Author D-Lish Posted June 17, 2010 Author Posted June 17, 2010 This thread is hilarious I just wanted to comment on the whole shirtless-in-the-bathroom pictures: I'll typically ignore them because to me they seem like guys who are mostly interested in themselves. Like, they know they're hot and they can get anyone they want and to me, that's not attractive. Or they're just really insecure. My ex had tons of these types of pictures and all the girls who commented weren't interested in him as a person - just him in bed or showing him off. And he loved the attention, of course Just like, if I were a guy, I'd probably ignore the girls with their boobs out and doing sexy poses and all that. Maybe I'm just too serious for dating sites! I just had no clue how to answer a guy that thought I wasn't responding to his ad because he had posted pics of himself with female friends- like it was somehow "my issue". I felt like saying "dude, the fact that you choose to post pic's of yourself with other women on your dating profile says way more about you for posting them, than it does about me for not responding to you." But it's not worth it to respond.
Author D-Lish Posted June 17, 2010 Author Posted June 17, 2010 I can't stand the constant *ITCH sessions that these women put in their profiles. They have NO shame in showing how bitter and misogynistic they are either. It just REEKS of negativity. It makes me even scared to email her, because I feel she'll just cop an attitude. Actually, one did...but it wasn't in her profile....I emailed her because she had the same kind of obscure cool interests that I do....and I guess I ignored the fact that she was looking for "friends" (yeah right) anyhow, she was too hot to be friends with a guy, but I couldn't get over how much we had in common..we emailed back and forth, and I said, "Well, you sound like my kind of woman" and then she gets pissy with me and says, "Um....you have that you're looking to 'date', im only here for friends" ANd I go, "Oh, well, you know how that can change" and she goes, "NO I'm not looking to sleep with you!!!!!!" And I was thinking "Where'd she get dating from sex??" And I clarified it, and she said, "I wont hold hands with you, kiss you or even let you touch me!!" Then I said, "Woah, you ever consider women then?" LOL and she got peeved and left...figured if she was going to cop an attitude, I'd give it right back. But seriously all I see is this......"I want I want I want I want" or "Me me me me me" or "I'm tired of guys that only one thing" boo hoo wah wah! At the end of the profile, it makes you want to reach the screen and slap the woman!! Or "All I get emails are from short guys or guys who aren't 6 feet tall!!" Or "If you're short, don't email me" or I saw one that said, "You must be 6 feet tall to get on this ride!!" Some of these "Must Haves" are so shallow it's pathetic, like "Must ride Harleys" or "Must not have hair on his butt" or something. LOL Guys do this too- a lot. They post what they don't want. And that's fine- but negativity comes across as bitter. The profile that frustrated me enough to write this thread was a guy that posted pics of himself with tons of females, but in the body of his essay, he stated that he hated drama??? Did he see the irony in his profile?
skydiveaddict Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 (edited) Guys do this too- a lot. They post what they don't want. And that's fine- but negativity comes across as bitter. The profile that frustrated me enough to write this thread was a guy that posted pics of himself with tons of females, but in the body of his essay, he stated that he hated drama??? Did he see the irony in his profile? he's probably not a skydiver But then I detest on line dating anyway. But yes , I see the irony in his profile. I've found that on line dating is a lie. People claim to be someone their not Edited June 17, 2010 by skydiveaddict
Ihavenoidea Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 I get messages from women that say this: "Hello" "How are you?" "I like your dog" Wow all those messages just inspire me to write back ASAP. I think women struggle just as much as guys.
Author D-Lish Posted June 17, 2010 Author Posted June 17, 2010 I get messages from women that say this: "Hello" "How are you?" "I like your dog" Wow all those messages just inspire me to write back ASAP. I think women struggle just as much as guys.\ Or they have down syndrome?
