Ruby Slippers Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 (edited) I figured out in high school that most men are threatened by a smart female. When I did not hide my intelligence, men treated me more like a good friend, one they could talk to about anything. My best male friends in high school were the whiz kids, and I secretly had crushes on a couple of them. When I played dumb and giggled more, the flirtation from guys went through the roof. I couldn't believe it, but the facts did not lie. Most men get so excited when you pretend to be ignorant and interview them as expert. Very rare is the man who is secure enough with himself to be with a highly intelligent woman. I have only had one relationship in which the man did not express his insecurity about my smarts and talents (this was also the best relationship overall). But I don't hide my smarts anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be less than I am. If a man doesn't want to be involved with me because he can't handle my strengths, it would never work, anyway. Edited June 14, 2010 by Ruby Slippers
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted June 14, 2010 Author Posted June 14, 2010 A bit of an update: Now I have 7 guys that are interested in meeting from that site. Catch is, 6 out of 7 don't actually know that I have a PhD and what I do for work past being a researcher. I have tried to sound normal and fun and it's working. This thing is, once they find out, they may run for the hills. Anyway a few have started correspondence with me by saying "I hesitated in contacting you because I thought that I am not hot enough for you..." This is kind of a turn off. I am feeling somewhat overwhelmed.
sweetjasmine Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 I figured out in high school that most men are threatened by a smart female. Oh jeez, high school. Teenagers. I remember being in debate club and having a few guys whisper about what b-tches my friend and I were. Just because we gave good speeches that destroyed their weak arguments.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted June 14, 2010 Author Posted June 14, 2010 Just slightly off-topic... How come that people who are walking calculators (savants) are considered math geniuses... This has nothing to do with math :lmao: A guy recited pi up to 22514 decimal places (he memorized it) but he claims that pi can't be expressed as a function because it's irrational . What does that even mean? Gosh... Why his ability is exceptional - this has very little to do with mathematics I know. Most people don't know what math proof is and most think that math is ALL about numbers. There are many areas of mathematics where you can go for a long time without writing down or even seeing an actual number. Media seems to be to blame there too.
Serenitynow Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 I pray every day that I could have a relationship with a women that has a PHD, a degree, or above average common sense. I LOVE smart females that can hold their own. But its not very easy to find women like that, and MOST of the ones that are smart, are stuck up B's that only go after guys making 6 figures.
Lakeside_runner Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 A bit of an update: Now I have 7 guys that are interested in meeting from that site. Catch is, 6 out of 7 don't actually know that I have a PhD and what I do for work past being a researcher. I have tried to sound normal and fun and it's working. This thing is, once they find out, they may run for the hills. Anyway a few have started correspondence with me by saying "I hesitated in contacting you because I thought that I am not hot enough for you..." This is kind of a turn off. I am feeling somewhat overwhelmed. I'm happy it's working out. I don't think they'll be running for the hills once they find out about your "dirty relationship with equations and numbers". (haha male mathematicians can refer to math as they little dirty mistress...) Yeah, I can see how their opening may come as a turn-off. It screams "I'm incecure!" P.S. Another math joke that I just happen to remember is: What's better for a mathematician - to have a wife or to have a mistress? Well, the answer is BOTH! This way the wife thinks you're with the mistress, the mistress thinks that you're with your wife while you can go to the library and get some work done!
Serenitynow Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 I figured out in high school that most men are threatened by a smart female. Those were the jerk males, that want dumb females so its easy to take advantage of them.
TwilightSky Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 I'm sure a lot of guys think the PhD thing is intimidating, and they feel they don't measure up.
TouchedByViolet Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 SAC any halfway decent guy is going to find your PhD hot. Don't concern yourself too much with that. My guess is something that you are totally unaware of has been sending some of the guys running. Try to be VERY observant of your own behavior and comments to figure out what could send a guy running if it happens. I honestly don't think it is your brains. A smart women is super sexy
Ruby Slippers Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 Those were the jerk males, that want dumb females so its easy to take advantage of them. It wasn't just them, and I have found the same attitudes in all but one of the men I have had serious relationships with. They have all said some variation of: "I'm scared I'm not smart enough/talented enough/whatever enough for you." But I NEVER thought that about them! When my man is better than me at something, I am totally proud of him, and love to brag on him. EVERYONE has their unique strengths and talents. And they do that about me, too, but almost always seem to have these deep-down insecurities about it. I don't understand why, if a man has a smart, awesome woman, he can't be happy about it and enjoy it.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted June 14, 2010 Author Posted June 14, 2010 SAC any halfway decent guy is going to find your PhD hot. Don't concern yourself too much with that. My guess is something that you are totally unaware of has been sending some of the guys running. Try to be VERY observant of your own behavior and comments to figure out what could send a guy running if it happens. I honestly don't think it is your brains. A smart women is super sexy I don't think it's my brains either (they didn't have much time to find any evidence of that) it's my qualification and perhaps stigma attached to it.
