Not strong enough Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 Well It's a really long story, so please be patient. It all started about 2 months ago. We went to see a movie and get dinner. I run a small business so I didn't take her out as much as I should have though we did do this alot, even it was starting to become routine and I could tell it was bothering her. I was trying to spice things up but not quickly enough. We went to dinner to start with and everything was fine. She made a comment that upset me, looking back i can't even remeber it, and me trying to hurt her back said something back. This continued and she said she had thought of breaking up with me and this hurt. She started to well up with tears and I felt badly. We got through dinner. The whole movie we didnt talk. I just kept thinking what if she wants someone else, what if she already has been seeing someone else. By the time we got back to her house, we were both crying and decided this was it. We gave each other one last hug and one last kiss. Well I realized very quickly that even though I was mad at the time, i needed her. So we set up a meeting, a week after the break up, though she was trying to act tuff when i saw her, she couldnt take it either, and within 30 minutes things were back to normal. I was so happy, and continued to be happy. Things were really good for the next 2 weeks for the most part. Just like old times. Her family went out to a local lake/campground. I came but a few hours after they got there. When I got there, her friend was there with her boyfriend. Well he brought all his friends, and one just was looking at me strangely, but i didnt think anything of it. From that day on she began to act strange. She kept txting someone but wouldnt let me see who. This was really unlike her, she just kept saying it was her friend and her and her boyfriend were having issues and she was trying to help and that i should stop being so paranoid, and that i had been ever since we got back together. Well this happend over 2 weeks, and we went to a cousin of mines graduation party. On the car ride there, she was being normal but It was memorial day weekend and i told her i didn't know if i would be working memorial day because UPS wouldnt be shipping. She says, "O you need the money, you should open up". I was shocked, this wasnt my girlfriend, she normally is attached to my hip. Well after i asked her, she was planning on going over to her friends boyfriends house to go swimming with her and him. Well this was strange but it didn't sink in yet. This girl and her are attached at the him. And from the last break up we agreed that we should do things with out friends more because we never did over the last 2 years of our relationship. Well we get to the party and theres this puppy there, she loves animals. Well shes still doing this txting thing where she wont let me see who and keeps saying its her friend. Well she was playing with the puppy and txting and i look over her sholder, and it says chase. This isnt her friends name, but i didnt freak out right then because its not uncommon for her to talk to guys she doesnt get along well with very many females, she has about 3 female friends. What through me off, is when i asked her, your friend (wont mention the name) txting you again, she said yes. I was shocked because she never lies to me. If we had one thing we always had trust. Well I see his name in another txt message. I ask her again and she lies again. Well I confront her and she tells me that ive been acting paranoid and she didnt want me to freak out in public. So I leave it alone until we get home and I confront her again. She sticks to her story. So I said look just lemme see the txt and if its harmless then I'll apologize. She won't let me see it and starts fighting me and getting defensive. She starts yelling at me to take her home so I do and i keep begging her to not let this happen and to just let me see it, and i get angry and break down and start yelling. Well she finally tells me that it wasnt harmless and lets me see and there are tons of txt's to him calling him sexy and so on and so forth. We get back to her house and she asks me so wat now are we gonna break up again. I said in anger what else do u wanna do, but in not so nice of words. This whole time she looked cold. She starts telling me shes sorry she likes him and she doesnt love him. (this is one of her best friends boyfriends friends that she met at the lake before i got there) That she will quit talking to him, but she just looks cold and i said you dont love me you couldnt do this is you loved me. She says im sorry and that ill find someone better. This is after 2 years of a loving relationship and i just cant believe it. She gets out of the truck and walks away back into her house. Over the next day i txt her still angry but asking why what did i do. Well tuesday comes the day after memorial day and her step dad comes to talk to me. He helps and we figure out that, i was just in a different stage of life than her and didnt let her live her life out the way she needed too. I tried to make her grow up to fast. That i should give her alittle time and let her see what its like. Go back and try to talk things out and try to compromise. Well I went 2 weeks no contact and it was eating me up. So I called her one day and arranged to take some of the things that were just too painful of reminders of her back to her, so maybe it wouldnt tear me up so bad. I wrote a letter, not to reconcile but to just say "whats up" and that if she ever wants to try to talk about things i forgive her and im sorry. Well I went over there she came out with this cold look. It wasnt even the same girl. She wouldnt talk to me. I asked her to atleast read the letter. She did and txt me, saying its over, i dont want you back please leave me alone , im sorry im so cold but i have to be. Please bring back some other stuff as well. Well It tore me up i called someone who knows her as well as i do. Well she hasnt been sad, shes just been going out with that guy as much as possible lying to her parents. Hasnt said anything about me but i wont leave her alone, which i havent contacted her. I know she still loves me and shes trying to cover it up, thats what she tried to do last time. But im worried that shes gonna do stupid things trying to get over me. That she knows if she talks to me she will fall right back into it with me. I dont know what to do though. She refuses to talk to me. I can't go without her and its just getting worse, i now have nightmare about her being with other guys. Do I wait and see if one day it sinks in, or am i wrong and its really over, someone help.
Guitarjeff Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 It's over,move on. No choice,she dumped you. Do you think others dump people vastly different? Nope. She dumped you and the WORST thing you can do is contact her and show any weakness. Your only hope is to show her you don't need her and that you are strong and have no problem dumping her. That is your only hope to ever get her back. It's horribly unattractive to them to see weakness when their new guy is strong and confident. The worst thing you can do is to call her, ask her to come back or anything, do you understand this?
Author Not strong enough Posted June 14, 2010 Author Posted June 14, 2010 Well, she didn't dump me, i broke it off with her both times. I just wish i hadn't last time, i might have worded it wrong. Though she did seem cold about it at the time, I think that initial cold feeling i got was because she was scared because she had never seen me react like that. Now she's doing what she did last time and trying to forget about me by going out. Which I must say she is better at than me. Maybe your right, but i really hope not.
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