fooled once Posted June 15, 2010 Posted June 15, 2010 I am no troll or have some loveshack twisted plot. this is unfortunately my life and very real. and yes as you all have pointed out so wonderfully i have no backbone, and a complete screwed up idiot. he and i had words yesterday. its like it all just hit me and i was upset and i'm really thinking i had maybe an emotional breakdown or anxiety attack or something. i have told no one this latest news and needed someone to talk to and he basically said he didn't have answers and he didn't want to piss her off bc he doesn't know what she is gonna do and if she decides to have baby he would have no rights till baby born, she could bolt to state over which she has threatened many times and he said if she decided to have baby he did not want her taking it a state away. he apologized to me for some things he said during our last "try" and for creating this mess. i didn't hear from him all next day. i kinda paniced, lamely bc i didn't hear from him for a day after he wore me out on the phone for 2 days straight. i didn't know what was going on. my thinking is clearly screwed up and i told him if he was gonna ignore me and be done with me i wanted to be told and didn't want him to drag it out and lie. (i'm sure i said all wrong things in a hyperventilating basic panic attack of emotions, its like it all just bam hit me in face what has happened) he basically in my time of need told me that i take things and run with it and he didn't have time to listen to all this with everything going on. i told him i was there for him and when i need him he just says whatever and that i saw how it was he got his shoulder to cry on and used me again. he said "you are looking at her being pregnant and us living in separate homes. wake up. we are separated, not dating, nothing, that is reality and that he has a duty to his kid and to be there for her abortion or not" and i told him i felt used and stupid. unimportant and that he had duties to his wife too that he didn't think were very important. he got pissed at that and said he still needed a shoulder but would never use mine again and said we (me and her) were just alike it was all about us. i told him it was all about him, its always been all about him and as soon as me or even her starts needing something he attacks like how dare you. he said i just wanted an answer, to know he would dump her and be with me just like she wants to know. i told him i felt tossed aside like nothing and he hasn't had an answer in 7 months and i didn't expect him to have one now and i told him i knew he had a baby to focus on and told him just how difficult this all was and how alone i felt. he said that he didn't need to hear about pain i was in bc he felt guilty enough and would never forgive himself for causing me this pain and that he has to figure out what is gonna happen with her and baby and that was his focus and maybe we shouldn't talk right now. after i calmed own i kept looking at what he said about waking up. that i needed to wake up and look at reality. maybe i haven't been and i thought most of night about that and reality is i am all those things ya'll have called me. i'm weak idiot with no backbone and love him more than myself. i have my own place now and i certainly don't need to expect to hear from him or worry about him when i'm pretty sure i'm about one more emotional breakdown away from the hospital. reality is his gf is pregnant, he betrayed me time and time again, and i don't feel like he even cares. he has her to focus on and i'm just thrown out to side.. even forced out and yet i still am trying to just be loved by him. i haven't told anyone this part of this mess. only my mom, sister, and best friend know about affair. i've pretty much shut out everyone else. i know i'm really screwed up. but wake up is exactly what needs to happen and staring at my phone all day hoping for a miracle needs to stop. i know all this, its just i haven't wanted to give up on him or on us... and in process i gave up on myself. i am gonna wait for some responses and then see about getting this thread deleted bc of some things you guys said about stuff like this being found by other parties. i'm going to try and lean on my mom and sister and focus on getting myself sane again and telling him i think it is best if we didn't talk and tell him why, tell him i think we should follow through and complete divorce bc of all of this. a part of me doesn't want to, my heart, i still love him so much. my heart may never let go but i know that i at least have to break away. i feel so broken and alone. i don't know how to do this. it kills me to hurt him and i know that is screwed up, but it does. it kills me to feel like he thinks i don't love him bc i'm going through with divorce. but he hasn't given me any choice or given me a reason not to. i know whats best in my mind, but i just don't want this. but either way my heart dies so it doesn't matter. i'm not texting him. if he does me i'm just going to tell him that how he did me and telling me to wake up and look at reality is exactly what i'm doing. bc when he said that for some reason it was like a