another update. how much more can a girl take?

[LostIt2010]

so for those that know my story and have kept up with my posts, i'm just gonna go from my most recent....

 

after working on things for a 3rd or 4th time, 2 weeks in i caught him seeing her behind my back once during her lunch hour to "pick up some things" i left an anger and hurt note packed my stuff and got an apt. that was last wednesday.

 

the very next day. i get a text from him saying he needed to talk with me an said it was bad. i didn't respond and he said please i need to see you its very bad. i know him and know he wouldn't say this. i see him and he looks at me with a look i have never seen in his face, his eyes were watered and he had sheer terror and pain all over his face, so much it scared me and i thought something had happened to someone until it hit me and i said she is pregnant isn't she. and he nodded, put his head in his hands and cried like i've never heard him cry in 14 years. he pulled hiself together pretty quick and we talked. he said that he has ruined his life and this is not how he planned this to happen, and not how he wanted to bring a child into this world. he said he did not want a child with her. which is beside the fact they did not ensure it wouldn't happen now.

not only does this man own my heart and he is my weakness and it has taken almost 7 months to try and make an attempt for me to leave after he has been going back and forth bw us both. he is my best friend too. i've told him for 7 months he better be careful bc she is going to get pregnant.

 

to make a long story short. i am trying to be there for him bc i'm all he has in some ways. friday and saturday they have blown up at each other and are considering abortion. i don't know if she will go through with it. i'm scared he may regret it. i've tried to be a friend to him, though it is hard bc of my feelings. we got into it this morning bc i felt he attacked me, i felt he was defending her, i let my feelings become entangled. they talked a little more civil last night and i know he feels for her going through this, and i know if she chooses abortion it would not be easy in the slightest and i can sympathize with that.

 

even though i have an apt an hour away and i'm trying to "do whats best" my heart is still with him and this has ripped me apart, confused my feelings i was trying to force away by focusing on what he did to me. this is a life altering heavy decision for him, i couldn't turn my back on him. its bw them and their decision i know, and i'm just being there for him to talk things out to, and bc i work for an atty let him know his rights. after we got into it this morning i wrote him an email saying what pain i'm in, i can't even put it in words, how confused i am, and how alone and cast aside i felt. i told him he has enough going on and he doens't need to deal with me bc he is dealing with her and the possibility of a child with her, he needs to do what he feels is best. i told him i probably need to accept fact that if i'm gonna be there for him, if he wants me to, i need to get it in my head we are done to be able to be a friend to him during this time, and that my feelings can not just shut off, but if he didn't forget i left yet again over him seeing her and haven't even had a moment to cry bf he tells me she is pregnant.

that either way, it is going to involve either being there for her after an abortion (bc she is not really for abortion but is considering it bc of the situation, i'm not sure she will be able to. but she will obviously not be ok, which she has told him and i don't think he will be able to just turn his back on her after) or they are going to try and work though things together for baby during her pregnancy bc if he doesn't he has no rights to be there for anything and if he is not with her she will make it pure hell. it seems to be all about whether he is going to be with her for her, and less about the child. she swears she didn't plan or do this on purpose and isn't evil. a part of him believes her, a huge part of me doesn't even though i don't see why she would WANT this to happen. i don't think he reacted like she thought he would and now she is like oh sh*t. if they can't make it work or he can't manage to be with her and she decides to keep the baby it will probably get nasty bc it already has bw them.

 

i think a part of him wants it and to try and make it work with them, a part of him wants me still, and a part of him has said after seeing her true colors in their fights he is terrified to even be with her. i also think a part of him wants abortion, but a part of him wants a baby. he still has not picked a solid decision. i guess i can't expect him to. i feel very hurt and used.

 

7 months ago, before the affair we had talked about having a baby after i graduated college. i'm due to graduate in december. we had waited bc we didn't want a baby so young, then i went back to school and we wanted to wait till i was done. he is 31 and i'm 28. he said a part of him is scared this might be his chance bc he is older, but he doesn't want to bring his child in this situation. a part of me feels robbed, i guess a selfish part, feels like it should be us that is pregnant and we should be happy. almost like it should be me, it should be our family, our moment... it was supposed to be i have cried and cried until i don't think i have any more tears left. i feel numb a lot.

 

i moved into apartment alone, i put together cheap furniture alone. i was lucky bc guys who delivered my mattress help me get some big things in. i feel cast aside, confused, alone and completely broken.

