Author SadandConfusedWA Posted June 15, 2010 Author Posted June 15, 2010 Your last sentence isn't patronizing? If I asked you about your education, or your work, it means I really want to know. If you come back with rolling eyes and a snarky comment, what impression am I going to get? I think that maybe working on your people skills would help you a lot.BTW, this is my opinion, only, and I'm just trying to help, so don't get PO'd at me.. Also, I've dated lawyers, waitresses, teachers, homemakers, and strippers, and have found that their education level isn't as important as their intelligence. Nah, my people skills in real life are fine. People generally like me and find me sweet, animated and funny. Maybe it doesn't come across as well online, hence my frustration with online dating. I also don't care much for the guy's formal education as long as he is intelligent but not a hard-core intellectual. There is nothing more boring than a guy that goes into long monologues of some minute aspect of astro-physics or any other little piece of reasearch that he does. So it is hard for me because I need a guy to be smart but in an entartaining way rather than a bookish way.
GoodOnPaper Posted June 15, 2010 Posted June 15, 2010 I also don't care much for the guy's formal education as long as he is intelligent but not a hard-core intellectual. There is nothing more boring than a guy that goes into long monologues of some minute aspect of astro-physics or any other little piece of reasearch that he does. So it is hard for me because I need a guy to be smart but in an entartaining way rather than a bookish way. Aren't you a hard-core intellectual? Weren't you wondering why the highly educated men in your work sphere went after "opposites" in an intellectual sense? You seem to be doing the same thing.
JustJoe Posted June 15, 2010 Posted June 15, 2010 Nah, my people skills in real life are fine. People generally like me and find me sweet, animated and funny. Maybe it doesn't come across as well online, hence my frustration with online dating. I also don't care much for the guy's formal education as long as he is intelligent but not a hard-core intellectual. There is nothing more boring than a guy that goes into long monologues of some minute aspect of astro-physics or any other little piece of reasearch that he does. So it is hard for me because I need a guy to be smart but in an entartaining way rather than a bookish way.I think you have a valid point there. Ive been told that I come across, on the web, as being harsh and cold, when in RL I'm anything but. I't IS difficult to express emotional ideas over the web and this might be the core of your problem. I also agree that since you have this difficulty, maybe cyber-dating isn't for you. IDK, I've never tried it.
Shakz Posted June 15, 2010 Posted June 15, 2010 Question for those guys that watch The Big Bang Theory: I get it that men prefer looks over brains. But what if the girl Penny was a as hot as she is and also a genious physicist? Would the guys in the series be less interested in her? Based on the few episodes of the show that I've seen, it highlights the myth that people of high intellect are underdeveloped emotionally, while people less gifted intellectually are more mature. That seems to be the basis of the majority of the jokes on the show. I think if she was beautiful and intellectual, the various characters would have their usually difficulty relating to her, with Sheldon demonizing her out of his competitive nature, Howard and Raj idolizing her out of their arrested adolescence, and Leonard being able to develop a relationship because he's a realist. so same show only less comic opportunites. There are enough big brains on the show, they need a character like Penny, with a big heart.
Ariadne Posted June 15, 2010 Posted June 15, 2010 Sheldon demonizing her out of his "competitive nature"... "Howard" and "Raj" idolizing her out of their arrested adolescence! Leonard...he's a realist! There are enough big brains on the show.. (This show sounds like it sucks)
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 15, 2010 Posted June 15, 2010 Nah, my people skills in real life are fine. People generally like me and find me sweet, animated and funny. Maybe it doesn't come across as well online, hence my frustration with online dating. I also don't care much for the guy's formal education as long as he is intelligent but not a hard-core intellectual. There is nothing more boring than a guy that goes into long monologues of some minute aspect of astro-physics or any other little piece of reasearch that he does. So it is hard for me because I need a guy to be smart but in an entartaining way rather than a bookish way. Online dating: Be prepared for rejection. It doesn't matter what your education, social skills, looks, whatever. Don't try to represent yourself in a way that will "work," just be true to yourself and try to remain open without being a victim. If a good fit is out there, you might find one another. You also might have some fun dates with different guys who are not really "right." And you certainly WILL experience the "disappearing" ones with whom things seemed to be going well, along with liars, jerks and maybe sociopaths. After a while, you'll figure out how to let that roll off your back. It can hurt your feelings at first; it did mine. That being said; according to you and your friend you are young and "pretty" or beyond pretty; according to the quoted post you are socially skilled and popular. I'm not a "stalker" but I have looked at your past posts prior to responding to one of your other threads. It seems that you historically have troubles in the relationship department. If there IS something about yourself that needs some work, perhaps you might address that in order to prepare yourself for a good relationship with a man who fits with you well.
