Who Brings Condoms to The Affair?

[Spark1111]

Hmmm... I have a thought here. You work together and it is escalating into a full-blown emotional affair.

 

Now, you have to travel out of town for a work related meeting. It starts to storm and the 3-hour drive would be treacherous.

 

There's been dinner and drinking and now a storm to contend with. It's the perfect storm, so to speak.

 

Now you have to call home, tell them it's dangerous to drive home, and get a hotel room.

 

It's getting hot and heavy, but certainly no drug store is open. What to do?

 

She, the OW, brings the condoms.

 

WTH????

 

So, this isn't an oops, we never meant for this to happen, sorry we caused you pain.

 

This, at least on some level, on someone's part, is not an oops to me.

 

I have many single friends. They do not carry condoms on them unless they are sexually active or intending to be. Get my drift?

 

Any thoughts?

[Corporate]

Hmmm... I have a thought here. You work together and it is escalating into a full-blown emotional affair.

 

Now, you have to travel out of town for a work related meeting. It starts to storm and the 3-hour drive would be treacherous.

 

There's been dinner and drinking and now a storm to contend with. It's the perfect storm, so to speak.

 

Now you have to call home, tell them it's dangerous to drive home, and get a hotel room.

 

It's getting hot and heavy, but certainly no drug store is open. What to do?

 

She, the OW, brings the condoms.

 

WTH????

 

So, this isn't an oops, we never meant for this to happen, sorry we caused you pain.

 

This, at least on some level, on someone's part, is not an oops to me.

 

I have many single friends. They do not carry condoms on them unless they are sexually active or intending to be. Get my drift?

 

Any thoughts?

 

There are very few "ooops," unles both parties are drunk. It's usually weeks/months of heavy flirting, countless emails and phone calls that lead to the act, which was talked about, fantasized over and over again, and thus planned in advanced.

[MizFit]

Hmmm... I have a thought here. You work together and it is escalating into a full-blown emotional affair.

 

Now, you have to travel out of town for a work related meeting. It starts to storm and the 3-hour drive would be treacherous.

 

There's been dinner and drinking and now a storm to contend with. It's the perfect storm, so to speak.

 

Now you have to call home, tell them it's dangerous to drive home, and get a hotel room.

 

It's getting hot and heavy, but certainly no drug store is open. What to do?

 

She, the OW, brings the condoms.

 

WTH????

 

So, this isn't an oops, we never meant for this to happen, sorry we caused you pain.

 

This, at least on some level, on someone's part, is not an oops to me.

 

I have many single friends. They do not carry condoms on them unless they are sexually active or intending to be. Get my drift?

 

Any thoughts?

 

I carry condoms in my make up case. My best friend has a keyring that looks quite normal, but holds 2 of a certain brand. A woman I work with carries several with her as well. We are all in our mid to late 40s and have done this for quite some time...I would dare say it's unusual for single women to not have them. The oddest thing is that none of has had a ONS or sex with someone who wasn't considered a 'partner' since mid 20s...in all fairness there are health fairs all over the place and the doctor offices give them out as well.

 

Another woman I am an acquaintance with carries them with her in case any of her friends end up not having them. Teenagers and up to young adults are given them at schools and almost any time they turn around.

 

Carrying condoms here is very much the norm.

[Corporate]

I carry condoms in my make up case. My best friend has a keyring that looks quite normal, but holds 2 of a certain brand. A woman I work with carries several with her as well. We are all in our mid to late 40s and have done this for quite some time...I would dare say it's unusual for single women to not have them. The oddest thing is that none of has had a ONS or sex with someone who wasn't considered a 'partner' since mid 20s...in all fairness there are health fairs all over the place and the doctor offices give them out as well.

 

Very Doubtful.

[MizFit]

Very Doubtful.

 

You're welcome to your viewpoint...since you have no idea what their relationships have been nor what type of people they are you have no right to judge, but feel free anyway.

[Feelin Frisky]

What's the problem? Maybe she wanted to ball you and make sure she's protected whether you planned it or not. Sounds sensible and normal to me.

[Snowflower]

Hmmm... I have a thought here. You work together and it is escalating into a full-blown emotional affair.

 

Now, you have to travel out of town for a work related meeting. It starts to storm and the 3-hour drive would be treacherous.

 

There's been dinner and drinking and now a storm to contend with. It's the perfect storm, so to speak.