 

i'm not really sure of anything, this weekend has been a complete blur. i can't even believe this is reality.

[Jilly Bean]

You really need to go NC with him, hon. I know that's hard for you, because you have such a big heart and attachment to him, but every encounter with him will only hurt you further.

 

What a nerve on him to dump this on you! Let him sort out his own mess. You need to focus your energy on YOU, and moving on with your life, and not getting bogged down with his BS. He created this - let him solve it ON HIS OWN.

 

SO sorry he continues to be a nightmare. You can't catch a break with him around...

[LostIt2010]

i can't imagine the decision she is facing either, i hate her, but i can sympathize. and i love him too much to just turn my back.

i tried to establish what you said with the email to him. i probably wasn't successful. first time we talked we decided me being away and focusing on me while he figured out what was gonna happen with them bc of baby was best, but after some pretty horrible meetings bw them i'm guessing he never actually said but seemed to put that aside. i told him he needs to focus on what he can live with for the rest of his life and what is best for baby.

 

its like i'm scared he is gonna think i don't love him if i go NC.

 

i told him i think he has enough going on and this is something bw him and her and i need to take myself out of it.

 

its like i want to be with him, but i don't. i need him, but i need to be without him.

 

i just know my love for him is so strong, and i'm in so much pain... the combo of it is killing me. anything i do i'm gonna hurt. not to mention i have this apartment now and i'm terrified and don't know how i'm gonna afford it and have never been on my own before on top of everything. sometimes its like none of this seems real, then it will hit and completely cripple me.

[pepperpatty]

I feel for you so much, but you have one job right now - and that's to take care of yourself. Is listening to their back and forth on this baby going to move you towards being whole and happy? If the answer is no, you have to make a boundary and stick to it. If you want him to work through the mess he made all by himself, and get back to you when they have figured out what they are going to do, then you need to make sure that happens.

 

If you don't step back, my fear for you is that you will be enmeshed with this triangle forever with no boundaries - him leaning on you when he has problems with her, him being cold to you when he's getting along with her. And your pain will be endless.

 

I've been there, and I totally understand the love that keeps you in it. I understand the fear of being alone and worried you can't make it on your own financially or emotionally. But do you really want to be still sharing him with her five years from now and dealing with this same drama?

 

You may wind up with him back regardless, but you will never have him back and all to yourself unless you make those boundaries clear and stick to them. As long as he can play this however he likes, he will, and he will never, ever choose.

[Owl]

There used to be a poster on this site with a wonderful signature.

 

"What would you do if you weren't afraid?"

 

Fear is crippling you right now. It's preventing you from thinking clearly, and it's preventing you from taking action to resolve the situation.

 

What would you do it you weren't afraid?

[CrayonAngel]

This is going to sound harsh but quit being a doormat. why are you "there" for him? is he there for you? he gets the comfort from you no matter what he does? where is your backbone? do you really think 10 years down the road reguardless if you stay together or not, you're going to be happy? NO, absolutely not...I'm sorry but you will always feel mistrust and low self-esteem if you stay with him. You've been coming here for a while now, and we've all been following your story and listening but I don't think you've taken even the smallest bit of advice and actually used it.

 

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and

expecting different results. "

-Benjamin Franklin

[LostIt2010]

i'm scared of being on my own and being alone, but it didn't keep me from doing it. i got an apt and moved in by myself. i left, granted it took awhile. i'll have to find another job like waitressing or bartending (which neither i've ever done) but i'll do it. i know i can do it, it scares me sure, but i know i'll manage, i'd have to.

 

i think its more that love for him, the thought of him not in my future that is completely screwing me up and making me not think clearly its like i can't breathe without him, and with him its like i'm breathing its just through plastic or something.

 

i just can't believe this is happening. it hurts me to think he can go on without me, it hurts so much thinking they might be this happy family and even though i'm not perfect but i didn't deserve any of this and i'm the one that suffers.

[Fight4Me]

Okay Sweetheart, here comes the tough love...

 

Reread the paragraphs where you describe all the parts of him wanting this, and then that, and then the other. When I read that, I pictured a pie chart with you (HIS WIFE) being a slim slice of approximately 12%. Meditate on that for a moment.

 

I know you're scared, I know he was your first and only love, but he is not LOVING YOU BACK! There are men out there who would kill for someone like you, give you their entire heart, and if you would distance yourself from your self-centered man-child, you would actually have the opportunity to experience mutual love and respect. I'm telling you, it's out there.