Shakz Posted June 15, 2010 Posted June 15, 2010 (This show sounds like it sucks) Welcome to the wide, wonderful world of television situation comedy, Ariadne. Shakespeare it aint.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 Well this has been very useful discussion. To sum up the key points: Most men don't care so much about how smart the girl is as long as she has other more desirable qualitiesSaying that you have a PhD can come off as braggingMost people don't know what math actually is Most people hate math (or what they perceive math to be)Few men LOVE smart girls, I just have to find those and not get down by the ones that don'tI am going to start watching The Big Bang Theory (as recommended by Lakeside_runner) in the hope of some enlightmentI don't think internet dating is really for me (switches from Math to Spelling) K-A-L-E-Y C-U-O-C-O Hey wait a minute, I think you need one more simple rule there...
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted June 16, 2010 Author Posted June 16, 2010 (switches from Math to Spelling) K-A-L-E-Y C-U-O-C-O Hey wait a minute, I think you need one more simple rule there... My spelling is not bad due to being a math person, it's bad due to English being my second language. I also CBF using spell checkers
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted June 16, 2010 Author Posted June 16, 2010 Online dating: Be prepared for rejection. It doesn't matter what your education, social skills, looks, whatever. Don't try to represent yourself in a way that will "work," just be true to yourself and try to remain open without being a victim. If a good fit is out there, you might find one another. You also might have some fun dates with different guys who are not really "right." And you certainly WILL experience the "disappearing" ones with whom things seemed to be going well, along with liars, jerks and maybe sociopaths. After a while, you'll figure out how to let that roll off your back. It can hurt your feelings at first; it did mine. That being said; according to you and your friend you are young and "pretty" or beyond pretty; according to the quoted post you are socially skilled and popular. I'm not a "stalker" but I have looked at your past posts prior to responding to one of your other threads. It seems that you historically have troubles in the relationship department. If there IS something about yourself that needs some work, perhaps you might address that in order to prepare yourself for a good relationship with a man who fits with you well. You can be pretty, popular and smart but still F-ed up and unable to hold on to an intimate realtionship. But with online dating and with men I just meet, this in no way comes thorugh. It only comes through with knowing me for a while... so at the early stage, it's not an issue. However, the older I get, the less available men there are in my age group. In real life I don't think that I have met a single guy my age or slightly older/younger in YEARS (seriously). I need to fix not being able to meet available men first, hence this thread.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted June 16, 2010 Author Posted June 16, 2010 Aren't you a hard-core intellectual? Weren't you wondering why the highly educated men in your work sphere went after "opposites" in an intellectual sense? You seem to be doing the same thing. See that's the problem. I beleive that I am intelligent but not a hard-core intellectual. I would prefer to find a man that is similar. Sure, I am somewhat nerdy/geeky but not to an extent that most people with my qualification are. I wouldn't mind a guy slightly geekier than me but if you have ever met older, bearded math theorists that have zero social skills or sense of humor, well you would know what I mean.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted June 16, 2010 Author Posted June 16, 2010 Welcome to the wide, wonderful world of television situation comedy, Ariadne. Shakespeare it aint. I only like that show for the nerdy physics jokes
skydiveaddict Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 any guy that would turn you away because of your degree is a moron now, would you date someone without a phd?
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted June 16, 2010 Author Posted June 16, 2010 any guy that would turn you away because of your degree is a moron now, would you date someone without a phd? Sure, as long as he is reasonably intelligent and not completly bad at math. I also enjoy discussing psychology so bonus points if he has some sort of psych background.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted June 16, 2010 Author Posted June 16, 2010 Also, one of the problems is that apart from math, I have no other talents. I like making jewlery in my spare time and enjoy cinema, dinners and wine, but those are hardly strong hobbies or interests. If I were a talented actress or a musician or at least a runner, more men would perhaps be interested. I went to a few landscape painting classes and I sucked at that too
skydiveaddict Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 Aww, I can already tell you're a good catch for some lucky guy
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted June 16, 2010 Author Posted June 16, 2010 I took a picture of me just now, with glasses on (which I only recently started wearing at work and when driving). It's in my profile and will go down FAST.
skydiveaddict Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 yep I was right you are a little hottie you should leave that picture up
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted June 16, 2010 Author Posted June 16, 2010 yep I was right you are a little hottie you should leave that picture up Aww, thanks I had to take it down as I write about work on here a lot and if someone were to see my threads.....