Ihavenoidea Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 \ Or they have down syndrome? LMAO, maybe, maybe. Too bad I only attract down syndrome girls haha
Author D-Lish Posted June 17, 2010 Author Posted June 17, 2010 LMAO, maybe, maybe. Too bad I only attract down syndrome girls haha It's alright- I seem to attract the same my friend:lmao:
tincanman99 Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 (edited) I hate to say this but women's profiles are no better. I regularly see women with pictures of them holding babies. To a guy the first thing that he thinks is that you want to have kids immediately. Or the ones that say they dont like going to bars and every picture is of them in a bar. The best are the ones that pictures of their dogs and cats. Um, thats nice that you have pets but... Any lectures about men being pigs, how you are saving sex for marriage, dont like players, dont like games means you have TONS of experience with this. The best of all are the ones with high $ income requirements. Must make over 6 figures. Edited June 17, 2010 by tincanman99
WintersNightTraveler Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 I read that same article on OKCupid...but I also read a couple of epic LS threads about what women really thought of guys who posted shirtless pics on their online dating profiles...and I know LS can hardly be called an accurate representation of society, but I have serious doubts as to the effectiveness of the male shirtless pic for online dating... It seems all that it would do is repel the good women and attract the bad ones...but that is merely my speculation... LOL please don't take this the wrong way, as I know this isn't a dating site... but your avatar is shirtless! So it's kind of a hilarious repsonse for me... The gentleman doth protest too much, methinks! The numerical analysis that OKC posts is actually quite good in most cases and that's pretty strong evidence for me. They also didn't tout shirtless pics as some cure-all, they seemed to indicate it was a modest, but still significant trend in the numbers. I think some of the disagreement can be chalked up to misunderstanding. Many people in this thread are equating "shirtless pic" with "complete D-bag" profile. There is definitely a middle ground. A decent well written profile with a couple of pics like that. For instance, I would bet a lot of money that if USMCHokie had a dating profile which was tasteful and also had a couple of those naughty pics he has in his profile here, it would be a big plus for him on the site. If the whole profile was mirror pics and "r u gurlz ready 4 me!?!?!?" then probably not so much. I initially wrote my best friend's profile on OKC for him (so I know it's not terribly written or drastically different than mine). He's built a lot like hokie here, and is a police officer, and one of his pics was a body shot. He meets a pretty good amount of women (not just crazies) through that site, and I'm sure his looks are a part of it. As far as "repel the good ones"... that seems like a weird statement to me. Why can't good women also like attractive guys with good bodies and also like pretty pictures? It seems like quite a sane taste to have... I do agree it would probably also "attract the bad ones". But there are worse problems to have with online dating, as any glance at the dudes-whining-about-online-dating threads will indicate.
deux ex machina Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 Ah, the infamous shirtless pics. Ha. For a class I took, we had to write a paper - I chose online dating (a specific aspect of it). The upshot was that in order to write it, I signed up for various dating sites, one of which was an adult hookup site. There was some overlap...I ended up recognizing some of the men, across sites. On POF, for example, they would claim to want a serious relationship. Yet they were also on the hookup site looking for one night stands at the same time. They'd use the same shirtless picture for each site. Ever since that experience, I have negative associations about them in a dating context. To assess fitness, or as personal photos, I like them (I love photos) - so not a problem there at all. If I see them in an online dating context though, just no.
WintersNightTraveler Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 I get messages from women that say this: "Hello" "How are you?" "I like your dog" Wow all those messages just inspire me to write back ASAP. I think women struggle just as much as guys. Or they have down syndrome? That cracked me up... Most of the messages I get are like this, I think women are a bit lazier about what they write online because it's so much easier for them to get messages and responses than men. They were usually from crappy profiles anyway. I'm not sure getting those 5 page long rambling first messages that I hear women often get is any better though!
Author D-Lish Posted June 17, 2010 Author Posted June 17, 2010 That cracked me up... Most of the messages I get are like this, I think women are a bit lazier about what they write online because it's so much easier for them to get messages and responses than men. They were usually from crappy profiles anyway. I'm not sure getting those 5 page long rambling first messages that I hear women often get is any better though! In my history of on-line dating I have never reached out once. 5 Years maybe- and I've never sent a message to a guy first...
WintersNightTraveler Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 In my history of on-line dating I have never reached out once. 5 Years maybe- and I've never sent a message to a guy first... How has your experience been from it? Have you met many guys you really liked or thought were great guys? Meet a lot of frogs? Genuinely curious. I do understand the dynamic completely, just that another thread made me wonder if some real catches (women) were missing out because there were innundated with crap messages from lamers and spent time on that rather than just saying hello to some guy who had something going on.
USMCHokie Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 LOL please don't take this the wrong way, as I know this isn't a dating site... but your avatar is shirtless! So it's kind of a hilarious repsonse for me... The gentleman doth protest too much, methinks! Hahah, no worries. I think I'll change it back now! The numerical analysis that OKC posts is actually quite good in most cases and that's pretty strong evidence for me. They also didn't tout shirtless pics as some cure-all, they seemed to indicate it was a modest, but still significant trend in the numbers. I think some of the disagreement can be chalked up to misunderstanding. Many people in this thread are equating "shirtless pic" with "complete D-bag" profile. There is definitely a middle ground. A decent well written profile with a couple of pics like that. For instance, I would bet a lot of money that if USMCHokie had a dating profile which was tasteful and also had a couple of those naughty pics he has in his profile here, it would be a big plus for him on the site. If the whole profile was mirror pics and "r u gurlz ready 4 me!?!?!?" then probably not so much. Right, and it's this association that places even the good catches in with the douchebag crowd simply by using a shirtless picture. It's the power of stereotyping in today's society...and I'm simply not convinced that the good guys can overcome that stereotype...and I hate to give away all my secrets right off the bat on the online dating site...it's nice to surprise the girl... I initially wrote my best friend's profile on OKC for him (so I know it's not terribly written or drastically different than mine). He's built a lot like hokie here, and is a police officer, and one of his pics was a body shot. He meets a pretty good amount of women (not just crazies) through that site, and I'm sure his looks are a part of it. As far as "repel the good ones"... that seems like a weird statement to me. Why can't good women also like attractive guys with good bodies and also like pretty pictures? It seems like quite a sane taste to have... I do agree it would probably also "attract the bad ones". But there are worse problems to have with online dating, as any glance at the dudes-whining-about-online-dating threads will indicate. A while back I was going to perform an experiment with the online dating sites and see if I'd see any appreciable difference using a shirtless pic and then a normal pic as my primary picture for the same profile...then I decided to take it kind of seriously and never got around to it...so the jury is still out...
