MrNate Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 A random woman once told me "i'd tap that ass!" as I walked by her, not that I could blame her for saying that. Does that fit into this discussion anywhere?
kiss_andmakeup Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 A random woman once told me "i'd tap that ass!" as I walked by her, not that I could blame her for saying that. Does that fit into this discussion anywhere? LOL MrNate, no, it doesn't, but you're forgiven 'cause it made me laugh. And wow, I've never felt "offended" that someone complimented me. I've been surprised if I'm out in my scrubbies with my hair in a ponytail and no makeup on and someone compliments me, but I can't imagine being offended or pissed off by it. Also note that there is a difference between giving a compliment and hitting on someone. There is a small family-owned drugstore by my apartment that I get my prescription filled at and the pharmacist always compliments me on my hair or just that I look pretty today. He isn't trying to pick me up, hell he could even be gay or married for all I know, he's just being friendly. I'd never be offended by that.
Woggle Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 Yes. I believe it does mean this. If a woman feels like she is not at her best, and a man hits on her, she will wonder what his ulterior motive is, if he just sees her as an easy target. She can not fathom that without her war paint, the guy might honestly just like what he sees. Most women know/think they look better when they got the right jeans on, the right make-up..yada yada yada. Now me? I've bit hit on at my gym and there I really am at my worse because I got gym shirts on (not the cute little yoga outfits you see some women in) and am pretty sweaty. But I was flattered. And I thought, well if he likes me now wait until he sees me on a date! It's only going to get better. I really think more women should take this approach. I find in general though women have a hard time accepting compliments either out of person feelings of unworthiness of it, or not wanting to come off as arrogant. As for being approached while I am doing errands, I think this is a great time for a guy to approach to be honest. It's natural. You're both looking at tomoates and he comments on the high price and you get to talking. Do I think it's creepy that he noticed me? No. It's not like he followed me there. He is a human being and he noticed me there, and took the time to make contact. Not creepy in my book. Better then online dating if you ask me. In this regard, I think women can be a little tough on the guys complaining when and where a man might hit on them. He only has one chance to do it. Why not while your physically out in the real world instead of at a bar or sitting on your computer. I did not expect this comment from you at all. I have heard women complain that men never even notice them but then these same women complain when a man even smiles at them sp who knows what the hell they are thinking. I think with some women men are wrong simply for breathing. Add to that the fact that many women think a man is always supposed to make the first move and how is anybody supposed to meet anybody?
MrNate Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 (edited) I did not expect this comment from you at all. I have heard women complain that men never even notice them but then these same women complain when a man even smiles at them sp who knows what the hell they are thinking. I think with some women men are wrong simply for breathing. Add to that the fact that many women think a man is always supposed to make the first move and how is anybody supposed to meet anybody? Yep. This is why I say throw out the rule book! Heck, I don't mind being the aggressor at all. It keeps life rather interesting. Because when it's all said and done, straight women like doing the nasty with men. Edited June 16, 2010 by MrNate
thegoodlife Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 I used to be really bad at accepting compliments from anyone. Whether it was coming from a family members, a friend, a coworker, someone I'm dating, or a random stranger- I did not believe them whatsoever. I've never really worn much makeup or anything like that, so it was never an issue of I wasn't looking my best at the time of the compliment. For me, even on my self-described "good days" I still didn't look good, period. I took compliments as some kind of joke, or assumed they were just trying to be nice, but they were never sincere. I ended up dating someone with very low self esteem who did the same thing, and it drove me CRAZY. I can't count how many times I asked him to just smile and say thank you, or say nothing at all but just accept it. Being on the other end of it really made me realize a lot about myself and I quickly changed my attitude when it came to compliments. My self esteem has improved and that's helped a lot, but even on days when I'm not feelin it- I still accept them.