Woggle Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 I think it is wrong how some men are threatened by smart women but feminists helped create this mentality. Men do not like to feel disposable and unneeded in a relationship and statements like A women needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle help create this mentality that a man is disposable in the life of a smart and successul woman so he goes where he feels needed.
Ruby Slippers Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 ...mentality that a man is disposable in the life of a smart and successul woman so he goes where he feels needed. I'm smart and I can take care of myself, but I definitely love to lean on my man. I can do things alone, but overall I am happier with a good man in my life. I would think that a man would appreciate being with a woman who not only leans on him, but lets him lean on her sometimes, too.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted June 14, 2010 Author Posted June 14, 2010 I think it is wrong how some men are threatened by smart women but feminists helped create this mentality. Men do not like to feel disposable and unneeded in a relationship and statements like A women needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle help create this mentality that a man is disposable in the life of a smart and successul woman so he goes where he feels needed. Oh woogle, if you weren't already married I would marry you.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted June 14, 2010 Author Posted June 14, 2010 So I think that I will meet all 7 guys. I was never one for playing the numbers game and obviously that hasn't worked out well for me in the past, so I might as well change that.
Woggle Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 I'm smart and I can take care of myself, but I definitely love to lean on my man. I can do things alone, but overall I am happier with a good man in my life. I would think that a man would appreciate being with a woman who not only leans on him, but lets him lean on her sometimes, too. Most men do but the fish and bicycle mentality makes men afraid of smart and independent women so they go for women who they feel need them. How many times do you hear misandrists screaming about how men are obsolete and no longer needed or wanted now that women make their own money and can support themselves? You think men don't take this in and let it affect their dating choices? I am not defending it nor do I agree with it because my wife is brilliant and I love her that way but I am giving women a little insight into where it comes from.
WintersNightTraveler Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 Very rare is the man who is secure enough with himself to be with a highly intelligent woman. I have only had one relationship in which the man did not express his insecurity about my smarts and talents (this was also the best relationship overall) This is a two way street. Many women also act the same way is those circumstances. Even really intelligent women can be very insecure about that issue. It's unfortunate, and I don't think it's gender specific.
WintersNightTraveler Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 SAC any halfway decent guy is going to find your PhD hot. Don't concern yourself too much with that. My guess is something that you are totally unaware of has been sending some of the guys running. +1 agreed... Anyway a few have started correspondence with me by saying "I hesitated in contacting you because I thought that I am not hot enough for you..." This is kind of a turn off. I'm kind of surprised you even wrote back. How long have you been doing the online dating thing?
WintersNightTraveler Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 Since about 4 days ago... LOL. Don't worry. You'll soon just stop responding to the lame messages. Good luck!
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted June 14, 2010 Author Posted June 14, 2010 LOL. Don't worry. You'll soon just stop responding to the lame messages. Good luck! Yeah, I kind of feel obliged to respond to everyone apart from guys that ask for sex and those that have very unattractive profile pictures I also don't repsond to those that write in shorthand (2 hot 4u). But pretty much everyone else is given a chance.
brainygirl Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 Yeah, I kind of feel obliged to respond to everyone apart from guys that ask for sex and those that have very unattractive profile pictures I also don't repsond to those that write in shorthand (2 hot 4u). But pretty much everyone else is given a chance. the ones that look like they were typed by a grade schooler or by someone who has a very limited grasp of written english get deleted without a response by me.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted June 14, 2010 Author Posted June 14, 2010 the ones that look like they were typed by a grade schooler or by someone who has a very limited grasp of written english get deleted without a response by me. Yep, if you are going to weed out the sex ones, the bad grammar ones, the insecure ones - there will be nothing left.
Lakeside_runner Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 Yep, if you are going to weed out the sex ones, the bad grammar ones, the insecure ones - there will be nothing left. Have you tried dating in an other environment? Like join a common interest group etc. What are your hobbies? What do you do for fun? Is there a meetup.com group you could join?
brainygirl Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 Have you tried dating in an other environment? Like join a common interest group etc. What are your hobbies? What do you do for fun? Is there a meetup.com group you could join? I don't know about S&C, but that's not easy on a rural area. Internet dating is a tool, not a cure, to the "how to meet people" question.
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