sucker punch. like he was calling me an idiot. he probably was. i can't believe this is my reality when less than a year ago i thought we were happy and trusted him completely and had faith and hope and believed in things. i don't believe in anything anymore. Honey, i am not sure how much more he has to kick you before YOU decide YOU have had enough of his crap. i feel sorry for the next "man" who has to deal with my issues. they have been texted almost non-stop, i'm guessing by their texting he went over there last night, and they have texted all day. i don't know why i'm looking or care. i just feel like i'm being lied to and they are planning this happy little family and having this sweet little moments and i feel robbed maybe they aren't, they could just be discussing everything. i know they have too. maybe i'm bitter. i don't know i'm just sad. its like i'm sleeping on a mattress on the floor of this little apt and my husband, or whatever he is, is giving all his attention and focus to his pregnant gf. its just so screwed up and i don't know whats going on. i wish he would just tell me they are gonna be together and i could stop and have an answer to go on. i don't know why it even matters anymore. i'm just so hurt. hurt seems like such an small word to describe the pain i feel and carry with me. i have a huge hole in my chest. You need to deal with your issues. Mourn the relationship. Grieve it. But then strap on your boots and start making a NEW path for you. this may be the 'best' thing that could happen to you. This is the time for you to dig deep, see what you are made of and start a new chapter. My goodness, think about all the possibilities. Remember, you could be dead in a grave. You could be homeless, jobless and have no family. But you do!!! You have your mom and your sister. Lean on them, but don't be needy. They, like US, want to see you start to kick some ass. We want you to stop wallowing and start seeing what is in front of you. You have a new lease on life. This 'guy' has shown you that he has little regard for you; he has shown you that through words AN actions. See him for what he is. A man who has taken compete and utter advantage of you. Now pull out that mirror and see the woman looking back. The woman who has thrown herself at someone who has taunted her, cheated on her, belittled her, humiliated her, etc. You are not stupid. You are not dumb. You are a woman who has refused to face what is right in front of her. Now...do you SEE what we have all been saying? Are YOU going to continue to be a doormat? (please say NO to that!) Get up, get your life under control. You cannot control him and his baby mama. Let them decide whatever they need to for them. You and I both know, as do the other posters here, that they aren't done with each other. They will decide what to do with the baby and then he is going to either SULK because she made a medical decision OR he is going to be an antsy expectant dad who uses you to 'help him' and lean on. NO MORE. Stand up for YOU...now. Why do you need an answer from him? Do you have that little self esteem? Put on your big girl panties, and make a decision for yourself!! Decide that you don't deserve to be treated this way. I'm dumbfounded. He DESERVES for you to divorce him. Yet you wonder if he's gonna think you don't love him. Why do you continue to humiliate yourself? You said you feel sorry for the next man who has to deal with your issues. Honey, I got news for you. No man is gonna deal with your issues. YOU deal with them. Take your own life in your hands. Stop waiting on your POS husband, stop waiting for mommy. Get some help. You can do it. No one can fix you but you. And no one can fix you while that prick of a husband is still around. I'm sorry to be harsh, but he is what he is. You keep thinking he's something else that he's not. And it's turned you into something you're not. Get away from him. Work on you. And only you. They will get theirs. I highly doubt he signed up to be baby daddy to 3 kids, 2 of whom aren't his. Trust me, their lives won't be rainbows and roses. But yours can be better than theirs for sure. NOW GO DO IT! LOL - great minds think alike!! he just texted and said she is leaning toward abortion. he said he didn't want to talk or explain or answer questions. he felt i had right to know. he asked if i would just let him be for a little while. i'm scared he will regret this if she does go through with an abortion. after all its his child he is deciding to do this to. i don't know if i could do it. this is horrible, horrible mess. i feel so sorry for the baby and for him, and for myself. is it weird that if she does abort baby i feel like i would grieve it bc it was his. i feel like this will haunt him for the rest of his life. i feel like she will blame him for rest of his life. i'm just terrified of all of this. it doesn't seem like this is fair or real. Life isn't fair. Life is what we make it. You have 2 choices... sit and sulk and wring your hands over the unfairness of life get up and get moving. Get that divorce going, grieve the loss of the marriage and focus on your wants and needs. Now, what are you going to pick?
