Kris30 Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 First let me give some background. Over a month ago I ended up kinda hooking up with a guy. We didn't actually do it, but we got each other off. He just called me last week, said he had lost my number, & asked me out. We had a really nice time. We talked a bit & he said he had fun when we were together before, but felt like we skipped some steps and thought it would be good to start over from the beginning. I said I thought that was a great idea. He's going to call me & we're supposed to get together again next week. I know that you should have sex when you're ready and since I want more with him I'm not ready, yet. But what if after 2 or 3 more dates I feel ready? Should I then go ahead or should I wait longer? We are both in our late 20's and I have a high sex-drive. I really like this guy and I'm already not really seeing anyone else.
Sivok Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 I'd wait 4-6 dates before sleeping with him personally. That's a fair amount of time
SilentVoice Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 Women don't have any sex drive at all. So what do they(we) have?
EmeraldHeart Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 Whenever you feel ready. There is no set time or amount of dates. I will say that I don't have any regrets in that department. I have never slept with a man until I was ready and even though I am still single, I don't regret any of the sexual relationships I have had. I almost had sex with the man I am waiting to end things with. I am extremely attracted to him and the physical chemistry is great, but I am not there emotionally. Well, I am glad I didn't give in because the next time I hear from him, which I will since we work together, he is being kicked to the curb.
TaraMaiden Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 Kris30 - if it feels right, do it. When in doubt - don't. Fox - shaddup.
frenchgirl Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 If you feel the desire, go for it. If the guy really likes you, it won't change a thing whether you have sex on the 1st or 10th date. He will still like you. If the guy only wants you for sex, it won't change a thing whether you make him wait or not. I have sex whenever I feel like it (unless I'm in a relationship of course).
Author Kris30 Posted June 12, 2010 Author Posted June 12, 2010 Well, I was recently dating a guy and we had sex on date 3 and I never heard from him again. Looking back, it was too soon. Don't want to repeat that mistake. I really don't believe this guy is just after sex and when we do do it I want it to be special and sweet, kwim? Anyway, what about making out? Is that OK on the 2nd date? We did kiss (peck on the lips) on the first date. I don't know that he would have done it, but I moved in making it obvious I wanted a kiss, LOL!
frenchgirl Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 Well, I was recently dating a guy and we had sex on date 3 and I never heard from him again. Looking back, it was too soon. Don't want to repeat that mistake. Did you enjoy having sex with him? And what tells you he wouldn't have ditched you if you had waited until date 5? Having sex if often the best way to find out what a guy's all about. And if sex isn't unpleasant, there's nothing wrong with it in my view.
Author Kris30 Posted June 12, 2010 Author Posted June 12, 2010 Well, I do happen to wish I HADN'T had sex with him. And isn't waiting longer a good way to weed out those guys that only want sex? In any case, with this guy I really want to wait until some feelings for one another have developed.
TaurusTerp Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 Well, I do happen to wish I HADN'T had sex with him. And isn't waiting longer a good way to weed out those guys that only want sex? In any case, with this guy I really want to wait until some feelings for one another have developed. If it's a guy that's just after the conquest, he'd wait another 2 dates, bang you, and then stop responding. You'd just waste another 2 dates with him. If a guy only wants sex, it's not like one time sex is good enough. He'd come back for more sex. There's clearly more to your situation than you've told or know.
Feelin Frisky Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 He seems to have said all the right things. Go out with him and see if he IS interested in you or as they say in Brataslava, he just wants to relieve himself in you. If you've already dry humped and popped an O, you shouldn't put arbitrary limits on going all the way. The fact that he didn't try to penetrate you in the first session you mentioned shows something about his respect for your boundaries.
summerl0vesyou Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 Women don't have any sex drive at all. ohhh man. i always have a higher drive than the guys i date....which is crazy. i wear them out. I wish THEY had more of a drive =(
summerl0vesyou Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 in response- i would TRY to wait 3-4 dates, BUT if the time is right before that, I would just do it...this isnt the end of the world, afterall...if hes right for you, hell be around no matter when u have sex
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