xRJ85x Posted June 15, 2010 Posted June 15, 2010 Myabe talk with him and express to him your concerns? You haven't been dating that long. This isn't a bad idea, but I don't think it's a good one. This would imply that she would want him to significantly change his ways for her. We all know that isn't right. It's one thing if you try to compromise views, but if she's not feeling a lot of main things about him, then it's not the right couple.
Author summerl0vesyou Posted June 15, 2010 Author Posted June 15, 2010 This isn't a bad idea, but I don't think it's a good one. This would imply that she would want him to significantly change his ways for her. We all know that isn't right. It's one thing if you try to compromise views, but if she's not feeling a lot of main things about him, then it's not the right couple. yeah i dont know how Id go about that anyway. "I dont think were connecting as deep as we should", could stir a really odd conversation, and one that wouldnt be so pleasant probably. If theres something deeper, Im not seeing it. it COULD be there, but I just have this sense that it isnt. Maybe Im not being open enough though. My worry is that Im trying to overanalyze and box things, when really I could be missing out on a bigger picture.
westrock Posted June 15, 2010 Posted June 15, 2010 This would imply that she would want him to significantly change his ways for her. We all know that isn't right. It's one thing if you try to compromise views, but if she's not feeling a lot of main things about him, then it's not the right couple. I agree with what you are saying. I made the suggestion that the OP express her concerns because she said "I dont need to find the top one, just one that connects to me on every level, deeply." I think it's hard to know whether that's the case after only 1 month of dating and increased communication may bring her some clarity.
harmfulsweetz Posted June 15, 2010 Posted June 15, 2010 I've been there, and I left. It hurt because he was so fantastic and should have been exactly what I was looking for/needed/wanted but he wasn't. In the end, it was fairer to cut him loose on both of us. I didn't want to look back in ten years and wonder-what if? It wasn't right, and it wouldn't be right to simply stay because other people did in the same situation and they married the person. How would you feel if he was saying he knew you weren't the one, but would stay with you anyway? Would you not feel cheapened, less of a person, misled? Would you not want the chance to find someone that you do it for and that does it for you? I left because I wanted the opportunity to find the 'one' and not the one for now.
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