Eoweniel Posted June 15, 2010 Posted June 15, 2010 I actually was at her house when she invited them over for a BBQ because they were working in the shop on their car for their vehicle research competition. It was kind of strange because I got along with them alright, I don't know them all that well, but I feel like I was able to "hang" so to speak. It wasn't like there was any real attachment from the guys though because after they were done eating, they just left and were like "well, see you at the shop" or something to that effect. A few of them have gfs already too. A few of them strike me as womanizers and I don't think they really treat her like an "option" because of her dating me and also her being "one of the guys" and she said that she has no interest in them. It is hard to "unbug" myself. What kind of recommendations would you have for me? First of all, Viking, I don't think that your fear is unreasonable or ridiculous, and even though I don't know your GF I can, if I compare her with myself, assume that you have no reason to worry, however. Think of it this way; Is SHE doing anything that's making you suspicious? If SHE doing anything that creates that certain gut feeling? Speaking of your gut, what is it telling you? If she is doing something to provoke attention you consider to be inappropriate, then maybe you should have a chat with her. If she's not... you should just relax. There really are some girls who are like that, despite what people say. They do not seek attention...they just don't have a woman's typical mindset and get along better with the gender that they, generally seaking ofcourse, have a lot in common with. Btw, you gamer girls; we should totally hook up and play WoW! Just to show some people in here that we're not attention-seeking whores!
Els Posted June 15, 2010 Posted June 15, 2010 We should! We're probably on different servers though, I'm on Oceanic ones. And I've been playing other games more than WoW these days.
Eoweniel Posted June 15, 2010 Posted June 15, 2010 We should! We're probably on different servers though, I'm on Oceanic ones. And I've been playing other games more than WoW these days. Blah, I'm on Ravenholdt-US. Hmm... There's a bunch of other online games though... Diablo II, some shoot'em up or there's always good ol' XBL Hehe.
Viking Posted June 15, 2010 Posted June 15, 2010 Bring them to your 'territory'. This is what a dominant male does to manage other males who might otherwise be suspected of being interlopers. Develop rapport with them on *your turf* and with *your interests* as priority. Friends share each others interests. Maybe a couple of them can help you do some work on *your car*. I'm sure it will go swimmingly. The gals will hang out in the house. Your GF does enjoy other women, right? That would be kind of a good idea. I do have a nice house that I live at with two roommates and I have a WWII Jeep that I am restoring that my GF has told them about. When I was talking to one of them, I mentioned it and he said that my GF had already told them about it. I bet that they'd like to see it however. Maybe a welcome back BBQ would be a good way to establish my territory so to speak. First of all, Viking, I don't think that your fear is unreasonable or ridiculous, and even though I don't know your GF I can, if I compare her with myself, assume that you have no reason to worry, however. Think of it this way; Is SHE doing anything that's making you suspicious? If SHE doing anything that creates that certain gut feeling? Speaking of your gut, what is it telling you? If she is doing something to provoke attention you consider to be inappropriate, then maybe you should have a chat with her. If she's not... you should just relax. There really are some girls who are like that, despite what people say. They do not seek attention...they just don't have a woman's typical mindset and get along better with the gender that they, generally seaking ofcourse, have a lot in common with. Btw, you gamer girls; we should totally hook up and play WoW! Just to show some people in here that we're not attention-seeking whores! I don't think I have any reason to doubt her or her commitment other than she has been so busy that she has said that she doesn't have a lot of time to put into our relationship and feels bad because she feels like she is using me. I am not one really to be "used" but I can get a little emotionally involved and can wind up wrapped around a finger if I am not careful. Deep down, my gut tells me that she isn't ready for a "serious" relationship right now because of how much stuff she is involved in and because I have more time, the relationship gradually has become more of a 70%-30% or so sort of deal. She likes me, but I don't like the fact that she doesn't say so. I told her that I was going to miss her when she was gone and all I got in return was a hug and an "ahhh" kind of cooing sound. I know she understands me, but I feel like I am slipping into the whiner/wiener side of the relationship sometimes because I do express how I feel. Her last BF talked about marriage at the 9 month mark. I have yet to do that. I think too deep of a commitment might scare her for some reason. Maybe she was hurt in the past? I don't know. All I know is that I am trying not to come across as desperate, needy and worst of all, jealous of her free time activities. I tell myself that she's with me for a reason and that she has known all of those guys longer than me (most of them anyway) and that if she really didn't actually enjoy my company, person and the relationship, we wouldn't be together for 9 months.