Fight4Me Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 he just texted and said she is leaning toward abortion. he said he didn't want to talk or explain or answer questions. he felt i had right to know. he asked if i would just let him be for a little while. i'm scared he will regret this if she does go through with an abortion. after all its his child he is deciding to do this to. i don't know if i could do it. this is horrible, horrible mess. i feel so sorry for the baby and for him, and for myself. is it weird that if she does abort baby i feel like i would grieve it bc it was his. i feel like this will haunt him for the rest of his life. i feel like she will blame him for rest of his life. i'm just terrified of all of this. it doesn't seem like this is fair or real. Or maybe, just maybe, on a subconscious level, you want her to go through with the pregnancy so it will make it just a little bit easier to do the right thing.... DIVORCE his sorry ass. Honestly, I wish I lived closer to you. I'd swoop in and get you started on decorating your new place and helping you make it your own. I'd drive you to your counselor's appt, and wait for you in the waiting room, and then take you shopping for clothes to get your mind off of your troubles. I'd stand guard over your cell phone and front door, then smack the **** out of your POS swamp rat husband, and then I'd tell him what I really think of him! Oh, and then I'd serve him myself with your papers. Then I'd take you out to dinner where we would laugh ourselves silly over the look on his face. I can't help it, I know I'm not quite old enough to be your mom, but I'd sure like to fill in as a pseudo family member, because, honey, you need one! By the way, I PMed you. (((hugs)))
Woman In Blue Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 they have been texted almost non-stop, i'm guessing by their texting he went over there last night, and they have texted all day. i don't know why i'm looking or care. i just feel like i'm being lied to and they are planning this happy little family and having this sweet little moments and i feel robbed But why would you feel robbed when you're just his "friend," and you're "there for him?" Stop kidding yourself and trying to kid us that you want to be his "friend." At this point, your connection to him is completely dysfuncational and co-dependent. There's nothing "friendly" about it. Why would you even want to buy into a LIFETIME of dealing with this jackass and his OW and their "love child?" For the next umpteen years, it's going to be constant threats, battles, fights, court battles, child support, drama, constant fights over money, her using the kid as a pawn and him constantly jumping through hoops each time she does, and the list goes on ad nauseum. WHY would you even want any part of that bullcrap? Have you been to therapy? I highly, highly suggest it.
how2forgive&2forget Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 This thread makes me angry because I was this girl a few months ago. LostIt2010, we are of the same age, LTR relationship, first love. My cheating ex wavered back and forth between me and the other girl for more than a year!!! I was such an idiot. This is why I understand how you feel. This is coming from experience, I'm not giving you tough love just because I'm annoyed at your lack of self-preservation. It is tough love that you need right now. Lean on those people not emotionally involved in the situation, because they have a clearer grasp of it. There are just a few things I want to point out you, and hopefully will resonate in your head. 1. Your EX-HUSBAND is NOT in love with you anymore. 2. YOU are, right now, effectively, The Other Woman!!! You are interfering with a couple's relationship and family life. 3. You are NOT his friend, and never will be until you lose your OBSESSION with him. 4. As an ex-wife/ex-lover, you should stay the hell away from them! I see nothing but heartache for you, and a potential dangerous situation. Remove yourself from harm. 5. Your mother did NOT raise you to be a doormat, so quit acting like one! 6. Get mental health counselling, you obviously need one. I'm on meds for anxiety and depression, and it has helped me to be emotionally stable and has kept me my sanity. Now, a million hugs!!!! You are a precious person, worth of all the love and care of a good man. Don't worry about baggages and worthiness, I have a bf now who KNOWS everything and would willingly endure my issues to keep me. You will a greater and rewarding love, I promise.