 

Stay the course you are on. He is destroying your spirit, which is such a shame since you have such a beautiful one. In all honesty, if he hadn't treated you so horribly (and he still knows you'll comfort him in spite of that, which is sick), I would say that it's still possible to reconcile even with an OC. But under these circumstances, honey, you are prolonging and escalating the agony.

 

12%... do you really think so little of yourself to settle for that? Well, I for one, KNOW you are worthy of 110%!!

[CrayonAngel]

"its like i'm scared he is gonna think i don't love him if i go NC."

So what, do you think he doesn't love you now that he decided to get another woman pregnant?

 

"i told him i think he has enough going on and this is something bw him and her and i need to take myself out of it."

You are married to this man, how does it not have anything to do with you? Is it not going to affect you?

 

"its like i want to be with him, but i don't. i need him, but i need to be without him."

I really think you need to see a counselor. You depend on him to make you happy.

What is he going to have to do to get you to get ahold of your life and walk away from this trashy mess he has gotten you both into? commit murder?

 

Please don't be one of those women who stays with the worthless husband as he fathers children outside of his marriage because you are afraid of being alone...YOU GET ONE LIFE, AND THATS IT! YOU CAN BE HAPPY, OR YOU CAN BE MISERABLE.

[LostIt2010]

thanks, its good to hear that.

 

i know it seems insane to sane people. i don't feel very sane, i don't even feel whole or rational. i feel lost, hurt, confused, and so much love for a person... i'm far from rational. i'm still seeing stars from all of this and have never quite got my balance.

 

my head and survival instincts are pushing me, like with getting the apartment but honestly my eyes and heart have never really looked anywhere but at him.

 

i'm waiting on my sanity to kick in, for my self respect, for my heart to just let go for a moment so i can run. but its not bc i want to, i don't know if i'll ever really want to or let go. i attach to people and things, once i'm attached i do not let go.

 

i'm totally screwed up, i know. its like i left my heart with him and the rest is trying to move on, my heart just knows he is my love and my home and he is its everything, and when he isn't being crappy he does make me happy.... its not easy to leave that no matter how crappy he is and has been there is a part of him that isn't crappy and that loves me and he just isn't the same person i know he is inside right now, he is scared and confused too. i can't leave him and let him fall, i want him to be ok, i want my person back.... i'm just so screwed up i know.

 

i should probably stop posting here. i need to do this by myself.

Edited June 14, 2010 by LostIt2010

[Fight4Me]

No, don't stop posting. You're getting there... baby steps.

 

None of us are telling you that letting him go is going to be easy.... far from it. There are many women exactly in your shoes, so try not to think so negatively about yourself. The more you do that, the more you think you can't live without certain people.

 

Think of it this way. He hasn't experienced any real life consequences of his own. Sometimes parents have to let their children fall down in order to learn not to run around the pool. Now he is suffering an enormous life consequence, and is coming to you to help him feel better. You've developed a mother/son dynamic, which isn't entirely unusual in some marriages, especially ones that start out so young. But it's not a healthy scenario. You need to break this pattern and swiftly if there's any hope of seeing the man you once knew and loved.

[sweetky]

Lostit... has he seen absolute proof she's pregnant? Did he go to the doctor with her confirm?

[bittersweet memories]

so for those that know my story and have kept up with my posts, i'm just gonna go from my most recent....

 

after working on things for a 3rd or 4th time, 2 weeks in i caught him seeing her behind my back once during her lunch hour to "pick up some things" i left an anger and hurt note packed my stuff and got an apt. that was last wednesday.

 

the very next day. i get a text from him saying he needed to talk with me an said it was bad. i didn't respond and he said please i need to see you its very bad. i know him and know he wouldn't say this. i see him and he looks at me with a look i have never seen in his face, his eyes were watered and he had sheer terror and pain all over his face, so much it scared me and i thought something had happened to someone until it hit me and i said she is pregnant isn't she. and he nodded, put his head in his hands and cried like i've never heard him cry in 14 years. he pulled hiself together pretty quick and we talked. he said that he has ruined his life and this is not how he planned this to happen, and not how he wanted to bring a child into this world. he said he did not want a child with her. which is beside the fact they did not ensure it wouldn't happen now.

not only does this man own my heart and he is my weakness and it has taken almost 7 months to try and make an attempt for me to leave after he has been going back and forth bw us both. he is my best friend too. i've told him for 7 months he better be careful bc she is going to get pregnant.