janie423 Posted June 15, 2010 Posted June 15, 2010 There might possibly be a correlation between women with predominantly male friends and family constellation. I'm thinking that women with many brothers (and no sisters) and/or who live in close proximity to males cousins may interact easier with males just out of habit. She may not even have a preference for male company, it just might be easier for her. That's why blanket judgements about a person's behavior is never wise.
BS76 Posted June 15, 2010 Posted June 15, 2010 I don't think I have any reason to doubt her or her commitment other than she has been so busy that she has said that she doesn't have a lot of time to put into our relationship and feels bad because she feels like she is using me. I am not one really to be "used" but I can get a little emotionally involved and can wind up wrapped around a finger if I am not careful. Deep down, my gut tells me that she isn't ready for a "serious" relationship right now because of how much stuff she is involved in and because I have more time, the relationship gradually has become more of a 70%-30% or so sort of deal. She likes me, but I don't like the fact that she doesn't say so. I told her that I was going to miss her when she was gone and all I got in return was a hug and an "ahhh" kind of cooing sound. This casts a whole new light on things. Time for some tough love: You're not in an exclusive relationship with her. She's either boinking other guys or is playing fast and loose with her affections towards other men for attention and/or favors from them. You're best bet is to withdraw your attention and commitment until you reach an equal level of investment that she has for the "relationship". Only then will you have a clear view of where things truly stand.
MrNate Posted June 15, 2010 Posted June 15, 2010 Honestly, the list is endless. Essentially there's nothing I haven't played. Big favourites include the Resident Evil-saga, Neverwinter Nights (and all the other games of that saga, Baldur's gate/Icewind dale etc)... Metal gear solid-series, WoW and similar MMO's although WoW is my only MMO currently. Uhm, stuff like Assassin's Creed, Splinter Cell, SILENT HILL, Tomb Raider (yes, I love the places you get to see), older stuff like the Quake saga, Duke Nukem, Hexen-series, Doom (old and new), Unreal tournament, Soldier of fortune, Half-life series... >.> Dino crisis, all those fighting games occasionally. Not a huge Final Fantasy-fan, but it works, pre FF7 anyway. Honestly...I could go on for hours, and as that's OT I'll stop. As for the rest of you; It's equally catty of you to make the generalization that there's only 2 types of girls who hang out with men and that they're only exclusive. I'm completely number one, but that still doesn't mean I look like a butch lesbian. I know there are nice girls out there. Not all girls are catty. But the vast majority that *I* have met, are catty. Then again, I RARELY meet girls of the aforementioned Type 1, so that might be why I can't get along with them. Very nice! lol i've played most of those. This is OT, but do you happen to play League of Legends?
Author portical96 Posted June 15, 2010 Author Posted June 15, 2010 Alright, I started this thread. Here is some extra information: all parties involved are military stationed stateside. I ask this question because having all male friends is almost unavoidable and I wonder how I am percieved by friends and family. I don't put out for all these guys, is it believable that they are like my big brothers? Concidering our work?
climbergirl Posted June 15, 2010 Posted June 15, 2010 First of all, Viking, I don't think that your fear is unreasonable or ridiculous, and even though I don't know your GF I can, if I compare her with myself, assume that you have no reason to worry, however. Think of it this way; Is SHE doing anything that's making you suspicious? If SHE doing anything that creates that certain gut feeling? Speaking of your gut, what is it telling you? If she is doing something to provoke attention you consider to be inappropriate, then maybe you should have a chat with her. If she's not... you should just relax. There really are some girls who are like that, despite what people say. They do not seek attention...they just don't have a woman's typical mindset and get along better with the gender that they, generally seaking ofcourse, have a lot in common with. Btw, you gamer girls; we should totally hook up and play WoW! Just to show some people in here that we're not attention-seeking whores! I tried WOW for awhile...I think I needed some power leveling tho, cuz it was so hard to start from the bottom when I had a 94 rogue neglected elsewhere. (LC-no P2P) Have you played Guild Wars? I've leveled enough to hold my own in that one!
