LoveLace Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 It's a popular question...but if I meet a guy who really seems into me and he suggests we should definitely get together again, how long might it take him to call? That was Friday night and today is just Sunday, but it's long enough for me to wonder if he's really going to call or not. I didn't get his number because my phone was dead and that's why I gave him mine. He kept saying "seriously, we should get together again, seriously..." and I agreed but we didn't specify when. I did make out with him after that for a couple of minutes, so I'm hoping that didn't somehow make him reluctant afterward...just saying some people might consider that going to fast...but I wanted to kiss him so I did. Anyway, after how many days should I figure I won't ever hear from him?
TouchedByViolet Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 As a general rule 1 week is a good amount of time for some sort of communication to happen. Don't read into the time between texts and calls too much. If he does contact you again just gauge his interest through conversation
Green Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 I believe the window is SMALL and from a guys perspective I always recomend calling THE DAY AFTER or at latest with in 48 hours of getting the contact info. Contact info goes STALE fast. YOU have to STRIKE while the iron is hot if you are a man. If he doesn't call soon YOU will probably lose interest so if he ever does call it will be his loss.
Author LoveLace Posted June 13, 2010 Author Posted June 13, 2010 I believe the window is SMALL and from a guys perspective I always recomend calling THE DAY AFTER or at latest with in 48 hours of getting the contact info. Contact info goes STALE fast. YOU have to STRIKE while the iron is hot if you are a man. If he doesn't call soon YOU will probably lose interest so if he ever does call it will be his loss. Well, it will be 48 hours soon. But your right, if more than 3 or 4 days go by I will start to forget about him and if he does call eventually I might not be very excited or surprised by it at that point..not to say I wouldn't interested anymore but the excitement I felt at meeting him will likely be worn off by then.
WTRanger Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 If you kissed him, he's a moron for not calling you back. It was a date, so kissing him isn't moving too fast. Even if it was a first date. It's not like you were dry humping him. If it were me, if the girl helped initiate the kiss or show clear signs she wanted a kiss, I'd take that as she's quite interested in me. I suspect, as in real life, you'll get hundreds of different answers for the time period. However, I have to agree with TouchedByViolet in that one week is usually a good marker before the next date. However, he should at least contact you within 3-4 days after. Even if it's not to set something up, he should contact you soon. This is the classic, if you act too fast you seem too clingy and if you don't act fast enough it seems as if you don't care.
Author LoveLace Posted June 13, 2010 Author Posted June 13, 2010 If you kissed him, he's a moron for not calling you back. It was a date, so kissing him isn't moving too fast. Even if it was a first date. It's not like you were dry humping him. If it were me, if the girl helped initiate the kiss or show clear signs she wanted a kiss, I'd take that as she's quite interested in me. I suspect, as in real life, you'll get hundreds of different answers for the time period. However, I have to agree with TouchedByViolet in that one week is usually a good marker before the next date. However, he should at least contact you within 3-4 days after. Even if it's not to set something up, he should contact you soon. This is the classic, if you act too fast you seem too clingy and if you don't act fast enough it seems as if you don't care. It actually was not a 1st date, it was the night I randomly met him...after talking and flirting for 2-3 hours. A week sounds reasonable. But I don't consider a guy "clingy" unless he's calling me 5 minutes after I give him my phone number (which happens quite often and drives me crazy, lol). If he called today, I would not consider that clingy at all. And it's not that I "won't care" after a while...but if more than a week goes by, we'd have to rekindle the chemistry because it probably wouldn't still be with me by then..
Feelin Frisky Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 He's probably taking cold showers and long walks not to do what he wants--call you (perhaps). It would make him look a little desperate and perhaps he'd like it to start off on what he feels is the right foot (which seems to be wrong in your case). You should probably hear from him Tuesday. That's a day before Wednesday (hump day) where most don't have solid plans for the coming weekend yet. I hope you get what you want. If you do see him again, tell him he is welcome to call and that perhaps you look forward to it.
Ariadne Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 He kept saying "seriously, we should get together again, seriously..." When guys say things vague like that that means they are just trying to be nice but no. But since you made out with him.. who knows. I'd say 80% you won't hear again. Oh, the window usually less than 24hrs, most likely they'd set the date right there with you.
Author LoveLace Posted June 13, 2010 Author Posted June 13, 2010 He's probably taking cold showers and long walks not to do what he wants--call you (perhaps). It would make him look a little desperate and perhaps he'd like it to start off on what he feels is the right foot (which seems to be wrong in your case). You should probably hear from him Tuesday. That's a day before Wednesday (hump day) where most don't have solid plans for the coming weekend yet. I hope you get what you want. If you do see him again, tell him he is welcome to call and that perhaps you look forward to it. That's what I wish I would have done the 1st time...I agreed about seeing him again, but I didn't bother to say "call me" or "yea, we should go out sometime"...unless you consider kissing him saying all of that, I don't know. Aside from that I didn't exactly make it seem that I was excited to see him again...it was just like, "Yea, I agree"...and I left it at that. I do confess that the night we met and talked, we talked a little about "attention" and what not and I DID say I don't like to feel smothered (as in a guy that has to be in my face and right next to me everywhere we go..that kind of thing has to be intermittent with me)...but knowing that about me, who know if that plays a factor in when he calls. Honestly Ad, guys that I've met and called me less than 24 hours later, have been the ones that ended up way to clingy for me. They always end up as the ones who just want to text me day in and day out or expect me to be available every night of my life to hang out with them. I'm glad the guy hasn't acted that fast. But now it's the point where I would like to hear from him soon.
