sagirl1891 Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 Basics: We've been dating two years. I was sick on Wednesday/Thursday and he took care of me at his house. We got into a huge fight yesterday morning because he was cranky and he said a bunch of nasty things. he dropped me off at my apartment. I had to go to the hospital. I purposely (unfortunately) didn't let him know what was going on. He didn't show up to the hospital. He claims that he didn't show up because I was pushing him away. He won't come over to see me (even though it's an hour drive) because his mom just got back from vacation and she needs him there. I am going crazy. I am having panic attacks because I don't feel like he cares, everyone I know hates him, but he claims that the reason he seems like an ******* boyfriend is because I tipped the scales to make him act that way by pushing him away. Bullcrap or is he right?! Help. I don't know what to do.
Author sagirl1891 Posted June 12, 2010 Author Posted June 12, 2010 ...also, he said that he didn't really need to go to the hospital because he had taken care of me the night before and somehow that gave him the right to not be there or something.
D-Lish Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 What specific examples does he give with regard to how you push him away? Does he say you're too needy- too domineering, or perhaps too clingy? It would help to know what his specific issues are. Additionally- if all your friends don't like this guy, what are their reasons? Do they have a valid POV? Sorry you had a bad day yesterday- hope you are feeling better.
Author sagirl1891 Posted June 12, 2010 Author Posted June 12, 2010 Sorry, what he meant by the "you pushed me away" comment was in reference to the hospital trip. he had made it seem like he was going to break up with me in the car and had said a lot of nasty stuff, so when I was en route to the hospital I ignored his calls/texts because I was upset with him. i told him I was getting a cat scan, but not why, because I wanted him to apologize for fighting with me earlier. He said he didn't come to the hospital because he didn't know what was wrong with me and I wasn't answering my phone, leading him to believe I didn't want him there, when that couldn't be further from the truth. My best friends showed up, and they texted him being like "you should be here" but instead he just wanted to know who was texting him, and he STILL DID NOT SHOW UP! They didn't like him because they didn't like how he was yelling at me this morning, calling me an "ungrateful bitch" (even though he was just grumpy from me waking him up) and they dind't like him because he dind't show up to the hospital. My parents hate him because he didn't show up to the hospital and he and I were on the phone today having a screaming match because he was mad at me and I was mad at him for not showing up to the hospital. does that make more sense? i'm sorry, my mind is so scattered right now. I really should take a xanax but I don't have any in the house .
SarahRose Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 Question, do your best friend treat you the same way he treats you?
Green Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 Take each day one at a time. It doesn't sound like you guys really care for eachother. You want him to be some one he is not. He really should have showed up to the hospital.
Author sagirl1891 Posted June 13, 2010 Author Posted June 13, 2010 Question, do your best friend treat you the same way he treats you? I mean, he took me to his house and fed me soup and crackers, and then held my hair as I threw up. The only thing he didn't do, is come to the hospital. This is something my best friends did, though.
Author sagirl1891 Posted June 13, 2010 Author Posted June 13, 2010 Take each day one at a time. It doesn't sound like you guys really care for eachother. You want him to be some one he is not. He really should have showed up to the hospital. I want him to be someone he's not...what is he not? Caring? I know it seems like we don't care for each other because I acted vindictive after our stupid fight. It's unfortunate that we had to have the fight right before I was hospitalized. I feel like things would've been different if we didn't have the fight. But I think you're right, he should've come to the hospital no matter how much information he was given, no matter how pushed away he felt. He finally apologized to me today about not coming to the hospital.
TaurusTerp Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 I think you want a drama filled relationship. I suggest you take a deeper look into how one thing lead to another from the beginning and whether your actions feed into these fights you are having. PS - Not saying that he's not responsible too.
TaurusTerp Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 But I think you're right, he should've come to the hospital no matter how much information he was given, no matter how pushed away he felt. He finally apologized to me today about not coming to the hospital. FYI, he can't read your mind. You ignored him and didn't tell him why you were going signifies that you didn't want him there. Why would someone show up to an event where they're not wanted? I don't understand why you think you're justified in being angry at him. YOU communicated through your actions that you didn't want him there, then got angry at him, and then tried to punish him. It's completely irrational and creates drama where there really should be none.
Author sagirl1891 Posted June 13, 2010 Author Posted June 13, 2010 I think you want a drama filled relationship. I suggest you take a deeper look into how one thing lead to another from the beginning and whether your actions feed into these fights you are having. PS - Not saying that he's not responsible too. I really don't want a drama filled relationship and we were getting along so well for so long until he freaked out at me for waking him up. I do take responsibility for being mean to him while being in the hospital. I don't know what I was thinking.
Author sagirl1891 Posted June 13, 2010 Author Posted June 13, 2010 FYI, he can't read your mind. You ignored him and didn't tell him why you were going signifies that you didn't want him there. Why would someone show up to an event where they're not wanted? I don't understand why you think you're justified in being angry at him. YOU communicated through your actions that you didn't want him there, then got angry at him, and then tried to punish him. It's completely irrational and creates drama where there really should be none. You're totally right. I don't know why I let my friends not tell him what was going on. I guess I was upset at him for calling me a bitch earlier in the day. Ugh. I really need to grow up.
Author sagirl1891 Posted June 13, 2010 Author Posted June 13, 2010 FYI, he can't read your mind. You ignored him and didn't tell him why you were going signifies that you didn't want him there. Why would someone show up to an event where they're not wanted? I don't understand why you think you're justified in being angry at him. YOU communicated through your actions that you didn't want him there, then got angry at him, and then tried to punish him. It's completely irrational and creates drama where there really should be none. Now my parents HATE him and my best friends HATE him. How do I fix this? I tried to explain to my parents but they wouldn't really listen.
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