Blue6 Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 7 months down a very windy road and I am doing much better. I didn't think I would get here so soon but I decided I am not a victim and deserve to be happy. I have been working out, hanging out with old friends and just enjoying life as it comes to me. I don't think about her anymore with any particular feeling, just memory. However, usually when I am driving home from somewhere this lingering feeling hits me and I get strangely sad and extremely lonely and all I can do is access her memory. I don't know why but I guess I used to think that being with her made me happier then anything. I now understand how dangerous that could be. I guess what I am getting at, is that I feel like I still owe her something or let her down in someway( I didn't!) and it's going to bug me until I let it go, easier said then done. It's one thing to break someones heart, she didn't have to rub it in my face knowingly. By the way it ended +her terrible clueless last words to me, the only time i'll be on her mind is when she finds something I gave her under a pile of clothes, but maybe thats giving her too much credit. At this point its not about getting back together, I genuinely miss my friend who was such a big part of my life and its just mind boggling at how she cut me out/ so easily moved on. As the current situation stands I know there is nothing I can do about it. Painful lesson learned(ing)...
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