allina Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 It has been my experience that guys that are interested always call the next day to say "It was great meeting you last night" and to set up a date. I think an exception might be if he's a little insecure/needs to play cool, then he might go with that 3 or 5 day nonsense.
SadandConfusedWA Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 From my dating observations, if a guy is really interested - 90% of the time he will call or text within 24 hours.
Author LoveLace Posted June 13, 2010 Author Posted June 13, 2010 It has been my experience that guys that are interested always call the next day to say "It was great meeting you last night" and to set up a date. I think an exception might be if he's a little insecure/needs to play cool, then he might go with that 3 or 5 day nonsense. This seems to be the more used method, from my experience...and from talking with guy friends in general in my life, it seems awfully important to a lot of them not to appear desperate and wait a few days...the ones that haven't waited are confident but again, in my experience, also ended up being way too clingy...like the guy I met a few weeks ago, he was so confident that he called his buddies and told them he has a new girlfriend within an hour of meeting me. He was so confident that he was making plans for us months ahead of time. On the same day of meeting me...THAT is WAY too much for me and it made me very uncomfortable. But I don't know if that's because I'm scared of committment or because he was just too fast for me.
Confusedalways Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 I think you 'could' call within a week, but as a girl I lose interest if they don't call within 3 days. Plus 3 days to me indicates the guy is playing games and I really don't have the energy for that.
Author LoveLace Posted June 13, 2010 Author Posted June 13, 2010 I think you 'could' call within a week, but as a girl I lose interest if they don't call within 3 days. Plus 3 days to me indicates the guy is playing games and I really don't have the energy for that. Right. It's been 2 days and I already feel my interest fading..as if the nice night with a great guy is getting farther and farther away...someone commented we "don't care" but that's not the case, it just won't be as interesting if he doesn't catch me while it's still fresh to me. After tomorrow the 3rd day I might hardly remember meeting him as I get caught up in all the other junk that goes on in life. Then if he calls in a week I'm supposed to forget what I'm doing and try to feel excited again..and perhaps with time and circumstance that is possible. I think the frustration comes from all my experiences of the guy is either too clingy or not interested enough and there's no in between. So now that my excitement is slowly turning into frustration, I'm losing interest because of that alone.
Author LoveLace Posted June 14, 2010 Author Posted June 14, 2010 So it's Sunday evening and we met Friday night so I just have the feeling he would have texted or something at this point, but he hasn't, so I'm not going to expect to hear from him at all, and yes I"m very ticked off because he told me he liked me and wanted to see me again, and I'm very tired of guys being idiots. No offense, but my hate for men just grows more and more because this is the kind of games and crap I deal with for every single man that I meet; if it's not this it's a desperate-clingy possessive type so I guess I'll have to settle for one of those or I will be alone forever.
seekandfind Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 To everyone who said that if a guys is really interested, he will contact her within 24 hours: Do girls really want this? I have come off too strong in the past, and I try to keep it cool these days, so I don't text too often, but I do make it clear that I am interested. My question is: Are girls going to be turned off and think you are over-eager/desperate if you contact them that quickly? (keep in my I am referring to the 18-22 year old crowd)
Author LoveLace Posted June 14, 2010 Author Posted June 14, 2010 To everyone who said that if a guys is really interested, he will contact her within 24 hours: Do girls really want this? I have come off too strong in the past, and I try to keep it cool these days, so I don't text too often, but I do make it clear that I am interested. My question is: Are girls going to be turned off and think you are over-eager/desperate if you contact them that quickly? (keep in my I am referring to the 18-22 year old crowd) It depends on the person. But if you read my other posts, I personally do not like being contacted that quickly. But 2 days later he still hasn't called or anything and that tells me he is not interested ENOUGH (of course! what's new?) So yea maybe not in the 1st 24 hours but after 2 days would be nice.
seekandfind Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 It depends on the person. But if you read my other posts, I personally do not like being contacted that quickly. But 2 days later he still hasn't called or anything and that tells me he is not interested ENOUGH (of course! what's new?) So yea maybe not in the 1st 24 hours but after 2 days would be nice. yeah I saw what you said about the guys who contacted you the next day, which does make sense. I will stick with waiting 2-3 days then which I had kinda already figured out haha. You shouldn't get too terribly worried, he could very easily contact you tomorrow! =) Once four days have passed however, there's a pretty good chance you will never hear from him.
