Was it really nothing??

[carlar64]

Help? My husband trained a coworker and I found numerous texts and endless phone calls on his cell phone. He claims she wasn't getting the job. We drove across the country for vacation and while I was getting ready in the morning he would go to the lobby to call her to make sure she was doing "okay." He was asked by higher management to train her and take good care of her. My husband never texts, but I found a text while we were on vacation together where he had texted her happy birthday. They continued to text throughout the evening although I didn't know it. He claims the txts were work related. She sent him a picture text. When I asked about it, it was a picture of the ocean and she said, "I remembered how much you said you liked the water." They were together for a business trip last year and I asked him if they sat together during dinner. at first he said no, then when I told him I would ask his room mate, who I know, he then said yes. I then started to question how much they were together during this trip and he told me he was with Bob, his coworker, 24/7. Then one day shortly after Bob called and I was listening to the conversation, he said to my husband, what is going on. After you called to tell me that your wife might call and I was to tell her we were together 24/7. Needless to say I was livid. In the meantime, I have retrieved sexual emails where she says she never had such thoughts until he was so nervous. he says he was never tested that way. She tells him he was a hell of a salesman and he asks if she as sold. She said what do you think and he say, what I think may be illegal. She says how and he says, the company law. (Is this considered that they admitted to a sexual attraction) I also have found out in the meantime that she was flirting during the whole training (telling my husband how great he is, had a nice behind). The training entailed two weeks together at a hotel and then the business trip the following week. She also wanted to do the training in the "hotel room" because there was no internet access in the lobby and my husband said no, and changed hotels to one that had internet access in the lobby. She also told my husband that she dreamed about the job and he asked where he fit in. She also asked him if she could be his platonic mistress. I NEVER KNEW ANY OF THIS UNTIL I SENSED SOMETHING WAS UP AND CONFRONTED HIM.

 

His reason for her calling my house all hours of the day and night was for training and she was not getting the job. I asked him on several occasions to STOP her and he said I was beiing ridiculous that he was just trying to help her. He's 46 and she's 28. It was when I picked up his cell phone one weekend to check the call log and ask if she called that he told her the next day that ALL CALLS, TEXTS AND EMAILS HAD TO STOP. He said my checking his phone had nothing to do with it. I also asked if she had left voice messages and he said no. I found an email where she asked if he had gotten her voice message!!!

I would tease him throughout the two week training and ask him when his "mistress" would be calling our house. He just blew me off and said I was being ridicioulous. When everything came to a head he told me it was his ego and that she made him feel young and sexy and that she had HIS MIND and nothing else. That he should have stopped the compliments and her flirting, but it didn't mean anything to him. She also told him in the email messages that he better stop being so nice to her or she was going ot fall more in love. Also, he told her that golfing was second, training her was first. There were numerous emails like that. She also mentions about him not blushing in her emails. There was some sort of ongoing message about him not blushing. He says, it's because when she told him he hadd a nice a.s that he didn't blush. She also asked him to take her to Hooters which he knows I don't approve of that place. He took her and said he'd take any of his trainees there if they wanted. I SAID IT WAS INAPPROPRIATE AND TOTALLY DISREGARDED MY FEELINGS. He says he didn't do anythign wrong, that he NEVER TOUCHED HER AND SHE NEVER TOUCHED HIM. HE SAID HE NEVER WANTED HER AND SHE DIDN'T WANT HIM. although the emails have sexual ineuendos.

 

Oh by the way, when this all came to a head, he offered to take a lie detector test. He FAILED two lie detector tests regarding sexual contact with this woman. I was ready to leave the marriage and he said he wanted her to take one because they didn't have sex. She agreed and she passed???????? However from what I understand, she could have thought that whatever happened was not sexual while he did, thus him failing and her passing. Regardless, the investigators indicated he is not being totally honest or he woudl have passed!!!

 

Would any other wife think something "fishy" is going on here? Is this considered an emotional affair?

[Corporate]

 

Oh by the way, when this all came to a head, he offered to take a lie detector test. He FAILED two lie detector tests regarding sexual contact with this woman. I was ready to leave the marriage and he said he wanted her to take one because they didn't have sex. She agreed and she passed???????? However from what I understand, she could have thought that whatever happened was not sexual while he did, thus him failing and her passing. Regardless, the investigators indicated he is not being totally honest or he woudl have passed!!!

 

Would any other wife think something "fishy" is going on here? Is this considered an emotional affair?

 

After all those sexual texting and phone call, AND after they spent a whole week at a hotel, you really think nothing went on? He failed because something happened. She passed because:

 

Did you pick the lie detector who test her? Is it possible that your H paid the lie detector $$$$$ to save himself from a divorce? I am sure it's worth more than $10,000 and I am sure someone will take that money to fake the result.

 

Lie detector test result can be altered if the person taking the test is prepared. She is prepared and coached to think certain way so that she will pass. It is also possible that oral sex took place, but she didn't see it as "sex." Were specific questions asked during the test if there was oral sex, etc.? The fact that he asked his co-worker to lie to you tells you a lot, don't you think?

 

He failed twice, they spend a week together at a hotel and followed by countless sexual emails and texts, do you reall think nothing happened? Seriously.

 

How long have you been married? Do you have any kids.

[LucreziaBorgia]

I didn't even need to hear about the lie detector part to tell you that these two are in a full blown affair. It is time to stop speculating and put your cards on the table:

 

He either cuts off contact with her 100%, or you will divorce him. He has to know that any contact whatsoever will result in a quick and very painful divorce.

[Doing it Since '78]

Sorry Dear, but they are, have been and will continue to stroke. Take control of this situation now, or it will get worse and more bold.

Edited June 14, 2010 by Doing it Since '78