cyanide_catharsis Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 hi again everyone, sorry for filling these boards with so many posts, but the input that i get from everyone on here has really been helping me. i have had no contact with my ex for over a month now. still having a VERY hard time dealing with it, but i think i am slowly getting better. i think i have managed in the past couple days to go 5 WHOLE MINUTES without thinking about her in a day. haha, sounds pathetic, but this is definitely a personal victory for me. anyways, i can tell that i am moving on by using NC, but it kind of makes me sad in a way. after all, I was the one that ended things between us. she officially ended our "relationship", by telling me that she was going through some personal stuff and felt like having a boyfriend was too much pressure for her. but she kept me on as a friend. we still spent all of our time together and stayed in constant contact for a month and a half just "as friends". eventually, it got to be too much for me, so i told her i could not take having her in my life anymore because it was just hurting me too much. i was just being honest, but it ended kind of messily. lately, i've been wondering if i did the right thing. and the fact that i am getting over her makes me kind of upset. it's sad to think that she is not going to be in my life anymore. i've thought about contacting her to let her know this, but i feel like i'm not ready to talk to her. any input on what i should do? did i make the right decision? any chance she is going to contact me? i know that i'm not over her yet because i still am waiting for her to contact me. any advice is greatly appreciated!
ADF Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 You weren't the dumper, she was. All that stuff about how she was going through some "personal stuff," how having a Bf was "too much pressure," was a bunch of rubbish. The truth is, she didn't want to be with you anymore but didn't want to tell you the real reason. If she really wanted to be with you, she would have sought your support her as she worked out her "personal stuff." She wouldn't have wanted you to go away. That's absurd. Your GF lied to you. Or at least she wasn't telling you the whole truth. I don't know what the whole truth is, but I know you haven't heard it yet.
Jordane Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 I think it's a bad time to contact her right now. Maybe you should give it at least another month...when you're not thinking about her for 10 minutes. It's okay to be sad about losing a person that was important in your life but we can't run back to everyone we lose for this reason or the other. The best thing for you to do now is to keep healing.
Author cyanide_catharsis Posted June 14, 2010 Author Posted June 14, 2010 ya, i kind of figured she was lying to me. i just don't understand why she still constantly called and texted and came over to hang out with me after she told me that she didn't want a boyfriend anymore.
ADF Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 i just don't understand why she still constantly called and texted and came over to hang out with me after she told me that she didn't want a boyfriend anymore. Because she was genuinely conflicted. Although she didn't want to be with you overall, there were no doubt moments when she felt some affection for you. That's not unusual. But it's not enough.
Author cyanide_catharsis Posted June 14, 2010 Author Posted June 14, 2010 thank you all for the advice. i guess i did the right thing by going NC? and i guess i should continue to do so?
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