Jersey Shortie Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 I did not expect this comment from you at all. But I did expect this from you. Why can't you just say "good advice JS". Instead of a negative wrapped up in a "compliment".
pantherj Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 I remember reading a post on here that said something like "attractive girls from the ages of 18-30 are like mini-celebrities." Although I don't entirely agree with that statement, it does seem to have some truth. I guess that would make average guys their paparazzi. Celebrity: "I went to ___ in a dumpy outfit, and the paparazzi were there taking my picture. It sucked." Attractive 18-30 woman: "I went to ___ in a dumpy outfit, and guys were there hitting on me. It sucked."
USMCHokie Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 I used to be really bad at accepting compliments from anyone. Whether it was coming from a family members, a friend, a coworker, someone I'm dating, or a random stranger- I did not believe them whatsoever. I was the same way. And the inability of one, regardless of gender, to accept compliments graciously reflects a deeper insecurity, often over the exact thing that was complimented. Truly confident individuals take compliments in stride. It's irrelevant whether the complimenter is trying to pick up the complimentee or has some other ulterior motive. The best way to receive a compliment? A simple "thank you." It works for me every time. It shows that I've acknowledged them and am appreciative of their compliment. Maybe it's different when women compliment guys, but I don't really ever take it as a pickup attempt. Hell, I was playing golf with a random couple last weekend, and the woman told me out of nowhere that I had perfect arms... I laughed and thanked her for the comment. She laughed and said 'you're welcome.' And that was that. Why do people have to make such a big deal over trivial stuff like that?
Woggle Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 But I did expect this from you. Why can't you just say "good advice JS". Instead of a negative wrapped up in a "compliment". I don't mean it as a negative. I just expected something different and I am suprised by your stance on this issue.
Jersey Shortie Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 Pay no attention to the (wo)man behind the curtain Woogle. LS gives a very limited perception of people so you shouldn't be too surprised. I learned the same lesson about compliments as USMC. I use to blow them off when someone said something complimentary or twisted it into a negative. And then I noticed my mom would do the same thing and I didn't like that she did that to herself. Now I just say "thank-you" and appreicate that someone noticed something about me worthy of a compliment. And it's why when I compliment others I always make sure I mean it. But I can usually find something worth complimenting in anyone.
AD1980 Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 This is why i dont approach women...So many different signals..They want men to be the approachers and complain when we dont but only on their specific terms Ladies i love you but you know you're nuts:laugh:
harmfulsweetz Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 This is why i dont approach women...So many different signals..They want men to be the approachers and complain when we dont but only on their specific terms Ladies i love you but you know you're nuts:laugh: We're not here to make this easy for you! JS, good answer. It all boils down to a comfort thing, sure, it's nice that a guy notices you, but when you don't look your best, it's easy to wonder what the motive is. I have a tendency to think they are taking the pi$$ out of me. Just the way I am.
Woggle Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 We're not here to make this easy for you! . True but don't get mad when some men decide it is not worth the drama.
harmfulsweetz Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 True but don't get mad when some men decide it is not worth the drama. I'm not mad about that, their choice.
shadowplay Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 pet peeve, but replace "that" with "who" in your thread title.
ecto-1 Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 As for being approached while I am doing errands, I think this is a great time for a guy to approach to be honest. It's natural. You're both looking at tomoates and he comments on the high price and you get to talking. Do I think it's creepy that he noticed me? No. It's not like he followed me there. He is a human being and he noticed me there, and took the time to make contact. Not creepy in my book. Better then online dating if you ask me. That's good, unfortunately, a lot of women might find this creepy, the whole "approach her in public" thing. I have heard women saying, "I'm in the store to do my thing and leave, not to get 'hit on'". It's sad that they have this attitude, and is probably attributed to their reason for being single...and then run home and sign onto a dating site, because I have heard some admit they prefer online dating over public encounters, because that way you can pick and choose and delete who you want to talk to. In public you're "stuck" talking to the guy.