PhoenixRise Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 he just texted and said she is leaning toward abortion. he said he didn't want to talk or explain or answer questions. he felt i had right to know. he asked if i would just let him be for a little while. i'm scared he will regret this if she does go through with an abortion. after all its his child he is deciding to do this to. i don't know if i could do it. this is horrible, horrible mess. i feel so sorry for the baby and for him, and for myself. is it weird that if she does abort baby i feel like i would grieve it bc it was his. i feel like this will haunt him for the rest of his life. i feel like she will blame him for rest of his life. i'm just terrified of all of this. it doesn't seem like this is fair or real. Lostit Stay out of it. Do not even respond or ask a question about the abortion or non abortion It is not your job or your burden to manage his guilt/sorrow/regret/ if the abortion happens. It is not your job to make sure he gets a happy little family with this OW/ex friend. Stay out of it. AND yes. See reality. At this point, it really doesn't even matter what happens with OW. If their relationship implodes tomorrow so much damage has been done to you, I doubt you will ever be able to have a healthy relationship with your H. You have trained him to only consider himself, his feelings, his needs by always putting your own needs and feelings aside. You have taught him that you will at all times put his happiness and well being above your own by being there for him even though it was emotionally killing you to do it. You have taught him that he has no need to value or respect you in any way by allowing him to waffell back and forth and treat you as optional. AND he has learned to take full advantage of your big heart and your love for him to get what he needs from you without giving anything in return. Let him go. Focus on yourself and your life. You do have a life to live, whether he is with you or not. AND tell your family and friends about this latest news. Don't try to carry everything all by yourself. Lean on the people who DO love you while you get strong enough to stand on your own.
Author LostIt2010 Posted June 16, 2010 Author Posted June 16, 2010 I don't know why its all about him. I don't know how to love people I guess... obviously. I can't just cut my feelings off. I've loved him ever since I knew what loves was, its not that easy to just think of me when I haven't for so long. Maybe it is obsessed idk. F4M in some weird way, I think what you said is a little right. I just can not believe he just doesn't love me anymore. I haven't contacted him since that email either like someone suggested, I have left him alone. He is dealing with what he has to. Those telling me how pathetic I am does nothing for me. This is almost more than I can handle going through this, I'm gonna screw up and I"m gonna act pathetic. I've done best I can. I fight my feelings everyday and its exhausting and some days I just can't fight them. I post usually at my worst and most desparate times. I took my niece swimming and for pizza Saturday. The last two days have just been awful emotionally. I'm very down and I can't help it, this has been worse than hell. I can't help that I'm in love with him and a huge piece of me tries to hold on. I try to make steps to move frwd and with my apartment and such, my heart just doesn't seem to keep up and some days it doesn't move at all. My self preservation obviously isn't what others are, I have always been more concerned with and loved others more than myself. Days are daunting, getting up and through a day sometimes takes everything in me. I'm not a game player with no contact and doing something to make him think or do this, or do something out of hate to him just bc I'm mad... I don't hate him. I am trying to survive best I can and I'm just being me, as screwed up as that person is, I love him and my heart is broken.
how2forgive&2forget Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 You say you feel pathetic and weak and yet I can sense defiance and stubbornness in your responses. 1. Detach, detach, detach! By brute force! Change your cell number, block him in all your messaging and email accounts, and DO NOT STALK him and his pregnant lover. 2. Strive to do NC. Give yourself a week, then two weeks, then keep on going until you feel more balanced. The reason why you are in a rollercoaster is because you have continued to contact him. 3. Exercise. I know you are already doing this, but I want to suggest something more. Have you ever considered a hypnotherapist? They encourage postive thinking and I think you will have less resistance to good advice if you are under hypnosis. 4. Get thee to a psychologist/psychiatrist. 5. Can you try to get a teaching position outside the country? One of my friends just graduated and went to Japan to teach English. She's earning good money and is able to travel all over Asia. 6. You have an addiction. Him. Time to quit this particular drug. You are not your addiction. You will get over this. And about him being your first love? Heartbreak is the same whether it's 2 years or 20 years. It hurts. Don't romanticize the length of your relationship. Be glad you are not 60 and starting life over again. You should go to separation & divorce board. You think your life is over, but it actually just has begun. Break-ups are life's reset button!