 

to make a long story short. i am trying to be there for him bc i'm all he has in some ways. friday and saturday they have blown up at each other and are considering abortion. i don't know if she will go through with it. i'm scared he may regret it. i've tried to be a friend to him, though it is hard bc of my feelings. we got into it this morning bc i felt he attacked me, i felt he was defending her, i let my feelings become entangled. they talked a little more civil last night and i know he feels for her going through this, and i know if she chooses abortion it would not be easy in the slightest and i can sympathize with that.

 

even though i have an apt an hour away and i'm trying to "do whats best" my heart is still with him and this has ripped me apart, confused my feelings i was trying to force away by focusing on what he did to me. this is a life altering heavy decision for him, i couldn't turn my back on him. its bw them and their decision i know, and i'm just being there for him to talk things out to, and bc i work for an atty let him know his rights. after we got into it this morning i wrote him an email saying what pain i'm in, i can't even put it in words, how confused i am, and how alone and cast aside i felt. i told him he has enough going on and he doens't need to deal with me bc he is dealing with her and the possibility of a child with her, he needs to do what he feels is best. i told him i probably need to accept fact that if i'm gonna be there for him, if he wants me to, i need to get it in my head we are done to be able to be a friend to him during this time, and that my feelings can not just shut off, but if he didn't forget i left yet again over him seeing her and haven't even had a moment to cry bf he tells me she is pregnant.

that either way, it is going to involve either being there for her after an abortion (bc she is not really for abortion but is considering it bc of the situation, i'm not sure she will be able to. but she will obviously not be ok, which she has told him and i don't think he will be able to just turn his back on her after) or they are going to try and work though things together for baby during her pregnancy bc if he doesn't he has no rights to be there for anything and if he is not with her she will make it pure hell. it seems to be all about whether he is going to be with her for her, and less about the child. she swears she didn't plan or do this on purpose and isn't evil. a part of him believes her, a huge part of me doesn't even though i don't see why she would WANT this to happen. i don't think he reacted like she thought he would and now she is like oh sh*t. if they can't make it work or he can't manage to be with her and she decides to keep the baby it will probably get nasty bc it already has bw them.

 

i think a part of him wants it and to try and make it work with them, a part of him wants me still, and a part of him has said after seeing her true colors in their fights he is terrified to even be with her. i also think a part of him wants abortion, but a part of him wants a baby. he still has not picked a solid decision. i guess i can't expect him to. i feel very hurt and used.

 

7 months ago, before the affair we had talked about having a baby after i graduated college. i'm due to graduate in december. we had waited bc we didn't want a baby so young, then i went back to school and we wanted to wait till i was done. he is 31 and i'm 28. he said a part of him is scared this might be his chance bc he is older, but he doesn't want to bring his child in this situation. a part of me feels robbed, i guess a selfish part, feels like it should be us that is pregnant and we should be happy. almost like it should be me, it should be our family, our moment... it was supposed to be i have cried and cried until i don't think i have any more tears left. i feel numb a lot.

 

i moved into apartment alone, i put together cheap furniture alone. i was lucky bc guys who delivered my mattress help me get some big things in. i feel cast aside, confused, alone and completely broken.

 

i'm not really sure of anything, this weekend has been a complete blur. i can't even believe this is reality.

 

This man has been going back and forth and now he got the OW pregnant. I say move on! It would be crazy to stick around.

 

He will be living the prefect life if you stick around because he will continue to see the OW even more soo once the baby is born..Why be ok with that? What makes you think things will change now? It's going to get worst sorry to say.

[goodbyekitty]

My heart hurts for you ... I know somewhat how you are feeling.

I have only been with one man as well, and finding out he was cheating when I thought our love meant so much to both of us was devastating. I couldn't eat or sleep and it felt like I was in mourning ... it was just like he had died. I was angry and resentful for a few days, but then all I wanted was to hear from him. I checked my phone constantly praying that he had contacted me. I would put my phone on silent as I wanted him to want to call me and for him to realise I was strong and wouldn't answer (when I wasn't strong, thats why it was on silent!)

I think what you are experiencing right now is denial. Denial what he has done to you and your love. Denial of the person he has become.