 

Now you have to call home, tell them it's dangerous to drive home, and get a hotel room.

 

It's getting hot and heavy, but certainly no drug store is open. What to do?

 

She, the OW, brings the condoms.

 

WTH????

 

So, this isn't an oops, we never meant for this to happen, sorry we caused you pain.

 

This, at least on some level, on someone's part, is not an oops to me.

 

I have many single friends. They do not carry condoms on them unless they are sexually active or intending to be. Get my drift?

 

Any thoughts?

 

Just curious, is this a hypothetical or was it based on a real situation that transpired for someone?

 

In any event someone on the verge of an affair, whether it is the MP or the OP who "conveniently" carries condoms with them...well, that probably isn't completely accidental!

[Spark1111]

Well, I do have a girlfriend who KNEW in advance she intended to seduce this man one evening and went out and purchased them.

 

Generally, in my experience, if the relationship is starting to turn more sexual, most women make an appointment for real birth control.

 

Depending if he's clean, they might also insist on a barrier method, like a condom.

 

My personal experience? Most men dislike them, and especially in the heat of the moment, have to have wrapping insisted upon.

 

My son? Better use them or else.....

 

So I view carrying them as either a) I am premeditating a sexual act tonight or b) and I am sexually active, whether it be ONS, or whatever may turn up by the end of the evening.

 

But I can't see the oops, we made a mistake version.

[Spark1111]

What's the problem? Maybe she wanted to ball you and make sure she's protected whether you planned it or not. Sounds sensible and normal to me.

 

Yes, very sensible and very normal, and frankly, I am grateful for the foresight of protection. Lots of nasty STDs out there today.

 

She apparently wanted to ball my husband and came prepared to do so.

 

So no oops, what do we do now that we have lost all control and there is no turning back?

 

How can we claim it just happened? We never meant to hurt you?

[Spark1111]

Just curious, is this a hypothetical or was it based on a real situation that transpired for someone?

 

In any event someone on the verge of an affair, whether it is the MP or the OP who "conveniently" carries condoms with them...well, that probably isn't completely accidental!

 

So agree....not accidental at all.

[translucentsoul]

Yes, very sensible and very normal, and frankly, I am grateful for the foresight of protection. Lots of nasty STDs out there today.

 

She apparently wanted to ball my husband and came prepared to do so.

 

So no oops, what do we do now that we have lost all control and there is no turning back?

 

How can we claim it just happened? We never meant to hurt you?

 

first mistake is assuming a) they were thinking at all, b) thinking about you.

 

when I discovered my exH's long term affair, which he never admitted to, even though I was merely curious as it was postmortem for the marriage, it was painful, until I thought, hey, it isn't like this was meant to be aimed at me. I'm not a part of it.

 

I hope he took condoms to the affair. I've been tested, etc and all is well.

I'm lucky.

[jwi71]

Hmmm... I have a thought here. You work together and it is escalating into a full-blown emotional affair.

 

Now, you have to travel out of town for a work related meeting. It starts to storm and the 3-hour drive would be treacherous.

 

There's been dinner and drinking and now a storm to contend with. It's the perfect storm, so to speak.

 

Now you have to call home, tell them it's dangerous to drive home, and get a hotel room.

 

It's getting hot and heavy, but certainly no drug store is open. What to do?

 

She, the OW, brings the condoms.

 

WTH????

 

So, this isn't an oops, we never meant for this to happen, sorry we caused you pain.

 

This, at least on some level, on someone's part, is not an oops to me.

 

I have many single friends. They do not carry condoms on them unless they are sexually active or intending to be. Get my drift?

 

Any thoughts?

 

I was young once.

And my little circle of friends had this saying concerning condoms:

 

"Its better to have one and not need it than to need it and not have one."

[Feelin Frisky]

Yes, very sensible and very normal, and frankly, I am grateful for the foresight of protection. Lots of nasty STDs out there today.

 

She apparently wanted to ball my husband and came prepared to do so.

 

So no oops, what do we do now that we have lost all control and there is no turning back?

 

How can we claim it just happened? We never meant to hurt you?

 

So solly. I misread you. Make biggy mistake. Say wrong thing. I slap own head to make you feel better. OK?

[Spark1111]

Well, ick. Ew. So many threads giving me the heeby geebies these days.