USMCHokie Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 It all boils down to a comfort thing, sure, it's nice that a guy notices you, but when you don't look your best, it's easy to wonder what the motive is. I have a tendency to think they are taking the pi$$ out of me. Just the way I am. But must there always be a motive associated with the compliment...? Or do you place a motive on the compliment only when you're not looking your best...?
harmfulsweetz Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 But must there always be a motive associated with the compliment...? Or do you place a motive on the compliment only when you're not looking your best...? I don't know, I suppose when I'm looking my best, I may think sure, it's great he's noticed I've made an effort and that, and I may even be able to concede I do look nice or whatever, but if I know I'm not looking my best, I have a tendency to wonder if he's just taking the pi$$.
USMCHokie Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 I don't know, I suppose when I'm looking my best, I may think sure, it's great he's noticed I've made an effort and that, and I may even be able to concede I do look nice or whatever, but if I know I'm not looking my best, I have a tendency to wonder if he's just taking the pi$$. But you have to realize that even when you're not looking "your best," you're still looking pretty awesome! And you should always feel like that about yourself.
PJKino Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 lol at this "motive" stuff.. Even if the guy does have *gasp* sleeping with you in mind somewhere in his head.. that still must mean hes attracted to you...Men dont approach women we find ugly and tell them their pretty to sleep with them.. I know u ladies want us to think your not only pretty but the most smart funny interesting person in the world just by looking at you but like all humans the physical is the first thing we see..
Author Serenitynow Posted June 16, 2010 Author Posted June 16, 2010 See, now this thread got rockin the way I hoped. Do we all see (men & women ) how different we view this subject ? A few of you have thrown out exactly what I'm thinking : WHEN & WHERE is the correct time to meet a girl then ? Most of the time if a girl is all gussied up, that means shes out on the town for the night. And what kind of guys are lurking around to hit on you ? Usually the jerks trying to get in your pants at bars/clubs. So with that in mind, during the day when you have your casual outfit on, you assume the male noticing you, has the same intention as the guy at the club. If most women prefer the guy to initiate, HOW is the guy supposed to know when its the right time to approach you ? Do anyone females see how contradictory this situation is ? I'm not mad, not bashing, just simply talking about it.
harmfulsweetz Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 But you have to realize that even when you're not looking "your best," you're still looking pretty awesome! And you should always feel like that about yourself. If only it were that simple :) I suppose it's always nice to be complimented even when you're not expecting it-better when you're not expecting it I guess. the tattoos btw.
USMCHokie Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 If only it were that simple :) Life really is as simple as you make it... I suppose it's always nice to be complimented even when you're not expecting it-better when you're not expecting it I guess. Compliments are always better when you're not expecting them. When you're downtown at the club on a Saturday night, you'd expect them coming from creepers and dudes who are just looking to get laid. But when you're out and about on a Sunday afternoon and get a random nice compliment from a stranger, hey, it should feel good! the tattoos btw. Thanks! :love:
marsle85 Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 I think it's a defense mechanism. A woman is supposed to be humble, or else she's high maintenance or too girly. This idea repulses many women because they feel if they are too attention-hungry, they are baseless and materialistic. This has caused how women perceive compliments. Oddly enough, I think women are the first to give compliments out. I think it's related to hyperfeminism, and desire to be an aberration from the "traditional lady". Similarly, I hypothesize that these women also would have more trouble having a man pay for dinner, etc. Personally, I complement many and I give very often. So, I have little problem receiving. I like, and appreciate a healthy exchange.
PJKino Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 I think it's a defense mechanism. A woman is supposed to be humble, or else she's high maintenance or too girly. This idea repulses many women because they feel if they are too attention-hungry, they are baseless and materialistic. This has caused how women perceive compliments. Oddly enough, I think women are the first to give compliments out. I think it's related to hyperfeminism, and desire to be an aberration from the "traditional lady". Similarly, I hypothesize that these women also would have more trouble having a man pay for dinner, etc. Personally, I complement many and I give very often. So, I have little problem receiving. I like, and appreciate a healthy exchange. Jesus you women overanalyze things:D...Say thank you and move the f on with life..
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