Serenitynow Posted June 15, 2010 Posted June 15, 2010 I got divorced almost 2 years ago. Before I met my wife, I had a LTR with another girl. Earlier this year, I decided to see if the previous gf was on facebook. I did not find her on it, but when doing a search on google I found her obituary. I was able to track down some of her friends/acquaintances and found out what happened. Her sister was into drugs, and overdosed. She was so distraught over the loss of her sister, that she spiraled into a deep depression and committed suicide the following year. When I found this out it was like I got hit in the stomach with a bat. I havent seen or talked to her for almost 7 years. So why does it feel like we are still dating, and the cops just came to my door and told me shes gone ? I dont really feel that guilt that people feel when someone commits suicide, its more of just a pain knowing she is gone in general. Knowing shes not out there anymore. I just miss her so much but dont understand why after all this time .
DenverBachelor Posted June 15, 2010 Posted June 15, 2010 I dont really feel that guilt that people feel when someone commits suicide, its more of just a pain knowing she is gone in general. Knowing shes not out there anymore. I just miss her so much but dont understand why after all this time . Man, that is rough. You feel that way because you're human. If I found out my ex died or killed herself, I'd probably cry my eyes out. Probably because of the totality of it all. I don't know. We play this love game here on Earth but death is it. Forget NC, forget all the rules -- death ends it all. Sorry you feel this way but you do so because you're human.
Author Serenitynow Posted June 30, 2010 Author Posted June 30, 2010 The other day, for work related purposes, I found out that I was going to be in the area of the cemetery where she is, which is a little over an hour away from me. I contacted the office to find out where her site is located. It is a cold reality when you get an email back from the cemetery with the persons name, section, and crypt number. So today, on the way back home, I took the slight detour and headed over to the cemetery. I've never gone to in a Mausoleum before. It took me a few minutes but I did find her resting place. I thought the smaller crypts were all children, but then I realized that they are the ones for remains of people that got cremated. Someone had been there recetly and left a flower attached to her name plate. Not sure if I will ever go back but I am glad I have the memory of going today.
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