationship shared between two partners. It's been 4-5 days now since I've last spoken to Phoebe. I'm not heart broken... I'd have to give my heart to bear that burden. However, knowing how we ended civilly... how she's with her ex again... how we're still friends, supposedly, and she's willing to try us again in the future (in the now, but neither one of us know where our hearts lie in the future)... it all seems so surreal. I don't know what to make of the situation. At least with Nicole... regardless of manipulative... harsh words were spoken in the heat of the moment allowing me to sever an emotional connection with her. Not without panic, agitation, and afraid... I'm sorry. I got carried away... I come here to vent as to not doing in real life. the one thing I don't understand is that this emotionally strained and girl void of heart and all things natural seems to be straightforward with me in all things, but that of her heart. We talk/ed (until I asked for space) that if were had intent to get back together eventually... we've talked about hanging out in the future... and to go on a date again soon. ...why? Why can't she be upfront with me? ....I've no intent in going on another date with her. Time and energy better spent elsewhere.
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