stillafool Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 Lost, what about looking for a second job to keep you busier and to help with expenses? Have you considered a second job? What does your mom and sister suggest?
stillafool Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 I Those telling me how pathetic I am does nothing for me. This is almost more than I can handle going through this, I'm gonna screw up and I"m gonna act pathetic. I've done best I can. I fight my feelings everyday and its exhausting and some days I just can't fight them. I don't remember anyone here calling you pathetic or maybe I missed it. We realize this is almost more than you can handle. The way your H is treating you is more than anyone can handle and that is why we are asking you to try NC so he won't have a chance to tell you more things that will cause you pain. As long as you are in contact with him, hearing about his gf and baby, you are going to feel pain and stay in pain. We are asking you to stop contact for your benefit not his. I'm sure he has other friends and his own family to support him through this ordeal. He has even asked you to leave him alone for a while. What about looking for a second job?
Author LostIt2010 Posted June 17, 2010 Author Posted June 17, 2010 I haven't spoken to him since day before yesterday around lunch, when he said she was leaning toward abortion, he didn't wanna talk about it right then and he just needed a good break. I work full time right now and my job will end in August when I student teach. I had planned on this weekend looking for a job to get extra money until August, then keeping it (it would have to be night/weekend job) and hopefully I'll make enough at it to get by. My hurt and confusion is constant and it is all I can do to keep from talking to him. They have been texting dang near all day. I'm in so much pain, but I'm not going to contact him. I don't know what I'll say when he contacts me. We are still married on paper and there is so much left unsaid I feel like. We'd have to talk eventually to at least figure out some things on divorce and splitting a couple bills. I struggle just to get through the day. I'm hurting so much and it won't stop or even ease up. I'll be doing the most random thing and tears just flow out of nowhere.
turnera Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 lostit, why are you still checking the text records? It keeps hurting because YOU are keeping the pain alive by checking up on him. No Contact means NO CONTACT! You say you're letting go, but you're really not, if you keep doing that. PLEASE stop looking at that. Call someone up and tell them you need help stopping. Get someone to talk to. Please!
CrayonAngel Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 Lost, It's not going to get any easier for a while. You will be back to normal one day and that is a promise. Maybe you should look at it as fate..He kept running back and forth playing house with each of you and now..shes found a way to make it permanent. I'm sorry that you hate hearing the truth but your husband has turned into a worthless lying excuse for a human being, he messes with your head and plays childish little games with you...so now hes made his bed..let him sleep in it. He will be raising all three children and reality will slap him in the face. Are you going to be there when he comes running back? You need to stop playing this whole "quit picking on me, I'm a victim" card. The first time he screwed you over, you were a victim..but after you repeatedly let him back in and believed his boldfaced lies..you started to take blame for some of your hurt. No one is here to hurt your feelings..its just what you don't want to hear. We have all been so patient in giving you advice and everytime its not what you want to hear..you throw a hissy fit. PLEASE understand that MOST of us here have felt exactly what you are feeling right now..its not like we don't know what you are going through. We are here to help you...its just getting a little redundant that you don't want to listen to anyones advice AT ALL but you want us all to listen everytime you get screwed over by little Mr. Can't be wrong. So what do you want us to say? Keep going down this path its Healthy? Keep obsessing everyday over phone records? let him come back if he wants because your heart is in control of everything? Don't go to counseling or do NC because they are over rated? On another note..his lady friend is trash and she will get her karma and so will he. Walk away and let it happen.