I guess all I can say is it's a good thing SOMEBODY brought them. I'm amazed at the amount of affairs I read about where safe sex is not practiced.

 

So same scenario, no rubbers? I doubt they would have abstained.

 

On this we agree, and I told him so. I am grateful for barrier protection.

 

I then asked, "Okay, two weeks later after the ONS where you told her how guilty you felt about it, she called you and said, can you help me with my difficult son? And you went there with a toy truck, and you said "Things just got out of hand..." What happened?

 

His repsonse: She had the condoms. She always had the condoms. In retrospect, I felt somewhat set up.

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

No, not set up. Played is more like it. You were definitely palyed. She knew you were one guilt sot, but made sure to make it easier for you,....

 

She had the condoms, so you could feel less guilty.

 

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

[Spark1111]

first mistake is assuming a) they were thinking at all, b) thinking about you.

 

when I discovered my exH's long term affair, which he never admitted to, even though I was merely curious as it was postmortem for the marriage, it was painful, until I thought, hey, it isn't like this was meant to be aimed at me. I'm not a part of it.

 

I hope he took condoms to the affair. I've been tested, etc and all is well.

I'm lucky.

 

You, my friend, are very, very lucky.

 

Small blessings I say. Small blessings.

[Spark1111]

I was young once.

And my little circle of friends had this saying concerning condoms:

 

"Its better to have one and not need it than to need it and not have one."

 

Could NOT agree more, jwi.

 

Were there women among that circle of friends? Did they carry condoms?

 

Just asking......

[Spark1111]

So solly. I misread you. Make biggy mistake. Say wrong thing. I slap own head to make you feel better. OK?

 

Don NOT 2 by 4 yourself. It is the sensible thing to do. Smart, protective. I AM grateful, though the necessary STD testing was STILL mandated by my doctor. (Hugely humiliating, nevertheless.)

 

But, do you know of women who carry condoms to the anticipated first date? Or all the time?

 

Do you know their motives? What is your opinion. Be honest here.

 

Tell me please, from the perspective of a man.....please.

[bittersweet memories]

I carry condoms in my make up case. My best friend has a keyring that looks quite normal, but holds 2 of a certain brand. A woman I work with carries several with her as well. We are all in our mid to late 40s and have done this for quite some time...I would dare say it's unusual for single women to not have them. The oddest thing is that none of has had a ONS or sex with someone who wasn't considered a 'partner' since mid 20s...in all fairness there are health fairs all over the place and the doctor offices give them out as well.

 

Another woman I am an acquaintance with carries them with her in case any of her friends end up not having them. Teenagers and up to young adults are given them at schools and almost any time they turn around.

 

Carrying condoms here is very much the norm.

 

I don't see anything wrong with carrying condoms...better be save than sorry...

[jwi71]

Could NOT agree more, jwi.

 

Were there women among that circle of friends? Did they carry condoms?

 

Just asking......

 

Back then, I had didn't have female friends.

 

I had girls that would sleep with me and everyone else was a clearly a lesbian.

 

But seriously, I DID have female friends. But I never asked if they used condoms. I have no idea to this day. I didn't really ask about the details of their sex life aside from "be careful" - aka use protection.

 

Not sure it helps....

 

In the OP, it seems that a REASONABLE person would conclude that sex was likely and precautions would make sense. Meaning it was deliberate.

[Spark1111]

I'm a little torn on this, Spark. You said he was played, but it's awfully hard to get a condom on a flaccid penis, know what I mean? But she made it easier to not say no. Kinda like putting a whole cheesecake in front of you, then handing you a fork.

 

But, to answer your question, I never did the casual sex thing, so unless I was "seeing" someone, I did not carry condoms. However, my girlfriends that were sexually active, always did have them.

 

Well thank you, jthorne.

 

I think that is my point exactly.

 

Let's call premeditation exactly what it is.

 

And if you know the man is experiencing some huge form of guilt, we can get him over the line by supplying the means to an end. Condoms!

 

If it allowed him to think that s**t just happened, made him more agreeable to the outcome because he is such a noble family guy, well, so be it.

 

I AM NOT saying anything in his defense, far from it. I've got a bead on him, his guilt, and I am just supplying the means to an end we both know is inevitable.

 

If he can find it a little easier to assuage his guilt because he wasn't packing the condoms, so be it.

