beatingheartbaby Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 was dumped 6 weeks ago by my gf of 5.5 years. we had been fighting, nothing crazy, was always respectful, but we fought about the usual stuff. it was a LDR, she started partying more, hanging out with friends, not talking to me as much as she used to. it was nothing threatening, but i definetely felt that for the last few months of the relationship i was more in love than she was. but she always loved me, so i cant complain. so when i came down to visit her at her school (in her last year of college) and she dumped me citing "lost the fire" "needs time and space" "really confused" "things just werent working out" "needs to find herself". i was absolutely heartbroken and confused, because we had been on a hot streak, no fights no confrontation for about a month. took a trip together, had a blast...etc. so i freaked out for a couple days, called her and begged, the usual. then i tried being friendly, told her im here for her, but will give her space, call if she needs to talk. and since then...i havent talked to her. its been about 5 weeks NC. im fine. the dreams are killer, thats the only thing. sometimes i wake up after dreaming about her and feel like im back to square one. but ive completely transformed my body. been talking to other girls, bought some new nice clothes. im excited about being single. i was scared at first...i mean almost 6 years is a long time...but the fear is gone, and im ready to play the field a little bit. but i often scratch my head looking back on the break up. it was so random, and its just incredible to me that after almost 6 years of being together...it seems as if she just one day said.."im done" and that was it. havent heard from her since. so cold. i dont want her back, i just wish i had the answers, and i could know what happened... so i write this to 1. vent, and 2. find some insight on this whole deal. ladies...how do you just pick up and leave...with such simplicity? i could understand if i was abusive, or cheated...but i was damn good...haha. its just weird.
GrayClouds Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 Well she was pulling away a long time before you knew it. You guys were young when you got together, people go through a good deal of changes during those years. Being her last year she probalbly feels like it is her last chance to experience collage life as a single, like she been missing out on something. But the bottom line, what ever is going through her mind at this point does not matter. What matters now is what you going to do to help you move out, how your going to fill up your life, how your going to use this time to become a better you. Sorry about your loss.
aerogurl87 Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 This is completely off topic, but OP did you get your name from a song by Head Automatica?
StarrySkyBlue Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 Sometimes people are at different points in their lives and simply want different things for the moment. It's sad that good will alone does not make a relationship work. Yes, you are still young, and people change a lot when they are young. Maybe at 5-something years, your girlfriend was feeling caged -- you fell in love when you were teens, and after such a long period of time, she might feel that there is this aspect of her -- the part of herself that is tied to you and your relationship -- that is being kept back from being able to grow and change with the rest of her. It's most likely that the long-distance thing didn't help either. You could not be there to witness the changes and grow together as a couple. You guys did nothing wrong. I guess it's best for you to be apart for a little, learn more about yourselves, and get comfortable with being single again. Who knows, you might eventually decide you were right for each other after all and decide to get back together sometime in the future! I think you handled the situation very well and wish you all the best!
Author beatingheartbaby Posted June 16, 2010 Author Posted June 16, 2010 i appreciate the answers. very insightful, and its nice to hear something besides..."theres someone else dude, shes with some other guy" yes, it is by head automatica. great song.
Arabella Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 To you, it may seem like she just up and left you... but most likely, it was not like that. Most times a woman ends a relationship, chances are she's been detaching for a long time and slowly coming to terms with the decision to leave. When she finally walks away, it may come across as cold and sudden to the guy, but to her, the process began much sooner. It doesn't mean she doesn't love you, but by the sounds of it, it seems like she thinks the relationship has run its course. Let her go, and focus on you. There's nothing you can do at this point unless she contacts you first. Arabella
Ilovecake Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 I imagine it's hard to be in college and in a long term relationship. All your friends are either single and playing the field of have their significant others there to actually touch and be near. LTRs are almost impossible but at that age I wouldn't even dream about it. I would feel imprisoned by someone who's not even there. I imagine that is what happened with you two. People grow apart especially when they don't really get to participate in each other’s lives. She's probably been thinking about this for a while, maybe met someone and just decided this is it. It was sudden for you but you mentioning that she's been distant for a while makes me think she made the decision a while back and was just waiting for the right time to tell you.
Author beatingheartbaby Posted June 16, 2010 Author Posted June 16, 2010 Yeah. She told me she loves me when she broke up with me and felt she was making a huge mistake. Which added to more confusion. She contacted me after a week of no contact, A text saying hey. I replied with a nice I gotta go now but I hope you are well. And she said talk to you soon hopefully...that was a month ago. Yeah. Ldr for 5 years was gnarly. It's messed up because I graduated a year before her. So I have no single college experience. But she now does. Selfish. Haha. Talking about marriage and moving in ogether one week...the next not talking whatsoever. Cold.
GrayClouds Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 Yeah. She told me she loves me when she broke up with me and felt she was making a huge mistake. Which added to more confusion. She contacted me after a week of no contact, A text saying hey. I replied with a nice I gotta go now but I hope you are well. And she said talk to you soon hopefully...that was a month ago. Yeah. Ldr for 5 years was gnarly. It's messed up because I graduated a year before her. So I have no single college experience. But she now does. Selfish. Haha. Talking about marriage and moving in ogether one week...the next not talking whatsoever. Cold. You did not mess up, you got the experience you wanted, and at the time it was good. Now you have another choice, how are you going to spend your after college experience? I would suggest working hard at healing, moving on and learning to enjoy being single. The more effort you put to doing that the better you will be. Good Luck.
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