5105571 Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 So I met her, she's a friend of a friend, and we've been chatting here and there. Every time I ask her out she's got another excuse: "I've got finals coming up" or "I've got plans" she even told me she still lives with her parents and they are a strict family and that they like to meet the guys she dates (which isn't a big deal). This is where you would say "she's not interested." But she always responds when I contact her and she gets just a little flirty right about the time I start losing interest and don't really talk to her that much. Texting me with "hey handsome," and "I wanted to see how you're doing and chat" stuff like that. I've asked her out probably about five times, and she's even said "yes" to me on the condition that her other plans fell through...and they didn't. It's gotten to the point that I asked her if I should stop asking her out and she says: "No, no I'm sure we can find a day." I find it hard to believe she's busy...she just finished her college classes and has no job. I work full-time, and I've been WAY more flexible. This is what I think: 1. She isn't interested in dating me but likes the attention 2. She's keeping me on the back-burner because there's another guy. 3. She may not be sure about me and/or might be self-conscious about her family situation. Before anyone says "move on," it's not like I've put my life on hold in any way (writing this is the most time I've even spent thinking about it), but it is still annoying and it is part of my never-ending attempts to understand women.
Confusedalways Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 So I met her, she's a friend of a friend, and we've been chatting here and there. Every time I ask her out she's got another excuse: "I've got finals coming up" or "I've got plans" she even told me she still lives with her parents and they are a strict family and that they like to meet the guys she dates (which isn't a big deal). This is where you would say "she's not interested." But she always responds when I contact her and she gets just a little flirty right about the time I start losing interest and don't really talk to her that much. Texting me with "hey handsome," and "I wanted to see how you're doing and chat" stuff like that. I've asked her out probably about five times, and she's even said "yes" to me on the condition that her other plans fell through...and they didn't. It's gotten to the point that I asked her if I should stop asking her out and she says: "No, no I'm sure we can find a day." I find it hard to believe she's busy...she just finished her college classes and has no job. I work full-time, and I've been WAY more flexible. This is what I think: 1. She isn't interested in dating me but likes the attention 2. She's keeping me on the back-burner because there's another guy. 3. She may not be sure about me and/or might be self-conscious about her family situation. Before anyone says "move on," it's not like I've put my life on hold in any way (writing this is the most time I've even spent thinking about it), but it is still annoying and it is part of my never-ending attempts to understand women. Bingo. I'm guessing it's either option 1 or 2 and it's unlikely that it's option 3. If I'm into a guy I will rearrange something in my schedule to go out with him, maybe not the first or second time but after asking FIVE TIMES. If she doesn't counter offer [ie: how about wednesday instead of tuesday?] then she probably is neutral and/or totally uninterested. She's playing with you, straight up. I sense that you get this though, and the tone of your post indicates you know she's just not that into you.
Itzonator Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 So I met her, she's a friend of a friend, and we've been chatting here and there. Every time I ask her out she's got another excuse: "I've got finals coming up" or "I've got plans" she even told me she still lives with her parents and they are a strict family and that they like to meet the guys she dates (which isn't a big deal). This is where you would say "she's not interested." But she always responds when I contact her and she gets just a little flirty right about the time I start losing interest and don't really talk to her that much. Texting me with "hey handsome," and "I wanted to see how you're doing and chat" stuff like that. I've asked her out probably about five times, and she's even said "yes" to me on the condition that her other plans fell through...and they didn't. It's gotten to the point that I asked her if I should stop asking her out and she says: "No, no I'm sure we can find a day." I find it hard to believe she's busy...she just finished her college classes and has no job. I work full-time, and I've been WAY more flexible. This is what I think: 1. She isn't interested in dating me but likes the attention 2. She's keeping me on the back-burner because there's another guy. 3. She may not be sure about me and/or might be self-conscious about her family situation. Before anyone says "move on," it's not like I've put my life on hold in any way (writing this is the most time I've even spent thinking about it), but it is still annoying and it is part of my never-ending attempts to understand women. There is nothing to figure out. You do not solve girls like equations. You should allow your emotional states flow, they will tell you a great deal of the person next to you.
