Itzonator Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 Since I joined online dating recently I corresponded with couple of men. It all looked really promising, they went on about how they loved my pictures etc. Then when they asked me what I do I responded that I have a PhD in math, that I work in research and briefly outlined what my research is about. It is hard topic, and most people just don't even get what it is even after my best attempts at explanation. I am completly OK with them not understanding and I don't expect anyone to. After I said what I do, 2 out of 2 men have stopped responding. Is this really such a turn off? PhD in Math? Well ... as long as she knows calculus Link to post Share on other sites
sagetalk Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 1. Yeah, I think I will see if there is chemistry in person. He now gave me his mobile number, his home number, his e-mail and his first and last name lol. I have to admit that I really felt down on myself for being rejected but this makes me feel better. As long as he doesn't need conastant re-assurance later on. 2. Some other guy I was chatting to asked me about my favorite sexual position within the 5 mins of the chat so he is out. 1. I figured it was something like that. Attractive women in online dating can be extremely brutal (you have no idea), I don't blame the guy for being cautious. Many of these girls have way more options then they should and it turns them into harpies. 2. Good, he saved you the misery of having to spend a whole evening of "can I grab you". Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly Bean Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 Well, so now you have your confirmation as to why these guys are going MIA. If you're very attractive, as opined, AND with a Ph.D, that IS going to intimidate a lot of men. Hot is fine, smart is fine, but coupled - not so enticing to a lot of men. lol So, you can either tone down telling people your resume and probably garner more interest, OR, keep detailing your work and school history and turn them off. As far as this guy goes, I'd totally take a pass. He's already presented his insecurities, and it won't get any better. Link to post Share on other sites
CLC2008 Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 I agree with Lakeside. That's just nasty. I had stretch pants on the other night and was out with friends, a guy approached me and touched my leg and then tugged at my pants saying he loves girls in stretch pants. My response "Thanks. I wear them because they're comfortable" and then I walked off and hid behind my friend :lmao:. Link to post Share on other sites
tigressA Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 PhD in Math? Well ... as long as she knows calculus "I know my calculus, it says you + me = us..." Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 To describe a woman like that and not post pictures is cruel, just cruel . Imagine heavy sleepy eyelids, with deep blue eyes, a longish nose that gives character to her face, and fleshy lips with pointy child-like teeth. Body exactly like this but blonde. Link to post Share on other sites
Itzonator Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 "I know my calculus, it says you + me = us..." This equation You + Me = Us , seems unstable. Can we add another variable Link to post Share on other sites
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted June 13, 2010 Author Share Posted June 13, 2010 "I know my calculus, it says you + me = us..." TigressA, your occupation (an actress) must be an absolute men magnet! Link to post Share on other sites
Engadget Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 Imagine heavy sleepy eyelids, with deep blue eyes, a longish nose that gives character to her face, and fleshy lips with pointy child-like teeth. Body exactly like this but blonde. Why can't she post her picture? If it's an anonymity thing, blur out the eyes! Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 Why can't she post her picture? If it's an anonymity thing, blur out the eyes! Anyway, her problem is with her PhD thing not so much her appearance. I was just saying she is not ugly or something like that. Also, to be honest, she is not too hot about those guys either since she tends to be attracted to very smart men, but she is tired of being single forever so she is giving them a chance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted June 13, 2010 Author Share Posted June 13, 2010 Why can't she post her picture? If it's an anonymity thing, blur out the eyes! Eyes are one of my best features! And no, Ariadne please please don't post my picture. Link to post Share on other sites
tigressA Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 TigressA, your occupation (an actress) must be an absolute men magnet! That's not my occupation, actually......it's more of an interest than anything else. It'd be cool to make it an occupation eventually though, if things work out that way. I work as a live-in caretaker for a stroke victim. But that seems to be a magnet too though; a guy I talked to recently said it was really cool that I did that and asked me what I did when I wasn't "being such an altruistic person". Getting back to the topic though...hopefully the guy who re-contacted you will be better about dealing with his insecurities. It should help that you'll be taking him up on his offer. Link to post Share on other sites