Eeyore79 Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 I have a PhD, and I never had any problems with online dating. My profile says "Education level: PhD" and I don't feel the need to elaborate on that unless someone asks me. Even if they do happen to ask me what I do, I merely say that I work with computers. People don't seem to like it if you go into much more detail than that; neither are they particularly interested anyway. You have to remember that having a PhD puts you in the top couple of percent of the population academically, and pointing that out to people can seem like bragging. People are interested in you as a person, not in your PhD - I know you're proud of it, but you have to respect that it will probably make other people feel awkward, and therefore you don't mention it unless asked... and even then you don't go into detail.
Mr White Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 I have a PhD, and I never had any problems with online dating. My profile says "Education level: PhD" and I don't feel the need to elaborate on that unless someone asks me. Even if they do happen to ask me what I do, I merely say that I work with computers. People don't seem to like it if you go into much more detail than that; neither are they particularly interested anyway. You have to remember that having a PhD puts you in the top couple of percent of the population academically, and pointing that out to people can seem like bragging. People are interested in you as a person, not in your PhD - I know you're proud of it, but you have to respect that it will probably make other people feel awkward, and therefore you don't mention it unless asked... and even then you don't go into detail. Top 2-3%, to be precise. One thng to remember is that many people with PhDs (myself included) have one just because they stayed in school long enough to get it. The point being that there is a vast pools of just as gifted or mor gifted people who decided that there are much better uses of their time than languish in grad school to get a PhD. Related, having a PhD, just like being rich, pretty, or whatever, doesn't entitle anybody to love, sex, or a job. It's still hard work no matter what.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted June 16, 2010 Author Posted June 16, 2010 Top 2-3%, to be precise. One thng to remember is that many people with PhDs (myself included) have one just because they stayed in school long enough to get it. The point being that there is a vast pools of just as gifted or mor gifted people who decided that there are much better uses of their time than languish in grad school to get a PhD. Related, having a PhD, just like being rich, pretty, or whatever, doesn't entitle anybody to love, sex, or a job. It's still hard work no matter what. I don't mean to brag or anything, but having a PhD DOES require certain intelligence. I guess it depends on the topic too. I am not disputing that people that don't have PhDs can not be very intelligent, it's more that those that do (especially in hard sciences) can't exactly be dumb.
WintersNightTraveler Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 You can be pretty, popular and smart but still F-ed up and unable to hold on to an intimate realtionship. But with online dating and with men I just meet, this in no way comes thorugh. It only comes through with knowing me for a while... so at the early stage, it's not an issue. However, the older I get, the less available men there are in my age group. In real life I don't think that I have met a single guy my age or slightly older/younger in YEARS (seriously). I need to fix not being able to meet available men first, hence this thread. This seems pretty spot on for every point, especially that part about the immediate problem versus a longer term one. I'm not sure though why there seem to be few single men in your age group. I vaguely recall it being similar to mine (late 20's early 30's??) and it seems to me that there are single people everywhere. Maybe its the gender difference or a location thing. I wouldn't mind a guy slightly geekier than me but if you have ever met older, bearded math theorists that have zero social skills or sense of humor, well you would know what I mean. LOL. The same goes with engineering. Also, one of the problems is that apart from math, I have no other talents. I like making jewlery in my spare time and enjoy cinema, dinners and wine, but those are hardly strong hobbies or interests. If I were a talented actress or a musician or at least a runner, more men would perhaps be interested. I went to a few landscape painting classes and I sucked at that too I don't know if that's really a problem. Most people don't have two really strong talents or personality aspects that really distinguish them. Actresses tend to be very attractive and female musicians work in a field that has many more men (who don't have beard and social skill problems). Also both are highly social professions. I think those are bigger factors than men being more interested because of their special skills. For years I was a very active musician, and this was never as big a factor as intellect in terms of what defined my serious relationships. Sure I met some more people this way and some people out there fetishize it a bit, but that's not exactly what you're looking for here.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 My spelling is not bad due to being a math person, it's bad due to English being my second language. I also CBF using spell checkers LOL - I never wrote/said anything about your spelling
jason83 Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 Ok, so I didn't read a single thing other than the OP first post. PHD's no matter what the subject are not a turn off. Maybe intimidating to some people because that obviously suggests that you are intelligent. Personally, I love an intelligent woman. I want to be able to have intelligent conversations. And if she has a PHD, I would assume she is making good $$$...and I wouldn't mind me a sugar mama
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