miikka Posted June 15, 2010 Posted June 15, 2010 Hey all, first post. Will try and keep it short. So there is a girl who works at a coffee shop that I have been crushing on for months. A few weeks ago I built up the courage to ask her out as she always seems to chat with me. So one day she looks sad and tells me she's never been golfing before, I saw this as an opening... The next day I tell her that I'm going to the driving range tonight and she should come, I gave her my card and told her to send me a text if she's interested. A few hours later I get a text, I guess she assumed that I was going to the driving range with someone else (like my coworker). She asks who I'm going with and if its ok if she brings one of her coworkers with her. I was cool with her bringing her friend and told her I was planning on going solo anyways and I would enjoy the company. So about an hour before I get a text from her saying she is tired, and she is really sorry. I took it as a sign of rejection and figured I feel better being rejected rather than not asking. I was a little bummed and figured its time to move on to the next one. So about 2 hrs later she texts me and invites me to a pub downtown with her co worker. Lots of smiley faces in the text, unfortunately I am already having beers with the boys to cheer me up. I tell her I can't make it because I had company and said next time you go for drinks let me know and I'd love to come.... Then I get a text from her coworker, I have chatted with her aswell over the months at the coffee shop. She asks if I'm going to make it, I say I have company and I can't, she then tells me that she's going on vacation for a few weeks and she will she me when she is back... I think I took her bait because I replied and asked where she is going on vacatio n. A few texts back on forth later I think I got the ol switch around. A few visits to the coffee shop over the last few weeks have been conflicting, sometime she is too busy and other times she chats me up and laughs at some of my lame jokes, but she hasn't proposed that we hang out... Should I ask her again, I don't have interest in her coworker but maybe there is some confusion. I mean I asked her and just her to go golfing, and I don't know why she invited her friend. I know I sjould move on to the next one but I really like this girl... Worth a second shot? Any advice?
NicePlay Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 This is fairly weak man. I've read few things more ambiguous. You didn't ask her out. She mentioned golfing and you said "hey I'm going golfing, join me." And then gave her your card. You conveyed no romantic interest or anything other than being friendly. Further, she invites you out and you don't go, and I assume this is "playing it cool" by being busy. Acting like her friend is going to get you nothing more than that. Don't be afraid of getting rejected.
Bogo123 Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 Yeah it was the way you asked her out. It sounded like you were already going with other people. Either she originally wanted to hook u up with her friend or she doesn't feel completely comfortable with you alone. I say feel it out for a bit and then ask again. Doesn't hurt to try and you won't have regrets.
Author miikka Posted June 19, 2010 Author Posted June 19, 2010 (edited) I appreceate the honesty, the reason I didnt come down the bar was not because I was trying to play it cool... at that point I did have friends over and I had indulged in some ganja... not the best first impression to come and meet her all stoned! my game is weak when I smoke weed and I havent had any in a few weeks~ I quit because it was affecting my confidence. Your right... pretty ambigious... I have to step it up... She asked me this week to catch a world cup game with her and some of her co workers on Sunday... I have some issues coming across as Freind Zone material in the past and I dont want to put myself in that position. I have had problems with being too wussy in the past and probably too friendly like you implied. The friend switch thing isnt an issue at this point... I think that was more of an ice breaker thing now. My question now... How do I make sure my intentions are that I want a romantic relationship. At this point it she invited me to watch a soccer game with a bunch of the girls she works with. Its too early to say freind zone but I wouldnt be suprised if I go there again... its happened before. On Thursday she casually asked me if I wanted to watch the game on Sunday and I said I that sonds like a good idea, since then I havent talked or texted her... I was hoping to run into her today to solidify the plans but that never happened. Right now I need some advice... Should I text her and ask her about the soccer game situation. Should I wait for her to text me. If I do text her how do I not act like a friend, You must think Im a sissy but I have been out of the game for awhile and my confidence isnt where it should be yet... "I don't get how she was too tired to golf but contacted you from a bar two hours later???" Yep, me either.. too bad I was intoxicated..... I dont get it either... thats why im asking you people Thanks for your help so far Edited June 19, 2010 by miikka Spelling
D-Lish Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 Maybe she bowed out because she already had plans with her friend and didn't want to do the "3's a crowd" thing. You should have gone down to the pub to see what was going on.
Author miikka Posted June 19, 2010 Author Posted June 19, 2010 Her good friend was leaving the country for a few weeks that night so maybe she didnt want to have a third wheel... That would be the best case scenario... I would rather strike out then fall into the friend zone at this point. I was thinking of sending her a text tomorrow, She speaks spanish so I was going to say something along the lines of: Hey pretty brown eyed girl (In spanish, she is from Mexico), do you have plans to watch the game on sunday yet. (in english of course, my spanish is terrible) I think that gives her the hint that I have a romantic interest, but too cheesy? Anyone?
D-Lish Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 Hey pretty brown eyed girl (In spanish, she is from Mexico), do you have plans to watch the game on sunday yet. (in english of course, my spanish is terrible) Impress her with this: "¿Hey muchacha eyed bastante marrón, usted tiene planes para mirar el juego domingo?"
Author miikka Posted June 26, 2010 Author Posted June 26, 2010 Ok, One week later... so I messaged her something on Sunday morning about the soccer game... I get a reply... Steve, I am so sad right now I broke up with my bf and I need to be with some friends... I ended up going to watch the soccer game with her and a friend, I dropped lots of compliments... some of her friends were around and they were impressed by me... but she is obviously was a little hung up on her ex. The freind switch was in effect... but that was in place before she was single... I made it pretty clear I was not into her freind. So the week goes on and I see her a few times... my friend goes to the coffee shop and she asks about me. I talked to her once during the week and asked how she was holding up. It kind of turned me off that she was in break up mode and I figured maybe at the best she would maybe hit me up in a few months when she is over this break up. So i get a text from her yesterday, Rob Lets go out this weekend, I need some drinks and some talk So i tell her I was thinking about her and we should def go out for some drinks this weekend. I said I am going for drinks with co-works after work on Friday and she should join.... So Friday comes, I texted her and complimented her smile, she says. Lets go out tonight, I can just after 8! Sounds good, I will get in touch with you after 8 and we can figure something out... 7:20... Steve, I think im going to let this for tomorrow, i sooo tired... will call you tomorrow... To play it cool i dont reply... what should I do, move on to the next one?
Diezel Posted June 26, 2010 Posted June 26, 2010 Impress her with this: "¿Hey muchacha eyed bastante marrón, usted tiene planes para mirar el juego domingo?" Remind me to give you some spanish lessons, please. "Hola dulzura de los ojos marrones tan hermosos, tienes planes para ver el partido de futbol el domingo?" You're welcome.
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