Engadget Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 We need to post a poll and see how many PhD's there are here, geez seems like a dozen or more. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted June 13, 2010 Author Share Posted June 13, 2010 That's not my occupation, actually......it's more of an interest than anything else. It'd be cool to make it an occupation eventually though, if things work out that way. I work as a live-in caretaker for a stroke victim. But that seems to be a magnet too though; a guy I talked to recently said it was really cool that I did that and asked me what I did when I wasn't "being such an altruistic person". Getting back to the topic though...hopefully the guy who re-contacted you will be better about dealing with his insecurities. It should help that you'll be taking him up on his offer. I am curious: how do you like that job? I always found it depressing being around very ill people.... it just brings me down for some reason. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 I am curious: how do you like that job? I always found it depressing being around very ill people.... it just brings me down for some reason. (I think she started last week she got kicked out of her aunts house) Link to post Share on other sites
Lakeside_runner Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 That's not my occupation, actually......it's more of an interest than anything else. It'd be cool to make it an occupation eventually though, if things work out that way. I work as a live-in caretaker for a stroke victim. But that seems to be a magnet too though; a guy I talked to recently said it was really cool that I did that and asked me what I did when I wasn't "being such an altruistic person". Getting back to the topic though...hopefully the guy who re-contacted you will be better about dealing with his insecurities. It should help that you'll be taking him up on his offer. Awww... that's in an amazing job (I was looking for a better word...couldn't find one though). I admire people who have the will to take care of others who can't take care of themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
popey Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 I haven't read the whole thread, but it can't be said enough. YES, some men would be. Those such men are obviously not a match for you. It is harder for an accomplished woman who has her own life and interests to find a good match. IMO, down playing that isn't a better alternative. Maybe the bright side is that having that degree makes it easier to weed out the garbage. Link to post Share on other sites
WintersNightTraveler Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 He apologized for not responding and exaplained that he was intimidated. That he felt like he has nothing to offer as in I am better looking than him, more educated, have better job... Out of curiousity, are you contacting these guys first, or are they contacting you? If they're writing first, it might mean they're just looking at the pics, and once they find out how different your situation is (career, education, etc), they just move on. Maybe you should try writing guys first, since this is how many people choose (solely by pic) and it might happen again. If you're writing first, how are you choosing - if you wind up writing men who you seem to outclass in most ways? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted June 13, 2010 Author Share Posted June 13, 2010 Out of curiousity, are you contacting these guys first, or are they contacting you? If they're writing first, it might mean they're just looking at the pics, and once they find out how different your situation is (career, education, etc), they just move on. Maybe you should try writing guys first, since this is how many people choose (solely by pic) and it might happen again. If you're writing first, how are you choosing - if you wind up writing men who you seem to outclass in most ways? They all contact me first. Link to post Share on other sites
WintersNightTraveler Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 They all contact me first. You might try writing some initial messages to men who you can tell in the same neighborhood as you, education & careerwise, to narrow the field. Link to post Share on other sites
Crazy Magnet Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 Green, you have to have an appreciation of math's complexities to catch onto its jokes... You: Would you mind if we integrate, because I'd like to approximate the area underneath your curves... PhD Math girl: lol... hahaha I'm not even a math girl, but that sounds like something my boyfriend would blurt out. I find stuff like that so funny. Link to post Share on other sites
brainygirl Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 S&CWA, I have come to the conclusion that the world of online dating is a surreal dream scape where things are normal, but not. I've found that if you are looking for a disposable man to mess around with for a while but not get serious, its great. For meeting actual people who want to make an actual connection, its not so great. I don't think your having sought an advanced degree and participating in research should impact your attractiveness, but I'm not exactly a paragon of dating expertise. Link to post Share on other sites
sagetalk Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 Imagine heavy sleepy eyelids, with deep blue eyes, a longish nose that gives character to her face, and fleshy lips with pointy child-like teeth. Body exactly like this but blonde. Ok, ok, you convinced me. I'll take two ! Man, Sad if you look like that girl in the image you're going to scare the crap out of 90% of the decent guys in the beginning. Most decent guys see a girl like that and immediately start looking for the alpha jerk (or alpha jerk ex) that she's dating to sit down beside her. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 (edited) ..................... Edited June 14, 2010 by Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Lakeside_runner Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 Just slightly off-topic... How come that people who are walking calculators (savants) are considered math geniuses... This has nothing to do with math :lmao: A guy recited pi up to 22514 decimal places (he memorized it) but he claims that pi can't be expressed as a function because it's irrational . What does that even mean? Gosh... Why his ability is exceptional - this has very little to do with mathematics Link to post Share on other sites
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