PortuguesePrincess80 Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 I completely agree with CrayonAngel...kinda sickening to read on more of the "but I love him" and "he needs me" in your forums. Grow up already!
Always A Lesson Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 Lostit, I've come to several conclusions regarding your situation.A. B. or C. A. My gut instinct tells me this....You're a TROLL.... (the pattern in which you write, gives you away..can't give details) B. You'll go Strict N/C, then divorce. You have NO other options. OR C. You'll Continue in this sickening drama-filled soap opera life, Hell, maybe you'll move in with Hubby & OW and help raise the baby. Let him have both, cause if you stick around in this sick scenario (in any way), this is what you' re gonna get. (baby or no baby) (He will have both and he knows it!) It's inevitable !!!! (a side note:) (some situations can become so dysfunctional that words like.. respect, love, faithfulness have no meaning at all, they aren't even in the vocabulary....it gets that bad) when this happens , its time to get out to save your own life.....
CrayonAngel Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 She already adressed that. She isn't a troll... besides...trolls never hang around this long. Lost, What is your plan?
PhoenixRise Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 Nobody expects your feelings to change overnight. I think what most people are telling you is that it is time (past time) for you to stop letting your feelings dictate your actions. You love him, I get it. You need to understand that it doesn't matter if you love him. Your love didn't matter when he cheated with your friend. It didn't matter when he continued to waffell back and forth comparison shopping to see which of you would offer him the best deal and the wettest vagina. It didn't matter when he had unprotected sex with her then you exposing you to STD's. It didn't matter when he was making a baby with her. Your love hasn't mattered to him in any real way in a very long time. So it is time for your love to stop dictating your actions. You say you haven't contacted him...good. Don't contact him. You say you need to talk to him to figure out the divorce and split the bills...no you don't... that is what lawyers are for. Stop checking the phone records to see how much they are talking. It doesn't change anything and it only serves to hurt you. Of course they are talking, they are either trying to work out the abortion, or they are trying to work out their relationship so they can raise the baby. Either way, they are talking/texting a lot and seeing that in black and white via the cell records is not helping you heal. From now on, before you answer a phone call from him, read a text from him, check the cell record, or engage him in any way, ask yourself if what you are about to do will help you heal or will it just hurt. If it is not going to help you heal then don't do it. Your love is beating the hell out of you. Only you can make it stop.
stillafool Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 My hurt and confusion is constant and it is all I can do to keep from talking to him. But he asked that you leave him alone. Are you thinking of breaking NC after he has asked you to not call? They have been texting dang near all day. I'm in so much pain, but I'm not going to contact him. I don't know what I'll say when he contacts me. We are still married on paper and there is so much left unsaid I feel like. We'd have to talk eventually to at least figure out some things on divorce and splitting a couple bills. Like other posters have asked, why are you checking on them. You know they are talking and planning. Stop doing this to yourself. There is really nothing left to discuss with him as the other poster said. You can have your boss draw up the papers immediately if you wanted. He will work out any bills to be split if you ask him to include that in the papers. He said he would do it for free why are you waiting. I struggle just to get through the day. I'm hurting so much and it won't stop or even ease up. I'll be doing the most random thing and tears just flow out of nowhere. You won't let the pain ease up because you keep spying on them instead of moving on with your life. Again, what does your mom and sister tell you to do?
