pureinheart Posted June 15, 2010 Posted June 15, 2010 Let me see ... I hope she spends every minute of every day tormented by the thought of me. I hope she wakes up in the morning and goes to sleep at night thinking of me and what we had. I hope she spends all her time thinking about how badly she treated me at the end. I hope she regrets the end of our relationship for the rest of her miserable life. I hope she burns in hell. Does that answer the question, or am I being too vague? Not in the least (bold) ...Joey, I started laughing...sorry, not being mean to you, it just struck me funny seeing "tormented" in bold... Joey, anger issues:p?
joey66 Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 ww - In the original post you ask if it matters how long you've been out of the A. I say, yes it matters. By her choice, we've been NC (really LC since we have to see each other regularly) for about three and a half months. I'm just now reaching the anger stage. No, I don't literally hope she burns in hell. But I wouldn't be entirely disappointed to learn that she's suffering. Just a wee bit. I hope to make it to indifference one day. pih - No problem. I'm glad you were amused.
pureinheart Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 I hope that she learns to be happy in herself and that, whatever she chooses to do with the rest of her time on this planet she chooses those things which bring her deep, inner peace and fulfillment. - That if she feels any guilt over us, then she uses this to make her a better person and give more of her time to helping others. - That if she feels any sorry and loss over us, then she uses this to bring understanding to those other people who feel sorrow and loss and aren't able to help themselves. - That is she feels love for me, then she uses that love to smile and accept that we got so close but it was just too far, and that this love changes over time to a genuine wish that I am well and happy. I hope she lives long, everyone in her life is healthy and happy and I hope she can find the strength to control any urges she has to contact me until any such time as she is completely single and emotionally centered. This is what I would wish for her life, but I don't spend any time wishing it. I have my own short time on this planet and hope myself, my daughter and friends/family are blessed with health so that we may enjoy the precious time we have. Chris ((((((((((Chris))))))))))
hopeless4u Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 a) That your xAP was recommitting happily to his/her M and had moved on from you/fog had cleared/found it easy in retrospect to own it was just an A? or b) That s/he still pined after you daily, and while content in his/hers/ M (obviously cos he stays), still saw you as the love of his/her life? I am assuming what you hear is the truth - what we all want to hear regardless. or is it just c) Simply that you no longer care. It's about you now. You don't want to hear anything. Does it matter how long you are out of the A? And any WSs reading, what do you assume your xAP wants to hear? None of the above. I would just like him to say sorry for the way he treated me, he always knew I would walk away and I did but what followed by his W and him was just bang out of order and that has been my biggest problem getting over all of this. It seems to me that it wasn't enough for him to feed me BS for 2 yrs about how much he loved me and how he would always be there for me no matter what happened even if it was just as friends and hey presto...when it came to it he threw me under that bus so fast and then reversed and did it again over and over!! I never expected a wonderful friendship but a little respect would of been nice....
Author wheelwright Posted June 17, 2010 Author Posted June 17, 2010 ww - In the original post you ask if it matters how long you've been out of the A. I say, yes it matters. By her choice, we've been NC (really LC since we have to see each other regularly) for about three and a half months. I'm just now reaching the anger stage. No, I don't literally hope she burns in hell. But I wouldn't be entirely disappointed to learn that she's suffering. Just a wee bit. I hope to make it to indifference one day. pih - No problem. I'm glad you were amused. Hi Joey66. Just to say the laughter is not at you but at myself. And I can see how extreme such feelings have been in me at times. Because I can certainly say I have had moments feeling the exact same way you wrote so eloquently. You put the feeling soo well. The question of suffering was joked about on a previous thread a while back. We imagined the WSs back in their Ms just saying 'hey ho' when their xAP crossed their minds. I find this desire to imagine that they suffer, which I always avoided giving full sway to in myself, faintly amusing. It reminds me of the joke about the elephant and the mouse which ends 'yeah, suffer b***h!'. Hope you know it cos I've killed the punch line now! I'm aiming for the version by SP rather than indifference for myself. Thanks to everyone who responded. It's always helpful to see the stages and means of recovery in its various forms.
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