ALombard Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 Hello everyone, So I'm sitting here at work and I was just thinking about my life post-break up. I've been reading a ton of threads recently about people pining over there ex's. Now I understand the process, believe me I went through hell and back. Maybe it's because I've pulled myself out of that emotional black hole that I have different view on things. So I just wanted to say a few things to those of you literally wasting your life away because you're no longer with your significant other. First and foremost for those people constantly in contact with their ex's, STOP IT! Seriously stop. I can't tell you how many times I have read posts in this forum about people who are heartbroken and confused because of their ex's. It blows my mind sometime how some people are allowing themselves to get hurt over and over and over again. Seriously, is it worth it?! Think about it...are those few minutes you talk to your ex or hang out with them really worth the crap you go through later? If you're going to keep putting yourself in a position to be stepped on, don't be so "surprised" when you find out you're being used. Secondly, for all of you starting to get out of your "emotional funk" as I like to call it. One word of advice, BE SELFISH. Now some of you "enlightened LS'ers" might look at that and not agree but in all honesty it really helps. When I say be selfish I mean in all aspects of life. This is your time now, no one elses. Make every second you're awake about you and don't let anyone deter you. The more selfish you get the more you confidence grows and the better you will feel. Now I'm not saying become a complete *******, but don't deny yourself the finer things in life. Third, anyone, and I really mean anyone thinks their ex will come back to them. LET IT GO! What you're doing (holding onto that hope) is probably the worse thing you can do for yourself minus holding a gun to your head. By doing what you're doing you are completely giving up the opportunity to move on. When you start living your life post-break up for your ex (example; working out, looking better, making more money). You start letting go of who you really are. If you do this, you will slowly wither away. You will never let go, you will never move on, and when you realize finally that your ex isn't coming back you're self confidence is already so far gone that it will be hard to construct again. Anyway that's all for now. Best of luck to all of you.
Heatemyheart89 Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 I completely agree!!!! Once you really let go is when you start to feel better. After nearly a year I have realised that he is totally gone never coming back and I'm glad. I feel great. Its only when you let go of any hope and go complete no contact that you can recover
cdt76 Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 True. I've let go but every now and then when I think of her, I want her to get cancer and die a slow miserable death. Is that bad?
hardtocope Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 I agree! Total NC - I have to keep having contact with mine through work, and it sucks and is demoralizing. So I am considering another job, seriously. Also, I htink if getting into the hate stage gets you out of the pain and loss stage, then go for it. I am entering hate stage, lots of anger towards this person, wishing for bad gardening accidents, toasters in the bathtub, mountain lion attacks, and maybe best of all, her getting her heart broken by her new boyfriend. Best of luck, girly.
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