frenchgirl Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 This guy used to work with me three years ago. As he quit, we started to go out for dinner, maybe 3-4 times a year. Nothing ever happened as we were never both single at the same time. So we've been going for lots of dinners over the years, always in fine places. Sometimes we split the bill, other times we just take turns as to who pays for the meal. We always have a good time together with dinners lasting several hours. Lately, we've had a couple of dinners that lasted until very late in the evening. There was never a dull moment. Is it possible I may have found a friend? Someone who I get along with and who doesn't try to get in my pants?
Cracker Jack Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 It certainly sounds that way. I mean, if you guys have been doing this for yrs and neither of you made an attempt to take it any further, then I'm fairly certain you two are just close friends. That's good.
carhill Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 Be his wingwoman the next time you go out (presuming he's single now). His response will be telling. If you're both single, and nothing happens, and especially if neither of you has behavioral changes when the other starts dating, then IMO you have a great platonic friendship. I enjoyed a few of those over the decades and have many fond memories. All ended when the ladies got married. Guys are pretty territorial IME. Good luck!
marsle85 Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 I think it's possible! I dated a guy for a brief few months last year, and now he's dating another girl- since we live so close we hang out atleast once a week. We have BOTH made it clear we could never date again, despite liking one another as friends. I loveee hanging out with him too, we also go dutch, take turns buying the meals. He's sarcastic, and funny and ultimately- I enjoy having him as a friend. I do NOT see him as a reliable romantic partner though, so it's perfect.
ADF Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 Men almost never go out of their way to befriend women unless they are attracted to them. Almost never. It may be you've found that one-in-a million man who is the exception. But I wouldn't count on it. Try not to be too crushed if this "friend" ends up confessing deeper feelings for you. That said, the fact this guy may be attracted to you doesn't mean you can't be friends. All men, all throughout our lives, find ourselves attracted to women who, for whatever reason, are either not interested or not available. That's just part of life. If this man is mature enough to take "no" for an answer, and if he geuinely values your friendship, there is no reason his attraction to you need end your friendship.
Author frenchgirl Posted June 12, 2010 Author Posted June 12, 2010 At one point I think something could've happened (the first time we went out) but we quickly moved into the friendzone and things have stayed that way since then. I've never had a problem finding a date but I think this is the first time that I enjoy a true friendship with a man. While we don't meet up very often, we always talk for hours each time and I love the brutally honest conversations we have.
ADF Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 At one point I think something could've happened (the first time we went out) but we quickly moved into the friendzone and things have stayed that way since then. Oh no, no, no. I'm sorry, but men don't "friendzone" women. Never, never, never. Not the way women friendzone men. Not unless they are blood relatives, or gay. And even some of the gay guys get ideas from time to time. The fact you say "at one point something could've happened" is conclusive proof he's into you. No question about it. And, as I said, he will no doubt confess as much in time.
Author frenchgirl Posted June 12, 2010 Author Posted June 12, 2010 The fact you say "at one point something could've happened" is conclusive proof he's into you. No question about it. And, as I said, he will no doubt confess as much in time. I'm pretty sure he is or at least was "into me". However he always remained decent, never made a pass on me, never made any allusions. Right now I am not on the market so it would be off limits anyway. The fact that he's remained friendly and decent for so long tells me he respects me and enjoys the friendship.
somedude81 Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 Is he single? If he's not, then you may have found a friend. If he is, then he just be waiting for the right time to strike.
Author frenchgirl Posted June 12, 2010 Author Posted June 12, 2010 Is he single? If he's not, then you may have found a friend. If he is, then he just be waiting for the right time to strike. Right now he is single. As for waiting for the right time, three years is a long wait by any standard...
Sivok Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 My best friend is a girl and we've been best friends for 3 years. We've never dated, we've never had sexual relations with each other, and we were both single when we first became friends. We're both decently attractive but, I don't know, we didn't feel sexual chemistry for each other; we just enjoyed each other's company. At this point I view her like a sister, and any sexual prospects with her honestly disgusts me. It is possible yes, but it's very rare
paddington bear Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 Oh no, no, no. I'm sorry, but men don't "friendzone" women. Never, never, never. Not the way women friendzone men. Not unless they are blood relatives, or gay. And even some of the gay guys get ideas from time to time. The fact you say "at one point something could've happened" is conclusive proof he's into you. No question about it. And, as I said, he will no doubt confess as much in time. Yes they do. I've had it done twice to me. Perhaps there was some sort of spark there at some point, but due to unresolved feelings for ex's or that I just didn't ignite further interest, I was put firmly in the friendzone, but still was called all the time, asked out, treated like a girlfriend, but without the kissing and sex and told that nothing more would happen. Another way of putting it would be 'putting in time with a girl who gives me an ego-boost until a real girlfriend comes along and then 'friendship over'. More fool me for putting up with it.
sagetalk Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 Is he single? If he's not, then you may have found a friend. If he is, then he just be waiting for the right time to strike. I'd say there is a very good chance of this being true. The only girl that I could possibly think of who could get friendzoned is a girl that knows alot of other attractive women and hangs out with them.
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