Viking Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 This casts a whole new light on things. Time for some tough love: You're not in an exclusive relationship with her. She's either boinking other guys or is playing fast and loose with her affections towards other men for attention and/or favors from them. You're best bet is to withdraw your attention and commitment until you reach an equal level of investment that she has for the "relationship". Only then will you have a clear view of where things truly stand. Here's the thing though, she isn't having sex with other guys. I know this. She was either working, in class, studying or working in the lab on the car that is in the competition. She isn't playing fast and loose either. I don't have the suspicion that she is and she isn't really the type to do that. I've been dating her since September, so I do have a decent grasp on her values. How would someone withdraw from the relationship to match their partner? I really care about her and want her to know that, I just want her to want to spend more time with me I guess.
Eeyore79 Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 I'm a girl who has mostly guy friends. I studied scientific subjects at college, so my classmates were mostly guys. I work in a male dominated field, I play computer games... I don't have much in common with a lot of women. I'm happy to be friends with women, it's just that I don't come across many who I really get on with. My few female friends aren't really the girly, catty, silly type - they're usually sensible, tomboyish women who also work in the same male dominated field as myself. I'm happy for my boyfriend to meet any of my male friends and be introduced as my partner - in fact my male friends usually have girlfriends of their own who I am acquainted with. I resent the suggestion that I am slutty or flirtatious simply because I happen to meet more men than women, because of my job and hobbies etc - I am friends with them, and nothing more.
janie423 Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 You're not in an exclusive relationship with her. She's either boinking other guys or is playing fast and loose with her affections towards other men for attention and/or favors from them. WTF? Is this what you think women are all about? Some women are committed to their careers.
thegoodlife Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 Alright, I started this thread. Here is some extra information: all parties involved are military stationed stateside. I ask this question because having all male friends is almost unavoidable and I wonder how I am percieved by friends and family. I don't put out for all these guys, is it believable that they are like my big brothers? Concidering our work? To the OP, considering your line of work it's expected you will hang mostly around men. I think like most people mentioned, it only starts to raise red flags for people when the woman has no female friends whatsoever, or doesn't get along with anyone else from the same gender. In your case, it's just the fact of your surroundings.
gypsy_nicky Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 All my friends are guys. I have only 1 close girl friend. Few other girl friends I see time to time. My bf was okay with it at first, then it started to bother him. Then he met them all and saw how we acted around each other and he saw that there was nothing going on. I dont like girls, they're too catty and vindictive. And they usually don't get my sick jokes like my guy friends do lol. Annnd I'm deff not an attention whore. I'm actually pretty anti-social. anti social?! Do you break the law or something? Like what the people here are saying, its very peculiar for females to not have female friends (same goes with males without male friends, unless they have no friends altogether). Its peculiar because women are generally raised to be more affiliating than men. I had a female co-worker once tell me she had mostly guy friends. I think she just did it to brag because most of her friends that came in (to visit her) and the co-workers she hung out with were female.
pantherj Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 What I find funny about the way people judge this is the judgment of the reverse. Say it was a guy like this. Never slept with any of his female friends, no flirting, all his female friends warmly welcome whomever he brings around..... He'd be tagged gay. But a woman? no no no, she's gotta be the attention whoring poker night meat. Do you know any straight guys like that?
pantherj Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 In my home town, some attractive girls, when single, will befriend and hang out with several guys. There are certain factors involved: - She isn't interested in dating them. - They are hoping to god that she will become interested. - They are happy to come running when she calls them to hang out. - They compete for her attention, and flatter her at any chance. - She will get rid of them when a guy from outside the group swoops in to date her. This cycle is so common in my home town that even the dumbest guys are catching on.
akeshabelle Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 Women who have almost entirely all male friends are attention whores. Not a doubt in my mind. That's bull****. I grew up in a street full of boys, up until the time I was 20 when I moved out of home. I learnt to grow with boys and got on better with them. We spent our days playing football at the park. When I started school having a female friend was foreign territory to me, the only other female I had really associated with since I was 3 was my mom. I find I can be myself a lot more around boys/men. I can tell crude jokes and not be judged, I can speak my mind and earn respect rather than being asked "Like, what's your problem?".
