Els Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 I agree, a guy has to strike me as smart when I talk to him and I've rejected second dates from guys who seemed unintelligent. As a shorter, fatter girl, I have found that getting upset over someone's preferences never does any good, even if it does hurt my feelings sometimes. Indeed. I just find it hilarious when people who insist on their own preferences being justified, ridicule/question the preferences of others.
Hot Carl Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 I prefer dumber women because they are easier to deal with. Smart women catch on to stuff too quickly.
Citizen Erased Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 I prefer dumber women because they are easier to deal with. Smart women catch on to stuff too quickly. *giggles and hair flips* what a cute doggie.
brainygirl Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 Indeed. I just find it hilarious when people who insist on their own preferences being justified, ridicule/question the preferences of others. I think that some people are too rigid on their preferences. I think there are lots of flawed people out there (and on these boards) who are looking for someone perfect to pair up with. But perfect is impossible, so they become bitter and frustrated and angry at the members of the opposite sex who they perceive as being unfair to them.
Hot Carl Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 *giggles and hair flips* what a cute doggie. It's too late for you, silly girl. I already know you're no dummy.
Citizen Erased Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 It's too late for you, silly girl. I already know you're no dummy. I went blonde today, maybe it made me dumber.
SadandConfusedWA Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 I think that some people are too rigid on their preferences. I think there are lots of flawed people out there (and on these boards) who are looking for someone perfect to pair up with. But perfect is impossible, so they become bitter and frustrated and angry at the members of the opposite sex who they perceive as being unfair to them. No, we are not looking for someone "perfect". But I also couldn't date an unintelligent man (in a conventional way). Despite what everybody says, intelligence adds quality to everyday conversation that I simply need to be there. Even if it is general observations and insights about people, situations, trends of behaviour rather than intellectual topics. I got a long e-mail yesterday from a guy on a dating site who is extremly good looking and claims to have a post-grad degree. However, the way he wrote that e-mail, just the construct of sentences, the shorthand he uses ppl (instead of people) and lame jokes turned me off. I haven't responded yet and I got another one calling me a "nasty biatch" and other insults because I haven't replied Good call on my part.
SadandConfusedWA Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 I went blonde today, maybe it made me dumber. Pictures?? I went from blonde to dark brown to now dark bonde, all within a year. REALLY bad for the hair.
Pyro Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 Pictures?? I went from blonde to dark brown to now dark bonde, all within a year. REALLY bad for the hair. I have a picture. Picture goes to highest bidder:p
Citizen Erased Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 I have a picture. Picture goes to highest bidder:p If you want a decent price you need to be showing them far more than my hair.
Pyro Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 If you want a decent price you need to be showing them far more than my hair. my eyes only. I know that we could make a ton of money though.
sb129 Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 I prefer dumber women because they are easier to deal with. Smart women catch on to stuff too quickly. women are mainly stupid but who cares if there hot I am pretty sure that this is the validation the OP was looking for. Only took 9 pages.
brainygirl Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 No, we are not looking for someone "perfect". But I also couldn't date an unintelligent man (in a conventional way). Despite what everybody says, intelligence adds quality to everyday conversation that I simply need to be there. Even if it is general observations and insights about people, situations, trends of behaviour rather than intellectual topics. I got a long e-mail yesterday from a guy on a dating site who is extremly good looking and claims to have a post-grad degree. However, the way he wrote that e-mail, just the construct of sentences, the shorthand he uses ppl (instead of people) and lame jokes turned me off. I haven't responded yet and I got another one calling me a "nasty biatch" and other insults because I haven't replied Good call on my part. So brains are a requirment for you, that deosn't make it true for everyone. And use of short hand in a casual note shouldn't really be that big a deal. I send emails from my phone all the time that are full of short hand versions of words. And the calling you names because you hadn't responded sounds more like a personality characteristic showing its self than like a matter of brains. My statement was that IN GENERAL it seems like ALL PEOPLE are looking for a very specific definition of their prefect mate (things like intelligence, degree, job, income, fitness, hobby, hair color, build ect) and when they either do not find that person or they find a person that fits that but isn't interested in them, they get offended. You seem very hung up on 1) how great you are and how much work you put into your appearance and 2) unhappy that the men you are interested in aren't interested in you. But you lack the introspection to ask yourself "what if this "I'm so much greater than the rest of you uneducated, stupid, fat slobs" attitude isn't the very thing that turns them off? I mean, how dare you go on and on about how lousy another man's wife is? What business of your is it to examine that relationship? I'm single, partially because I choose to be, but I am aware of my flaws and my gifts. I am aware that some guys want someone to sit around and be pretty and not think too much, I don't go for those guys. I know it does me no good to pursue an ideal that is impossible (or very difficult) to meet and then whine when I am alone.
Author shadowplay Posted June 20, 2010 Author Posted June 20, 2010 My statement was that IN GENERAL it seems like ALL PEOPLE are looking for a very specific .... Aren't these qualifiers contradicting each other?
brainygirl Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 Aren't these qualifiers contradicting each other? In general because I'm sure there are exceptions, and all people because if you look at some of the threads here, ridiculously specific preferences are durn near universal.