 

It means, I read him pretty easily and knew if he thought he was swept away in the moment, and I removed the last barrier to his family guy resistance, and I got what I wanted and he got what he wanted with the illusion of being "swept away," well, hell: Didn't we both get what we wanted?

 

Of course we did!

 

And we can feel a little bit better about our deciept!

 

And we did. Making the next time all that much easier under the guise of: We never meant to hurt anyone. Oops, it just happened.

 

We read people, and then we do what is necessary to get what we want. And protect their psyche and delusions. So we can keep getting what we want.

 

Both partners in the affair.

[GreenEyedLady]

She, the OW, brings the condoms.

 

WTH????

 

So, this isn't an oops, we never meant for this to happen, sorry we caused you pain.

 

This, at least on some level, on someone's part, is not an oops to me.

 

I have many single friends. They do not carry condoms on them unless they are sexually active or intending to be. Get my drift?

 

Any thoughts?

 

Spark, when I was a single parent, I always had access to condoms.

 

I was late twenties and early thirties. I have always been extremely paranoid of catching some funky disease so the condoms were a precaution. And I have always had a healthy libido.

 

I didn't have them on me thinking that I would get "lucky" perhaps that night, but I wanted to be able to do what I wanted to do, if I felt like it. Therefore, had availability of condoms. Men are really not good planners. And they are not as paranoid as others of us.

 

In this case, it sounds like it may have been planned or "hoped" for. But I know that there are many single women who want to be as safe as they can be.

 

GEL

[Crazy Magnet]

I've never carried condoms around with me, but open up my night stand and you've hit the mother load! I swear every time you walk into a health clinic these days you can walk out with a bag of condoms. Mine have added up over the years b/c I do the "only sleep with a man who is committed to me and who can show me his clean bill of health on a piece of paper" rule. But if anybody ever needs one, I've got a few hundred sitting around! lol

 

I don't know many men who go around without condoms when they are single and frankly women shouldn't either.

[turnstone]

Don NOT 2 by 4 yourself. It is the sensible thing to do. Smart, protective. I AM grateful, though the necessary STD testing was STILL mandated by my doctor. (Hugely humiliating, nevertheless.)

 

But, do you know of women who carry condoms to the anticipated first date? Or all the time?

 

Do you know their motives? What is your opinion. Be honest here.

 

Tell me please, from the perspective of a man.....please.

 

I carry a condom all the time. Not that I can see myself having sex with a man ever again right at this point in time, but I'm not prepared to put my life on the line in that way ever again.

[lilagirl]

While condoms don`t prove premeditiation, what also needs to be considered are premedittation conversations that may occur. IMO, someone doesn`t buy condoms to have sex with anyone, especially an external to M AP, without "the conversation". Even with condoms, there are still STD risks. I just can`t imagine two adults engaging in sexual activity withouth the conversation of... when was the last time you got tested, have you ever had one...etc

 

And uhhhh, she didn`t have to trick him to come over... If they were in an A... she would be relying on him for emo support... calling her AP would be quite natural... as natual as his guilt disappearing as soon as he saw her. I fail to see the corelation of sex after guilt, being trickery on the OWs end. just my thoughts.

[jennie-jennie]

There are very few "ooops," unles both parties are drunk. It's usually weeks/months of heavy flirting, countless emails and phone calls that lead to the act, which was talked about, fantasized over and over again, and thus planned in advanced.

 

While condoms don`t prove premeditiation, what also needs to be considered are premedittation conversations that may occur. IMO, someone doesn`t buy condoms to have sex with anyone, especially an external to M AP, without "the conversation". Even with condoms, there are still STD risks. I just can`t imagine two adults engaging in sexual activity withouth the conversation of... when was the last time you got tested, have you ever had one...etc

 

And uhhhh, she didn`t have to trick him to come over... If they were in an A... she would be relying on him for emo support... calling her AP would be quite natural... as natual as his guilt disappearing as soon as he saw her. I fail to see the corelation of sex after guilt, being trickery on the OWs end. just my thoughts.

 

This certainly was true for us. We had heavy flirting, emails, phone calls and the premeditation conversation, so our first time certainly was planned, not accidental. But then we did not even use condoms, since our premeditation conversation assured us both of us were STD free and both of us were in long term relationships with STD free partners. We knew each other since earlier in life, so the trust for each other telling the truth was already there since way back.