akeshabelle Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 A quote by Janis Joplin. How true do you think this is in relationships? As some of you know I am going through a bit of a rough time with a somewhat controlling boyfriend at the moment (http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=234676), and I feel like I am constantly compromising myself. So where do YOU draw the line? Do you go against your partners wishes and live life the way you want, or do you compromise yourself? Does it depend on the situation?
Author akeshabelle Posted June 16, 2010 Author Posted June 16, 2010 If you have to go against your partner's requests to live a life that's true to you, then you're with the wrong person (regardless of who may deemed to be correct). Hmmm, I like that.
Adunaphel Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 A quote by Janis Joplin. How true do you think this is in relationships? As some of you know I am going through a bit of a rough time with a somewhat controlling boyfriend at the moment (http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=234676), and I feel like I am constantly compromising myself. So where do YOU draw the line? Do you go against your partners wishes and live life the way you want, or do you compromise yourself? Does it depend on the situation? I believe that once you are in a relationship your partner's wishes and needs should be taken into account. In the situation you described in the other thread, your partner expresses his feelings and his frustration in a way that is very unhealthy and inappropriate. I think he has every right to express his feelings, but he should do it in a *very* different, not-judgemental way, like "I feel unconfortable with you dressing as a pin up girl at the party". My idea of compromise would be: he works on improving communication and expressing his feelings in a healthy, non controlling way; you take his feelings into account and try to understand his point of view. I draw the line when my partner's needs and my own are not compatible - when my partner living life the way he wants would turn me into a very unhappy person.
runner Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 interesting quote, but i think 'compromise' is also an important element to consider in any relationship. but i'll save that line of thought for another thread. as i've said many times, i think it's important to know one's self, know what you want and how to get it; and the lines will draw themselves; and you'll know the difference between transgression and a healthy 'compromise'.
Shakz Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 As much as I admire Janis Joplin as an artist, and believe the quote useful since it is vague enough to be interpreted freely, she might not be the best person from whom to take relationship advice. she was a woman on fire from the day she was born until life flickered out, and I truly think she meant something rather different in the quote.
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