TaurusTerp Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 There is nothing to figure out. You do not solve girls like equations. You should allow your emotional states flow, they will tell you a great deal of the person next to you. And the award for most nonsensical, least useful advice goes to.... OP: Stop calling/answering. Once, twice, MAYBE three times I could understand, but 5 times without reciprocation is too much.
WintersNightTraveler Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 1. She isn't interested in dating me but likes the attention 2. She's keeping me on the back-burner because there's another guy. Door number one, or both door number one and two. You already knew the answer...
Author 5105571 Posted June 13, 2010 Author Posted June 13, 2010 Two times is actually my rule, but she's very good at leading me on. Like I said, I'll start forgetting about it, and she'll contact me out of nowhere, and tells me I shouldn't stop asking her out...girls generally don't do this. She keeps faking me out with interest. But apparently it's feigned, or she likes to have back-up plans. The other option would be hard-to-get, but if that's her angle, she's borderline retarded to keep this up for 3-4 weeks now.
Left in a Lurch Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 I could have written the exact same post. The girl I met a long time ago is the same way. I went almost 2 years without seeing her, bumped into her in a bar and she was grabbing all over me, grabbing my hand and trying to pull me everywhere she went and flirting heavily. All I can say is I look at her like a work friend, flirt all you want but at the end of the day don't think twice about her. If she texts you with something flirty, text back and tell her to "stop being a tease, it's too frustrating". She might find it mean but at the end of the day it is true and best to end the confusion for you.
deux ex machina Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 I could have written the exact same post. The girl I met a long time ago is the same way. I went almost 2 years without seeing her, bumped into her in a bar and she was grabbing all over me, grabbing my hand and trying to pull me everywhere she went and flirting heavily. All I can say is I look at her like a work friend, flirt all you want but at the end of the day don't think twice about her. If she texts you with something flirty, text back and tell her to "stop being a tease, it's too frustrating". She might find it mean but at the end of the day it is true and best to end the confusion for you. I really like this approach. I wouldn't try reading between the lines anymore.
sigurpol Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 Agree with most. Basically what I've "learned" (like most people.. it's common sense, really) is that when someone is being evasive, like this girl is your case, to forget it. If both sides are truly interested to hang out.. then that's it. You make time or sacrifices for that person. That's how EASY that works. If theres some pause, or hold up, (personally) I'm through. I honestly don't care if they text me back, saying hi, or "one day we'll figure something out". Please. I would go as far as to not even respond if I received another text. Kinda funny how people react when you finally stop responding to their shiz.
Confusedalways Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 Agree with most. Basically what I've "learned" (like most people.. it's common sense, really) is that when someone is being evasive, like this girl is your case, to forget it. If both sides are truly interested to hang out.. then that's it. You make time or sacrifices for that person. That's how EASY that works. If theres some pause, or hold up, (personally) I'm through. I honestly don't care if they text me back, saying hi, or "one day we'll figure something out". Please. I would go as far as to not even respond if I received another text. Kinda funny how people react when you finally stop responding to their shiz. I'd be willing to bet this girl would be blowing your phone up if you backed off, especially when she texts you things like 'hey handsome' or whatever.
jamal Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 You already know that it is either #1 or #2, or even both. Guess what you need is a solution to this predicament. I would say play hard to get to a point that she is yearning for you. At that point do not even ask her out for a date - tell her you wanna see her ASAP at your place. If she comes over you must lay some serious pipe. In a lot of cases, once you have screwed a woman it is now you who has an upper hand in the relationship. She will never dick you around again (pun intended).
Author 5105571 Posted June 15, 2010 Author Posted June 15, 2010 Maybe you guys are right, maybe not. But I think we all agree that I'll be much better off if I stopped playing into her bull**** game regardless of the outcome.
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