So and hurt :(,

[terminalmoraine]

Bad Break-up

 

It all began last September I was 18 and away on holiday on Spain and on the last night I met a 21 year old guy. We spent the next day together and when we returned home we kept in touch by text. A few dates later and we were official boyfriend and girlfriend. He lives an hours drive from me. I live in a town and he lives in the Country. Everything went great for the first 3-4 months. Then things changed.

 

This was my first serious relationship and I later found out he has been with lots (20 plus) women in his past. In all honesty it made me insecure. I hold down a 20 hour a week job and I am studying for a Law degree. It did make it difficult to see each other but I really tried to see him at least once a week.

 

He introduced me to his family. I stayed over a few times and even went away a weekend break with them. I thought he was into me. Shortly after the family trip he went away a break to Newcastle and didnt text me the whole weekend. I took this as a sign he had ended things. I changed my status to single online and when he got back he done the same. I thought it was worth fighting for. I travelled to his work and pleaded with him to make things work and he took me back. Even though he admitted to kissing someone else while away I was willing to forgive him. Another month went by (7 months into relationship) and all was going well.

 

Then he seemed to become cold and distant. He had a bad temper. I felt he was always angry towards me. After a night out I was angry and confronted him and said you are only using me for sex because you never make me feel special or say you love me. He responded with honestly I do really care for you. I could feel the end coming.

 

Then right in the middle of my exams in May we had been texting fine the whole week. I called him and he was like hi but he sounded sort of unhappy to hear from me. I burst into tears because of this and then he said he would come down for a few hours that night. Next thing you know I was in the shower when I got a text "I cant continue in this relationship anymore it isn't fair. I know you love me but it should be equal thats why its unfair. You deserve someone who make you truly happy. Please dont call I communicate best this way. All the best for your exams". After nine months I was devestated he was my first love.

 

I booked a hotel for his birthday in June and he said he would drop off half the money. He did and we chatted but I was so upset and begged with him to make us work. He said no but that we could be friends and he would text me the next day. But he never did. He also said I didnt know the real him and that last year he tried to kill his sister by holding a knife to her (I dont believe this).

 

I haven't contacted him since the breakup 11th May and he hasnt attempted to contact me. My profile views kept going up on my social network page and I am convinced it was him. I couldnt bear to see his face on mine anymore so I deleted him as a friend. My profile views stopped going up.

 

Please help me answer these. I honestly feel we could be so good together if we tried. What do I do?, should I send him a birthday text next week?, I dont believe you could spend nine months dating someone who lives an hour away from you if you dont love them?, why would he have given me the money for the hotel if he hated me?, do you think I will ever hear from him again?

 

Please help x

[Sivok]

First off I want to say I'm sorry you're going through this - I remember what it felt like losing my first love, and I thought it was the end of the world.

 

I came out of a 6 month relationship this past March. I ended things. Why? Because although she told me she was in love with me, I remember what it felt like to truly love someone, and I did not feel that way with her. She'd see me become distant or a little irritable (like you describe he did), continue asking me what's wrong? I knew she really cared for me and I wanted to give it time to see if my feelings would grow for her; they did not. In fact, the longer i stayed with her knowing i wasn't going to fall in love, the more irritated I became with her. In other words, it's completely possibly that he could have stayed with you for 9 months and never fallen in love with you.

 

I'm sorry hun, but the best advice I can give you right now is to go no contact and see if he gets back in touch with you.

[terminalmoraine]

It has been five weeks no contact, what do you think the chances of hearing from him again are?

[LoveTruthChaos]

You won't hear from him ever again.

Best of luck with being the best you that you can be, and finding the right one