summerl0vesyou Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 (edited) This has a few different issues in it.. I recently started dating someone and we decided to be bf/gf. well, things have been rocky to say the least. Ill explain that first, before explaining some of my thoughts as to "why". weve already had disagreements, fights, etc. only one time where we were actually somewhat cutting each other down (just intentionally making each other feel bad). but ive cried a few times... we were doing well before we became official. it seems like once that happened, all hell broke loose. im not being me at all. ive been snappy, irritable.. and he has been more prone to emotion too. were both sensitive people though. Anyways...I wasnt thinking about my ex at all, until this week... I started resenting the things hed never do, that this guy is more than willing, some of them hell even do NOW... and I have caught myself angry, thinking to myself "why couldnt my ex be this guy" etc. it just feels too easy with this guy. and i feel like im causing issues maybe even just cuz im so used to it, and think subconsciously thats how a rship is. dont get me wrong, I like this guy, I do...but Im scared, since we fought. that maybe Im going to lose him, or Im going to keep messing up. or that maybe we wont have that bond i had with my ex. he always says he has to pry it out of me, to hear me say Im happy...and that i dont seem happy, and he wants me to just be happy and if it isnt with him then he wants me to do whats right for me. Hes been pretty nice but like I said, the fights have me scared. I was actually really liking him and only thinking of him until that happened. he doesnt think I want to be with him...he feels like the feeling here might just be him being into me. I dont know how to show him that I do like him. but at the same time, am i even right to be here? I want a new chance and a fresh start with someone, but im already messing up and ive thought of my ex. Im so confused...How do I show him I like him? Should i be with him? should i overlook our fights, could it just be me trying to push him away because im scared?? Edited June 13, 2010 by summerl0vesyou
bolase Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 write him a note. make it brief. you could simply tell him that you don't want to fight, how much more he means to you now than when you first met, and that want to hang out (day, place maybe) or, youre looking forward to seeing him. leave it somewhere private where he'll go, or message him and tell him to look somewhere youve hidden it. will make his day and can show him rather than tell him that you think hes worth effort.
123BeachFan Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 It sounds like you've fallen right into a Toxic Relationship from the start with the new BF. Fighting and negative emotions aren't typical in a newly formed, healthy relationship. You need to deal with the baggage you're carrying regarding the ex. Work through the resentments, let go of the issues, find a way to forgive and move on. I don't think this new guy is the answer for you. Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who just makes you feel miserable? My advice is to cut him lose, work on you, and then find a new catch once you feel like you're really ready for something healthy -- mutually uplifting, supportive, and positive.
Author summerl0vesyou Posted June 13, 2010 Author Posted June 13, 2010 It sounds like you've fallen right into a Toxic Relationship from the start with the new BF. Fighting and negative emotions aren't typical in a newly formed, healthy relationship. You need to deal with the baggage you're carrying regarding the ex. Work through the resentments, let go of the issues, find a way to forgive and move on. I don't think this new guy is the answer for you. Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who just makes you feel miserable? My advice is to cut him lose, work on you, and then find a new catch once you feel like you're really ready for something healthy -- mutually uplifting, supportive, and positive. yeah i was thinking this too. Ive brought it up to him and he doesnt see it as an issue, and I dont either IF we can change it NOW...if this keeps going on, Im going to have to leave. I dont want to though and that makes it really hard. Im not miserable with him, just getting frustrated...but he does make me happy too. (Maybe hes emotionally abusive?) Idk. but you definitely seem to see the problem that I see...so its not just in my head.
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