 

I felt compelled to reply because my mistake was the mistake I see you are making now. I was angry, hurt and bitter. But I desperately needed him in my life. Even though all I was getting were crumbs. He needed me more than I needed him as he made a mistake just like your husband has. But don't mistake his need for you now for love. I too felt I had to help him with the decisions he had to make. But by being there you are not allowing yourself time to heal. You are not being kind to yourself. You are not giving yourself time to realise you will be fine without him! He is not more important than you.

 

My mistake was that I never had time to myself to heal and consequently my feelings of depair about being without him never went away. But I never gave them a chance to! As a result I thought I couldn't be without him. So I went back. We now have a baby. However, he ended up cheating again. I love my baby and would never wish her away, but I wish I never went back to him those 3 years ago. I wish I was strong when it happened the first time and gave myself time to heal. Instead of loving me for being there when he needed me most (after getting another woman pregnant) looking back I know deep down that was when he lost respect for me. I feel he thought my love for him was worth more to me than my self respect.

 

I think you need to step back. Give yourself even just a couple of weeks to look after yourself and leave his problems for him to figure out alone. You haven't done anything except be kind, generous and loving - to him. But you need to be these things to yourself at the moment.

 

I think you should keep posting here and whatever decision you make realise that most posters here aren't being judgemental or purposely harsh. I think that we want to give advice and help because sadly most of us have been there too.

[Corporate]

I am totally against divorce, with the exception of infidelity. Here, you got more than that, you also have to deal with a baby by OW.

 

This is not going to work for the following reasons:

 

1) The trust is gone.

 

2) The relationship/marriage will NEVER be the same again; it's way too damaged and tained.

 

3) You will never trust him.

 

4) You will always question if he truly loves you.

 

5) You will always have to deal with a baby mama and the drama. Everytime your H go visit the baby, there is a chance/opportunity for him and the OM to have a quickie. This will go on for 18 years, 21 years and maybe more.

 

6) The baby will always be a reminder of how he betrayed you or how you were not good enough for him.

 

........

 

I can go on and on.

 

You are unhealthy depend on him. You need to go NC. If he loves you at all ever and if he respects you at all, he will let you have the NC. If you stay, you will suffer and misserable and probably end up in divorce 5 years down the road. By the way, your H's money willl be going to child support for 18 years, and that could be the money going to your household/vacation/children, etc.

 

You can have a clean start with a non-cheater. This is your opporunity out. You need to start with completely no contact. You are strong enough to do this.

[Disintegration]

Woah that is devastating news! Aside from all that he's been putting you through that is the absolute worse thing that could have happened. You really need to look out for yourself. I think you need to stop all communication with him and divorce him. I know it is going to be extremely difficult but you have put forth the effort and actually left him. Now this.

 

Hasn't he hurt you enough. He may be going through a rough time but he is responsible for this. I don't think you should be a friend to him at this time. What about what you are going through, and have gone through for the past 7 months of his infidelity?

 

You deserve so much better than this, and I hope one day you will realize that. I think there is way too much damage for your marriage to be repaired. I don't think you'll ever be able to over come this whether they keep the baby or not.

 

There is so much out there for you to explore. Not everyone one out there will hurt you like he has. Please, move forward with your life without him. Get back on track, and look out for number one which is yourself.

[turnera]

my head and survival instincts are pushing me, like with getting the apartment but honestly my eyes and heart have never really looked anywhere but at him.

And what did that get you?

 

Used, abused, ignored, and taken for granted.

 

If you EVER want him back in your life, you will have to go NC with him for AT LEAST 6 months. Let him hit his own rock bottom.

 

If you don't leave him to this, he will suck you right back in, just like he just did.

 

Come on, you are stronger than this! PROVE to him that you DESERVE respect, not to be his 'friend' while he throws his affair in your face and EXPECTS you to comfort him! If I was near you, I'd punch him in the face for daring to hurt you like this.

[califnan]

When you said he had tears in his eyes and it was "bad" ... I thought he had some life threatening illness !!!

 

Men were created to impregnate.. that's why they want to make love all the time at his age..

 

He went to forbidden territory (outside the marriage) and supposedly fertilized an egg.

 

And you have been the one who has been restraining yourself (sacrificing) in starting your family until the time was right .. and that has in a way been stolen from you ..

 

You have no reason to coddle him because he has sinned against you, the marriage, and God..

 

I pray for the baby that it won't be another bludgeoned (killed) statistic..

 

What I am getting at - is that your husband's continued rebellious sin has caused this .. There is no reason for your support.

