portical96 Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 (edited) Im 23 hes 33 we work in the same company on differant teams. hes a supervisor im not so we'd have to be careful. He is divorced with a child that lives with his ex, reserved and confident with a strong and mature prescence. We have some awkward tension, frequent and prolonged eye contact and sporadic interaction. and im seeing alot of signs of interest but its complicated because neither of us can come on too strong. weve seen eachother twice at a bar and talked some, hes made an effort to sit with me even though the conversation was nervous, awkward and not allowed. he fidgets and cant hold eye contact, but still makes the efforts. He shook my hand when he left though. my question is how to flirt with him so that he knows im serious, wont get him in trouble, and am not looking for a casual hookup or a white picket fence. i think im normal and mature for my age and ive never had a problem getting or keeping a man. i want to keep my self respect, and i will be able to sleep at night whether this works or not. Im genuinally curious and interested in him and his minor unavailablity doesnt phase me either way. He has my number but hasnt used it. any thoughts or advice? i.e. how much of the initiating of conversation at work should i be responsible for as i dont want to throw myself at him to see if ill stick... oh, also worth noting. ive had interest for and dated men 7-13 years older than me since i was 16. My family and friends know this of me and have no apprehensions as it just seems right for my personality and lifestyle. Edited June 13, 2010 by portical96
Philetus Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 From his perspective, he has to be careful since you work under him. So, it's hard for him to be bold if he's not sure how you feel. I've been in his position - flirting with women who are my subordinates or whom I have status over. I think you have to take the initiative. When he's flirting with you, grab his hand, make eye contact and tell him, 'it's alright', meaning, 'it's alright to flirt with you, you like him'. If I were you, I'd be honest and open about what you're looking for. "Hey, I like you. I'd like to see you outside work but I am NOT looking for something casual. I don't want to hook up. If that's something you're interested in, give me a call outside work." You may want to start the conversation with something like.... "I may be wrong but I get the impression you would like us to be more than co-workers." That gives him an out while allowing you to save face if he's not - or can't be - interested. Good luck.
Itzonator Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 Forget about what you think he thinks portical96. You like him, test it. If the taste is sour, buy another lemon.
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