Author LostIt2010 Posted June 18, 2010 Author Posted June 18, 2010 (edited) he emailed me and they went to dallas to an appointment for the abortion pill. she was 5 weeks. i do hate her, but i feel for her going through this (which is screwed up i know, but i can't help but grieve for a baby that would have been his first, a part of him and now its gone) he said it was scary and she cried whole time. she has had cramping and stuff and has been very upset. he said he felt if it wasn't for him she wouldn't have done it, and if it was 6 weeks she was going to refuse to. he said he is being there for her bc she was told not to do anything and he feels it is least and right thing to do. he said he is not telling me to feel bad, said not to cry for him that he dug this hole. he said he can't help but wonder what if this was his once chance to have a child and he paid to have it destroyed and bc of what he has done he will no longer get that chance. he said he has caused complete damage to everyone's life. he has no answers, but he wanted to tell me what was going on and what they were dealing with. i didn't know they had decided to go through with it, i honestly didn't think they would. i tried and stayed out of decision for most part and i just listened and tried to let him know his rights if she did have child and told him how scary abortion would be and he would probably have pain for rest of his life there when we first found out less than week ago she was pregnant. i told him to let shock wear off and think bf a rash decision was made. i also told him it was their decision and that i couldn't be factored in that he had to do what he thought was best. i somehow feel guilt that he did it bc of me. i know he didn't, but i do feel some guilt that he did it wondering if we would ever work. i'm completely screwy for thinking that right now. but i feel some guilt in all this too. this is something he will probably look back and have regrets and what ifs for rest of his life, and i'm just sad for it all. i feel scared for him and sad this has happened. sad a life was lost. its so weird, i can't believe this actually happened. i could feel pain in him from email, i can't imagine. i'm leaving him alone, which is best for us both right now to deal but my heart just aches. i love him, and i can't help but be scared for him,scared for me. scared for both our futures and how lives have been forever affected. please no bashing right now. i'm just at a loss that this is all really happening. Edited June 18, 2010 by LostIt2010
Author LostIt2010 Posted June 18, 2010 Author Posted June 18, 2010 and all on father's day weekend. its so surreal. a part of me wonders if it was meant to be too and now its destroyed. i don't see how either of them are gonna deal with this if even i'm feeling scared and wondering about everything. all of us are forever changed in horrible ways bc of this
Corporate Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 and all on father's day weekend. its so surreal. a part of me wonders if it was meant to be too and now its destroyed. i don't see how either of them are gonna deal with this if even i'm feeling scared and wondering about everything. all of us are forever changed in horrible ways bc of this There is just too much pain, baggage, resentment, guilt, blame, etc. I think you should move on and start fresh.
bananalaffytaffy Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 I can't believe what I'm reading. I too considered that you are a troll, but a troll who's making all this up would probably let the GF have the baby- 9 more months of drama to post about. You should just go back to him. It's what you want anyway. Just go back and accept your position as OW, because that's all you are anymore now anyway. Unless you can accept some kind of open marriage or polyamorous arrangement, you should stop being a doormat, stop feeling guilty for him, stop whining, and MOVE ON. Never in my whole freaking life have I seen someone whose entire self worth depends upon what some other person thinks of them. And continues to hold on when it's so obvious by their actions that that other person thinks so very little of them.
Author LostIt2010 Posted June 18, 2010 Author Posted June 18, 2010 they may end up together after all of this. i'm leaving him alone. but starting fresh isn't exactly something i'm happy about doing. there is so much devestation and now an innocent life lost... this has been a horrible nightmare effecting people to their core. a year ago today we were landing in Mexico on somewhat of a late honeymoon bc we could finally afford to go somewhere, we were happy and innocent, excited about our future, things felt so good. i can not believe this is happening.
Author LostIt2010 Posted June 18, 2010 Author Posted June 18, 2010 I can't believe what I'm reading. I too considered that you are a troll, but a troll who's making all this up would probably let the GF have the baby- 9 more months of drama to post about. You should just go back to him. It's what you want anyway. Just go back and accept your position as OW, because that's all you are anymore now anyway. Unless you can accept some kind of open marriage or polyamorous arrangement, you should stop being a doormat, stop feeling guilty for him, stop whining, and MOVE ON. Never in my whole freaking life have I seen someone whose entire self worth depends upon what some other person thinks of them. And continues to hold on when it's so obvious by their actions that that other person thinks so very little of them. i'm supposed to not give a **** that a baby just died? to not give a **** about someone i love my feelings do not shut off like a faucet. i'd rather love like that than be able to tell someone to **** off like they meant nothing to me. so **** you.
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