karly7 Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 I am thinking about getting a divorce, but want to do my research first, I could use some advice. Would it be better to get a separation first, this site http://www.yourlegalguide.com/divorce/ says it can "ease the transition into divorce". Or do you feel this just prolongs the painful process, would it be better to get it all done and over with quickly? Any suggestions from people who have gone through separation would help, or any other sites with some helpful information. Thanks
sumdude Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 (edited) Depending on where you live the legal divorce usually has a waiting time. Usually 6 to 12 months post separation. So they kind of go together. There's no path 'straight to divorce'. There's more than one divorce happening really. The Emotional divorce - Whatever has happened in the relationship that causes one or both to want to end it. Usually starts months to years before the next stage. Then finally one makes the decision to end it and the other is mostly in the dark. The Physical divorce (separation) - Announced or not this is when one spouse chooses to move out or to force the other to move out.This is when things really start to get tough. Particularly on the one who didn't want the divorce. This is when the Emotional divorce actually starts for the one being left. This person is usually surprised because the Emotional divorce has been going on for a while but mostly in the leavers heart and mind. Usually the one left still thinks there's hope for reconciliation and if the leavee tries to 'make it easier' by continuing regular contact the leavee still thinks there's hope. The Legal divorce - This is where you deal with finances, child support and custody, visitation etc etc. Usually starts with the separation agreement. Edited June 14, 2010 by sumdude
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