Eoweniel Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 Very nice! lol i've played most of those. This is OT, but do you happen to play League of Legends? Oh, isn't it that new game? Well, fairly new... from late 09 IIRC. I think I've tried it yes, but didn't get too caught up in it. Was interesting though. Climbergirl: Yep, I've tried GW, but like you said, it's hard to start up another MMO realizing that all your other chars are waiting, so I just went back to WoW. Btw, come to think of it... My dad has my kind of humor so we always hung around eachother... Mom I can talk to, sure, but she's just mostly serious. Also, I pretty much grew up with my male cousin. Ever since I was 5, he brought me into the world of games and such... And all the kids in my neighbourhood that DIDN'T treat me differently because of my disability...were honestly the boys.
jen_r Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 anti social?! Do you break the law or something? Yes, by anti-social I meant I ~break the law. Except, not quite.
phineas Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 In my home town, some attractive girls, when single, will befriend and hang out with several guys. There are certain factors involved: - She isn't interested in dating them. - They are hoping to god that she will become interested. - They are happy to come running when she calls them to hang out. - They compete for her attention, and flatter her at any chance. - She will get rid of them when a guy from outside the group swoops in to date her. This cycle is so common in my home town that even the dumbest guys are catching on. What amazes me is this behavior knows no age limit. There is an attractive fit women in their early 40's at work with ton's of guy friends who work on her house, fix her car ect. You listen to her talk & if she has a problem she just calls "so & so" & he's right over fixing what's broken. You listen to the other women I know & they tell me she either is liar or she has A LOT of guy friends or she keeps making new ones when the old ones wise up because she is always mentioning new "friends" She tried ropeing me into coming over to work on her computer. I told her to bring it into work & it would cost $60 to fix. Strangely, she never brought it in & found someone else to fix it for her. I avoid these women like the plague.
carhill Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 Yep, Hoovers. I put the word out amongst my circle of very skilled males to charge stbx usual and customary fees for 'fixing' things. Her family has Hoovered me enough, as 'friends'. This is a behavior I find quite common amongst a certain subset of females, coincidentally whom always seem to have a large circle of orbiting males. Social mind-f*cking at its best.
phineas Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 Yep, Hoovers. I put the word out amongst my circle of very skilled males to charge stbx usual and customary fees for 'fixing' things. Her family has Hoovered me enough, as 'friends'. This is a behavior I find quite common amongst a certain subset of females, coincidentally whom always seem to have a large circle of orbiting males. Social mind-f*cking at its best. Did they at least feed you or offer you a beer when you did some work for them? When I was in my early 20's I installed a car radio for a girl in my class right after exams. I never heard from her again. We talked, hung out, studied together ect while in class. Then *poof* It really, really,really sucked when I realized she was just using me. That was my 1st lesson of the 500 total it probably took for me to figure those women out. LOL! My true friends..I'd have to throw down to avoid beer & a grilled steak.
carhill Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 My firm rule of thumb is 'equivalency'. It goes without saying if friends are over helping me the ice chest is full of beer and the BBQ is running. That's a no brainer. You feed and beverage the crew. The equivalency is that, when they need or ask for help, I fit them into my schedule. I'm not 'too busy'. Hoovers always have something else going on or 'can't make it' for some reason or have suddenly lost all brain capacity for learning (the 'ignorance' defense). Bye-bye
cdubs32 Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 If she isnt a flirt with them, isnt dating or sleeping with them, and they all seem to treat her very well and you are a interested man that doesnt really know her yet, what are your thoughts? lets say the man friends dont interfere with you or your interest for her, or perhaps support it. Well going only off my generalization, experience, and stereotypes....I'd be wary of a woman with all guy friends, but I wouldn't rule her out, it woud just be in the back of my mind as to "why does she only have a lot of guy friends and still single?" -She could be a major flirt/hussy/banging them -She has a hard time making friends with women -She just likes attention -I'd wonder why none of her guy friends ever tried to date her, as in "what is wrong with her that none of these guys pursued her?"
jen_r Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 This thread is really obnoxious. I'm a whore, I love attention, I use guys to boost my self-esteem, I'm a flirt and I let them circle jerk on me. WOO Fun times ahead this weekend!!!
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