casey001 Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 Hey all I need a bit of help with this guy who is driving me insane!! About six weeks ago my male mate decided to set me up with his best friend (whom I had never met before). We had a few drinks and a chat and seemed to get on quite well. He left the next day to fly out of the city for work for the next six weeks. I didnt hear from him after that one 'date' and just assumed he wasn't interested. However his best mate insisted he was keen but very shy. Anyway while he has been away I have hardly heard a thing besides the odd facebook comment and a strangly sweet message on my birthday. I also havent been contacting him as I don't want to seem overly desperate. Now the six weeks is up and he is back at home, yet he has been here for two weeks and I haven't heard a thing. I asked his best mate what was up and again he insisted he was very shy and would never make the first move and encouraged me to contact him. Today is his birthday and Im wondering If I should go out of my way to contact him and say happy birthday when he clearly isn't bothered to go out of his way to contact me. Normally I would give up and realise this guy wasn't keen but his best mate still insists he is!! What should I do? Contact him or just let it go and move on?? Thoughts
MisUnderstanding Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 You like him? Then you can certainly say "Happy Birthday". It's not that hard. You can even ask him out yourself. Worst thing is that he can say "no" and you can move on.
seekandfind Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 If you like this guy, there is really no harm in sending a simple, sweet message/text like: "Happy birthday -blank-! Hope it's a good one =)". When replies saying thanks, you can continue the conversation by asking how he has been, yada yada. But if he can't manage to display any interest at this point, then I would definitely forget about him.
Author casey001 Posted June 14, 2010 Author Posted June 14, 2010 Ya the whole reason Im so stuck on this simple issue is that I REALLY liked him! Hes the first guy I have really liked in a while. This is guna sound absolutly insane and unhealthy but I have thought about him everyday since I met him. I just cant seem to get him out of my mind!!! But like I mentioned before he hasn't made the slightest effort with me which would indicate hes not interested and prehaps even a but rude? I have had issues with coming onto guys in the past when they are clearly not interested and really don't want to make the same mistake again!!
mortensorchid Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 Nothing wrong with saying "Happy Birthday" to him, but in this case I woudln't. You're putting yourself out there as interested, that may discourage him even more. But honestly, as so much time has passed since your first get together, he's just not interested so you should just move on.
deux ex machina Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 Giving him a Happy Birthday would be sweet -- he gave you one, so I say that sets a precedent!
Author casey001 Posted June 14, 2010 Author Posted June 14, 2010 Ah haha now Im torn!! I agree with you mortensorchid, I dont want to put my self out there and discourage him and make a fool of myself. However he did send me a random sweet message on my birthday about a month and a half ago!! I really really like this guy and actually cant get him out of my head. All my instincts are telling me hes not keen but his best mate keeps insisting he is but very shy!!
seekandfind Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 How is a simple message going to make a fool out of you? Simply see how reacts to your message and then from there you can act accordingly and see if he is still interested at all. Although I think if he really is interested still, but is just super shy and hasn't managed to contact you, then that does say something about the proficiency of his social skills!
norajane Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 Go ahead and wish him a happy birthday. You have nothing to lose, nothing at all.
Author casey001 Posted June 14, 2010 Author Posted June 14, 2010 Ok thanks everyone I will wish him a happy birthday and let you know if I get anything in return! Thankks for your advice
Itzonator Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 Hey all I need a bit of help with this guy who is driving me insane!! About six weeks ago my male mate decided to set me up with his best friend (whom I had never met before). We had a few drinks and a chat and seemed to get on quite well. He left the next day to fly out of the city for work for the next six weeks. I didnt hear from him after that one 'date' and just assumed he wasn't interested. However his best mate insisted he was keen but very shy. Anyway while he has been away I have hardly heard a thing besides the odd facebook comment and a strangly sweet message on my birthday. I also havent been contacting him as I don't want to seem overly desperate. Now the six weeks is up and he is back at home, yet he has been here for two weeks and I haven't heard a thing. I asked his best mate what was up and again he insisted he was very shy and would never make the first move and encouraged me to contact him. Today is his birthday and Im wondering If I should go out of my way to contact him and say happy birthday when he clearly isn't bothered to go out of his way to contact me. Normally I would give up and realise this guy wasn't keen but his best mate still insists he is!! What should I do? Contact him or just let it go and move on?? Thoughts Move on, since you do not have any feelings for him (at least not anymore) so if you call him for the birthday it will send the wrong message that you "like him" rather than, just for politeness. Let it go. His emotions' are kicking, and he does not know how to express them in the first place. Shyness is the real enemy to get into the relationship, isolation follows & self-destruction is inevitable. This has nothing to do with you.
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