[Lecturer]

This guy is an infection. I only wish you cut ties earlier. You are doomed to misery as long as you are with him. He made his own bed, let him lie in it.

[CakeEatersWife]

You will be surprised how fast you lose the attachment to him once you break away. Once there is some distance and you can really see what a two-timing cheat he was, and how he did NOT care about you or your feelings or your relationship while he and OW were baby-making, you will be free to find someone who will love you and appreciate you.

 

There are good men out there.

 

I read your post and a feeling of "ick" went right down my spine. I'm so sorry, but this fellow is just no good.

 

You are young and have a chance to make a fresh start with a decent guy who only has eyes for you. Go find him!

[Corporate]

You will be surprised how fast you lose the attachment to him once you break away. !

 

 

Two weeks. If she can do two weeks of NO contact at all, she'll be free.

[stillafool]

Oh she's pregnant. That seems to be all she's good for and stealing her friend's husbands. She's an expert at having illigitimate children. He is actually telling you this may be his last chance to have a child because he is getting older? What about you? You are 28 and that definitely is not too young to start a family. He again, is thinking about what is best for him with no thought of how this is affecting you? The reason: because you show him time and time again that his happiness is more important to you than your own. He is basically using you (his wife) for support while he is going through a pregnancy with his OW and you are more than happy to help him. Why should he ever stop seeing this OW?

 

 

Listen up Lost, if you truly do love your h and want him back the only way you will succeed is to go strict NC and show him some strength and move on with your life. This will change his view about you and your weakness for him and will make him desire you. The way you are reacting to his dirt right now is going to get you "friendzoned" by him. He is not taking your feelings into account what-so-ever and if you don't stop him, they will have the baby and ask you to babysit.

[stillafool]

LostIt,

 

IT IS NOT OK. Do you hear me? It is NOT okay that he slept with another woman. It is NOT okay that they were so irresponsible that he impregnated her. It is NOT okay that he obviously exposed you to STD's. IT IS NOT OK.

 

This should be the last straw for you.

 

 

Lost, he didn't even care enough about your safety to wear a condome.

[fooled once]

"its like i'm scared he is gonna think i don't love him if i go NC."

So what, do you think he doesn't love you now that he decided to get another woman pregnant?

 

"i told him i think he has enough going on and this is something bw him and her and i need to take myself out of it."

You are married to this man, how does it not have anything to do with you? Is it not going to affect you?

 

"its like i want to be with him, but i don't. i need him, but i need to be without him."

I really think you need to see a counselor. You depend on him to make you happy.

What is he going to have to do to get you to get ahold of your life and walk away from this trashy mess he has gotten you both into? commit murder?

 

Please don't be one of those women who stays with the worthless husband as he fathers children outside of his marriage because you are afraid of being alone...YOU GET ONE LIFE, AND THATS IT! YOU CAN BE HAPPY, OR YOU CAN BE MISERABLE.

 

I completely agree with the above from Crayon.

 

You cannot fix him. You cannot fix the marriage by yourself.

 

He will be fixated on the OW even more now, as she is possibly carrying his first child. He will want to be involved, he will want to be there. And he should. He chose to have UNPROTECTED sex with another woman. For the love of God, GET AN STD check since you have had sex with him since his last encounter with her.

 

He isn't the man you once knew. He isn't the man you married. That man is GONE. GONE. The marriage as you knew it is GONE. It cannot ever go back to what it once was.

 

He is going to be a father -- and that changes everything.

 

If you continue to stay, well....... don't complain. I mean, you are choosing to put yourself in this misery because you don't want him to forget you, you want him to remember you...

 

He has done the ultimate in betrayal -- he has gotten another woman, who already has 2 children by 2 different men, pregnant.

 

Yes, it is scary to be on your own. But better to be stuck in a relationship where there is no trust, where you are going to be sharing him with the OW and a baby. The OW he constantly compared you to; the OW he wasn't sure he wanted to give up. NOW she is pregnant!

 

Run - and run far far away from this disaster.

 

HE made this mess. Let him clean it up.

[jwi71]

You know, at some point, people get angry. I mean seeing red furious. Not seeing that here. And this has been going on for MONTHS per the OP.

 

At this point even Gandhi would be foaming at the mouth pissed.

 

So we have either have the world's first human invertebrate...

 

or a troll.

 

Credibility has been stretched beyond the norm...