Author LoveLace Posted June 14, 2010 Author Posted June 14, 2010 yeah I saw what you said about the guys who contacted you the next day, which does make sense. I will stick with waiting 2-3 days then which I had kinda already figured out haha. You shouldn't get too terribly worried, he could very easily contact you tomorrow! =) Once four days have passed however, there's a pretty good chance you will never hear from him. Thanks. But well, this is what always happens to me because I live in a world that is different from most others, it's a world that love does not exist in. I know it sounds funny but it's true. Even if the guy does call, something will not work out just like always, because love does not even happen here in my world. It's a bunch of made up junk. So I don't even know why I care if he calls. Because love is not something that happens to me.
TouchedByViolet Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 Thanks. But well, this is what always happens to me because I live in a world that is different from most others, it's a world that love does not exist in. I know it sounds funny but it's true. Even if the guy does call, something will not work out just like always, because love does not even happen here in my world. It's a bunch of made up junk. So I don't even know why I care if he calls. Because love is not something that happens to me. well damn LL, here is a *hug*
Author LoveLace Posted June 14, 2010 Author Posted June 14, 2010 well damn LL, here is a *hug* Well that's nice thanks, I just get very down from repeated disappointment, I wish I was neither gay nor straight and just not have to deal with it at all!!
paddington bear Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 Well that's nice thanks, I just get very down from repeated disappointment, I wish I was neither gay nor straight and just not have to deal with it at all!! I know exactly where you are at. It was you with the whole C ongoing drama wasn't it? At least that is all over and you are moving on, not that that is much consolation I'm sure.
carhill Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 When guys say things vague like that that means they are just trying to be nice but no. When I read that, in the context of flirting and physical contact, including a kiss, I was thinking 'his interest level is next to nothing'. As a 'good guy', after kissing a lady that I got on well with, even if a random or first meeting, I'd say 'I'd love to take you out to dinner this week. Do you like Japanese? Let's continue this over some sushi and sake. How about (name day)?'. If it *feels* right to *me*, I pursue it. I don't worry about looking 'too interested'. I'm thinking, if she feels likewise, it could be the beginning of the rest of our lives. Regardless, act. OP, this is just someone on a different path. It's OK. Sometimes our paths seem lonely. It's great to have friends to share with. We'll be there for you
Author LoveLace Posted June 14, 2010 Author Posted June 14, 2010 I know exactly where you are at. It was you with the whole C ongoing drama wasn't it? At least that is all over and you are moving on, not that that is much consolation I'm sure. His new girlfriend changed things, that's all. Somehow I never felt like I suffered a major loss...think I felt set free more than anything. Always grateful for what he gave to me, but not too sad about what I lost. If that makes any sense. To be clear this is what happened: Gave him the phone number voluntarily, but without specifying what to do with it. Then, he said "we should seriously hang out again" (something along those lines)...I said yes we should....Then he says, "NO, seriously"...as if he didn't believe me. So I repeated to him, YES, we should...then I kiss him. At this point he looked a deer in headlights like he didn't see it coming. I was getting into my car at that point, so we said bye. He started to walk away, then he ran back and kissed me again. Bye for real that time, then he took off to his car when I got into mine. Neither of us said when we'd supposedly, "seriously", see each other again. Anyway, that's the sequence of events of it even matters.
paddington bear Posted June 15, 2010 Posted June 15, 2010 His new girlfriend changed things, that's all. Somehow I never felt like I suffered a major loss...think I felt set free more than anything. Always grateful for what he gave to me, but not too sad about what I lost. If that makes any sense. To be clear this is what happened: Gave him the phone number voluntarily, but without specifying what to do with it. Then, he said "we should seriously hang out again" (something along those lines)...I said yes we should....Then he says, "NO, seriously"...as if he didn't believe me. So I repeated to him, YES, we should...then I kiss him. At this point he looked a deer in headlights like he didn't see it coming. I was getting into my car at that point, so we said bye. He started to walk away, then he ran back and kissed me again. Bye for real that time, then he took off to his car when I got into mine. Neither of us said when we'd supposedly, "seriously", see each other again. Anyway, that's the sequence of events of it even matters. Lovelace, that's great (re: the whole C thing). Re: this other guy. Sounds like he really liked you. Personally I don't think it matters that neither party said when exactly he would 'seriously' get together again. I mean, from what he said it's understood that he wanted your number and wanted to see you again. I've had times like these too, where the guy really seems keen and has that gleam in his eye and wants to meet up again. And then just goes cold. They've meant it while they said it, they are giving out all the right vibes because they meant it - but they meant it at the time and then they change their mind. If he's one of those guys, you'll have a lucky escape if he doesn't call again. Perhaps he knew he sounded super keen and now wants to appear cool (particularly if he wants to impress you and you already told him you don't like guys coming on too strong and calling immediately). However, if I was a guy, and I'm not, if I told some girl that I really liked that we should seriously meet up again and her response was to kiss me, I would think "Yay! She likes me" and follow up sooner rather than risking losing her to someone else.
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