Shakz Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 For a class I took, we had to write a paper - I chose online dating (a specific aspect of it). The upshot was that in order to write it, I signed up for various dating sites, one of which was an adult hookup site. There was some overlap...I ended up recognizing some of the men, across sites. Don't these sites cost $? You must be a very dedicated student.
deux ex machina Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 Don't these sites cost $? You must be a very dedicated student. I only went to the free ones.
tigressA Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 In my history of on-line dating I have never reached out once. 5 Years maybe- and I've never sent a message to a guy first... You really should try it one of these days. It gives me an upper hand over all those other chicks out there, that's for sure. An attractive, funny AND assertive woman who knows what (who) she wants? That's a huge turn-on for a lot of guys. I've had dates/hooked up with some hotties who really had their **** together. And I messaged them first.
Shakz Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 Didn't know there were free ones. In that case, I'll start working up a profile. How do you spell cunninglingis? Now where did I put that camera? Oh yeah, in the bathroom.
Author D-Lish Posted June 17, 2010 Author Posted June 17, 2010 You really should try it one of these days. It gives me an upper hand over all those other chicks out there, that's for sure. An attractive, funny AND assertive woman who knows what (who) she wants? That's a huge turn-on for a lot of guys. I've had dates/hooked up with some hotties who really had their **** together. And I messaged them first. Are you still with any of them?
deux ex machina Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 Didn't know there were free ones. In that case, I'll start working up a profile. How do you spell cunninglingis? Now where did I put that camera? Oh yeah, in the bathroom. The one I was on is/was free for women. I think it was run on the same concept as ladies' night in a singles bar.
WintersNightTraveler Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 A while back I was going to perform an experiment with the online dating sites and see if I'd see any appreciable difference using a shirtless pic and then a normal pic as my primary picture for the same profile...then I decided to take it kind of seriously and never got around to it...so the jury is still out... If you ever do that please post results as I'd be very curious to see if your results are like when I did this (post 19 in this thread if you missed it). The real problem with that experiment is that you can't post the two profiles in the same area because so many people will see both profiles. And if you post in different areas, one area may have more users and skew results. Yeah I analyze crap too much. When I move I might reactivate my OKC and go full throttle with the Genghis Khan profile again and see what happens because I no longer have the patience for the regular profile. And also because any woman I would really like has to be able to get such humor, and also think I'm hot. and I hate to give away all my secrets right off the bat on the online dating site...it's nice to surprise the girl... That back tat of yours probably does the trick unless you've got other easily visible ink.
tigressA Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 Are you still with any of them? Yeah, one of them. It's a casual thing though, not looking for anything serious. One of the guys I did message first was pretty crazy about me, we dated for 6 months, he wanted to be exclusive and I didn't, so I ended it.
Author D-Lish Posted June 17, 2010 Author Posted June 17, 2010 How has your experience been from it? Have you met many guys you really liked or thought were great guys? Meet a lot of frogs? Genuinely curious. I do understand the dynamic completely, just that another thread made me wonder if some real catches (women) were missing out because there were innundated with crap messages from lamers and spent time on that rather than just saying hello to some guy who had something going on. I've met maybe 6 possible's in 10-15 messages a day, in about 5 years.
USMCHokie Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 If you ever do that please post results as I'd be very curious to see if your results are like when I did this (post 19 in this thread if you missed it). The real problem with that experiment is that you can't post the two profiles in the same area because so many people will see both profiles. And if you post in different areas, one area may have more users and skew results. If I did do it, it'd be time based...so I'd have my normal picture up for a month or so, then switch it over for the next month to shirtless douche pic... That back tat of yours probably does the trick unless you've got other easily visible ink. All my tattoos are hidden beneath a t-shirt...
tigressA Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 Poor guy... Not exactly. He was aware of the situation and didn't really address his problem with it until more than 4 months in. We were exclusive after that, but still casual--no official label. Then he said he wanted the label, I said I didn't...the end.
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