SadandConfusedWA Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 So brains are a requirment for you, that deosn't make it true for everyone. And use of short hand in a casual note shouldn't really be that big a deal. I send emails from my phone all the time that are full of short hand versions of words. And the calling you names because you hadn't responded sounds more like a personality characteristic showing its self than like a matter of brains. My statement was that IN GENERAL it seems like ALL PEOPLE are looking for a very specific definition of their prefect mate (things like intelligence, degree, job, income, fitness, hobby, hair color, build ect) and when they either do not find that person or they find a person that fits that but isn't interested in them, they get offended. You seem very hung up on 1) how great you are and how much work you put into your appearance and 2) unhappy that the men you are interested in aren't interested in you. But you lack the introspection to ask yourself "what if this "I'm so much greater than the rest of you uneducated, stupid, fat slobs" attitude isn't the very thing that turns them off? I mean, how dare you go on and on about how lousy another man's wife is? What business of your is it to examine that relationship? I'm single, partially because I choose to be, but I am aware of my flaws and my gifts. I am aware that some guys want someone to sit around and be pretty and not think too much, I don't go for those guys. I know it does me no good to pursue an ideal that is impossible (or very difficult) to meet and then whine when I am alone. Using shorthand in a text is OK (although even that annoys me, but I can live with it), but there is not excuse to consistently use it in a lengthy e-mail. I never said that I am great at all. I am 20lbs away from my ideal weight and I have said many times that there must be something inherently defective about me to make it hard or impossible for men to fall in love with me. Just look at the choice of your user name and mine - what does that tell you? (rhetorical question).
SadandConfusedWA Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 In general because I'm sure there are exceptions, and all people because if you look at some of the threads here, ridiculously specific preferences are durn near universal. Your statement should really read "In general people...".
brainygirl Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 Your statement should really read "In general people...". I will hand in my advanced degrees in the morning . . . . I wonder if I'll get my tuition money back? (BS- Biology, Chemistry, Physical Science, MA- Secondary teaching, MS- Adaptive Special Education)
Ariadne Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 I will hand in my advanced degrees in the morning . . . . I wonder if I'll get my tuition money back? (BS- Biology, Chemistry, Physical Science, MA- Secondary teaching, MS- Adaptive Special Education) That's very impressive.
SadandConfusedWA Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 That's very impressive. Don't really get why brainygirl is attacking me
Citizen Erased Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 That's very impressive. Definitely. I am sure that's why she felt the need to rather arrogantly bring it up.
brainygirl Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 Don't really get why brainygirl is attacking me i don't mean to be mean, but some of the things I've seen you write are very mean spirited and you seem to be set on trying to bring others down. (If I were "only 20 lbs" from my ideal weight I'd be out there celebrating) And its not just the physical issue, you point out how smart you are and dig others' use of language and how thy write and judge them for that. You admit asking someone why they are married to a fat, unintelligent person as though you can't imagine that someone fat or unintelligent is lovable. Don't you see what's wrong with that attitude? Definitely. I am sure that's why she felt the need to rather arrogantly bring it up. Probably because two people felt the need to arrogantly correct my language use . . . . .
SadandConfusedWA Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 i don't mean to be mean, but some of the things I've seen you write are very mean spirited and you seem to be set on trying to bring others down. (If I were "only 20 lbs" from my ideal weight I'd be out there celebrating) And its not just the physical issue, you point out how smart you are and dig others' use of language and how thy write and judge them for that. You admit asking someone why they are married to a fat, unintelligent person as though you can't imagine that someone fat or unintelligent is lovable. Don't you see what's wrong with that attitude? Being 20lbs from my ideal weight is genuinly a big deal for me. Especially since I have been trying hard to lose it and have failed. I am not trying to bring others down, but perhaps I have been so self absorbed in my own problems that I didn't see how the things I write could be affecting others. As for why my co-worker married this woman, it's not that she is "fat and unintelligent" and thus unlovable. It's that there is such a HUGE discrepancy between them. He is cute, extremly fit and smart. Many studies have shown that people tend to gravitate to people of similar attractivness. Of course, small variation is fine, but in this case it makes me wonder. I am looking at it from a scientific prospective rather than an emotional one. I wonder what other qualities she has (that I am perhaps lacking) to over-compensate for this. Something like this is just unusual to see. From personal experience, even with extra 20lbs I can SEE that I am less attractive to men. When I am thinner, they just treat me differently. I am trying to imagine what would happen if I gainied 50lbs. Unfortunately, that's just how this world works.
threebyfate Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 From personal experience, even with extra 20lbs I can SEE that I am less attractive to men. When I am thinner, they just treat me differently. I am trying to imagine what would happen if I gainied 50lbs. Unfortunately, that's just how this world works.I gained 27 lbs while pregnant. Not once did it change H's attraction to me. That's the type of man you should be targeting, rather than superficial men or men in general who treat you better when thinner. As another thought, could it be possible that your perception of good or not good treatment by men is a reflection of how you personally carry yourself when not feeling in top form? I don't know but I think that women worry too much about external male perception. Male approval or disapproval doesn't make the world go round.
Recommended Posts