Jersey Shortie Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 Ugg.. It is one of my bigget pet peaves when people sprout Hallmark romantic crap like "age is just a number". It's really not. It is a factor to consider in life just like any other component. I know there are jaded perspectives here; I'm taking everything with a grain of salt, don't worry. When I said "unbiased", it was with tongue in cheek. Not jaded. Experienced. And you did get "unbiased" opinions because none of us know you enough to make a biased opinion on this matter. The advice you got is based on our own personal experiences or what we've seen of life. You want to call it jaded and that kind of shows your lack of maturity and your youth. But, your mind was more then partially made up on this issue. Good luck with the questionable creepy 28 year old.
Mimolicious Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 Age range demographics... [FONT=TheSansLight-Plain][sIZE=2][COLOR=#845d3e][FONT=TheSansLight-Plain][sIZE=2][COLOR=#845d3e][FONT=TheSansLight-Plain][sIZE=2][COLOR=#845d3e]Under 21 21 - 28 29 - 34 35 - 40 41 - 46 47 - 55 55 - 64 65 & Over [/COLOR][/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/sIZE][/FONT]
Els Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 I know there are jaded perspectives here; I'm taking everything with a grain of salt, don't worry. When I said "unbiased", it was with tongue in cheek. I had my mind partially made up. I know I want to pursue it a bit further and see what happens. But I also know that others have valuable insights sometimes, and seeking advice can give me ideas for things to ask about, look into, and be on the watch for that I might not have thought of myself. And it helps cure me of the "heart leading my head" thing. Re: maturity, I'm sorry, but I didn't come here to argue about my maturity. I don't feel the need to prove myself. I provided the facts -- my interaction with adults as well as peers, my having worked full-time (not just part-time like many teens) in the "real world", etc -- so others could better help me and know that my situation is different from most; whether you wish to believe me when I say I'm more mature than most 18-year-olds is up to you and doesn't really matter to me. Background checks: I've been looking into him. I've found social profiles, his personal websites, etc. Nothing suspected yet, but I'm still being watchful. We had our first Skype date tonight. My gut instinct didn't tell me to get out of here yet, though I'm not completely sure whether I'm actually physically attracted to him or just mentally attracted, so we'll see how it goes. He might just end up a good friend for intellectual conversations. Regardless of how it goes, I appreciate the advice from all of you. Thank you. Sounds good. Btw, I know you stated you won't be having sex early, and while I have always advised women to just have sex when they feel the time is right, I honestly think in your case you should wait a little longer than that, even. Certainly not on the first visit. Reason for this is that MOST older men aim younger girls mainly for the sex, and you need him to prove otherwise. If he truly loves you, he will not mind waiting, especially as you are young and sexually inexperienced. I would say 6 months or 3+ visits, whichever is longer, will be a good timeline. Also, I'm sure you know safety protocol for visits - let him make the first visit, do not offer him your room for accommodation, meet in a public place first, etc.
aerogurl87 Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 bagheera I will give you my experience with my ex whom I dated a few months back who was 10 years older than me (and I'm 20 by the way). We started off as friends, as he knew me when I was with my ex, and then when my ex and I broke up we began to hang out. At first things went smoothly, because we got along so well and he was so mature (or so I thought). Eventually we decided to date although he was somewhat hesitant about it due to the age gap. About a month into dating things started going downhill. Sure he was intelligent, curious, and very philosophical like me but everything wasn't right. In time I found out he was 1) very emotionally screwed up and 2) extremely immature for a man his age. So within 4 months I broke up with him and found someone closer to my age eventually, my current boyfriend whose 18. So what's my point? My point is although he may sound good on paper, you won't really know how this guy is till you've interacted with him face to face and on a pretty regular basis. He could be saying all the right things now, but as time wears on his not so great qualities will come to light. So as many people here have mentioned, tread carefully with this one.
Green Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 bagheera I will give you my experience with my ex whom I dated a few months back who was 10 years older than me (and I'm 20 by the way). We started off as friends, as he knew me when I was with my ex, and then when my ex and I broke up we began to hang out. At first things went smoothly, because we got along so well and he was so mature (or so I thought). Eventually we decided to date although he was somewhat hesitant about it due to the age gap. About a month into dating things started going downhill. Sure he was intelligent, curious, and very philosophical like me but everything wasn't right. In time I found out he was 1) very emotionally screwed up and 2) extremely immature for a man his age. So within 4 months I broke up with him and found someone closer to my age eventually, my current boyfriend whose 18. So what's my point? My point is although he may sound good on paper, you won't really know how this guy is till you've interacted with him face to face and on a pretty regular basis. He could be saying all the right things now, but as time wears on his not so great qualities will come to light. So as many people here have mentioned, tread carefully with this one. I think the main reason you dated this man was because you WERE attracted to him. You stopped dating him because knwing him made you LOSE that attraction. The OP sounds like she may already be LOSING her attraction as she takes the next step in KNOWING him through skype.
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