rough_diamonds Posted June 15, 2010 Posted June 15, 2010 Alrighty. Basically I've known this guy for about 18 months. We used to be FWB, only saw each other maybe once every 6 weeks but would talk online most nights. He always use to say things online like "marry me", "I love you" and I pretty much crushed him as I always use to pretty much ignored this. I once told him there could never be anything between us because "i've never crushed on you". This hurt him really bad. Anyway, rewind to earlier this year. We hooked up and a few days later I really started to miss him and was sick of just using him. So I told him this and we started to "date" at the end of Feb. Anyway about a month or so into us "seeing each other" I asked him a few questions. Here's a bit of what he said. "u always made me feel like u were too good for me.." "im very interested in u i have been for like a year.. i love spending time with u.. so i wouldnt say testing the waters but when it comes to take it to the next level im sure we will both know" im scared too... what about u i know but me and bec are togehter usually EVERY friday and saturday night... its going to be weird More about this later i think we should keep going how we are atm So at the moment we are still unofficial. We see each other around twice a week which usually involves me sleeping at his house, going to movies, shopping whatever. It was a pretty big deal for me to be introduced to his Dad and brother (im sure the son bringing home a boy would be pretty big for the parents). I would love to have the title of his boyfriend (just for assurance) but he doesn't really want that atm (which is confusing me because he ALWAYS used to want that before we were dating). He says cute things to me like he misses me and likes waking up with me but it's not like we contact each other several times a day or anything. Sometimes there will be a day where we don't here from each other. Going back to the thing about Bec (his best friend) they are almost inseperable and each others only real friends and she tends to get quite jealous of other guys in his life. Kinda co-dependent. Anyways he's happy with how things are going atm I guess the relationship is kinda newish. Should I have anything to worry about? I feel like i'm pouring my heart into this and there is this little doubt that thinks 'maybe he isn't as into me as he was'. I would LOVE to see him more than once/twice a week (as i miss him) but I'm not gonna pressure him anymore than what i have. Should I just go with the flow, chillax and let things happen? Will they happen?
ADF Posted June 15, 2010 Posted June 15, 2010 I wouldn't take this man's statements about being afraid at face value. I doubt that is the real issue for him. You need to understand that for most men, having a GF is NOT the ideal situation. For most men, having a FWB is the ideal situation. In FWB, a man gets everything he would get from having a GF--affection, sex, companionship--but with no strings! Think about it. FWB is the ultimate win/win, have-my-cake-and-eat-it-too situation as far as men are concerned. Once a man has you in a FWB, he's very unlikely to want the relationship to develop into something deeper. Why would he? He's already getting everything he wants--for free!
TouchedByViolet Posted June 15, 2010 Posted June 15, 2010 You need to understand that for most men, having a GF is NOT the ideal situation. For most men, having a FWB is the ideal situation. In FWB, a man gets everything he would get from having a GF--affection, sex, companionship--but with no strings! Think about it. FWB is the ultimate win/win, have-my-cake-and-eat-it-too situation as far as men are concerned. No. FWB doesn't offer affection or companionship. It offers physical satisfaction only. That’s why when someone has feelings in a FWB it hurts. FWB is just for fun. Most guys want a relationship. Your view is a misconception of men.
Author rough_diamonds Posted June 16, 2010 Author Posted June 16, 2010 So you think it's more than fwb then?
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