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Boyfriend's platonic friend has HORRIBLE body - why is he doing her?

triad

By triad
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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triad New Member

triad

Posted
Posted (edited)

My boyfriend dates two women (myself and an old girlfriend whom he said he had a platonic relationship with because he's hated her body for the 30 years they've known each other).

 

All the while we have dated, he's always claimed to have a platonic friendship with his cellulitic friend because her body is flaccid and it has always turned him off.

 

While he and I had dated exclusively, every time we scheduled a date, dinner or a vacation, she would always ask him to take her out to dinner or do something with her that made us change our dates for our vacations, events, etc. And since she was the sad, cellulite-ridden-spinster he asked me to feel sorry for, I always gave in.

 

Now he tells me that she's become "interesting" and that in spite of her hanging cellulitic ass that he always said made him want to vomit - he's screwing us both. She wants me to walk away and just disappear and leave her free to date him. I just don't feel like it. I think now I'm doing him out of spite. Now I've begun to wonder if he wasn't screwing her all the while I thought he and I were exclusive. His friends refer to her as "his moped."

 

What infuriates me is that he told me he didn't have sex with her all these years because he hated her body. Now he has no problem screwing her cellulitic droopy ass even though she's as flaccid and flabby as ever. I've also begun to suspect that he may have spoken horribly about me to her as well.

 

What the three of us have, is called a polyamory triad but she doesn't realize it. I wonder how her family would react to know that she has accepted having sex with a man that discarded her for 30 years while he is actively making love to another woman. He and I recognize our situation as a polyamory triad and that's what we call it. She thinks I'm going to melt away somehow and disappear. I'm really furious at him over this.

 

I'm calming myself down by merely posting this here but if I don't get some satisfaction soon, I'm worried that my anger over this may make me want to go and write a book about the entire incident complete with names and photographs.

 

None of it would qualify as slander or libel since it is all factually true and I can prove it. I don't react well to being one-upped by another woman.

Edited by triad
spelling and grammatical errors I made when I first wrote it
xpaperxcutx Established Member

xpaperxcutx

Posted
Posted

umm how about dumping your cheating boyfriend for someone better? And possibly get yourself tested? Why keep a lying and cheating bf? Just know that if they do end up together, he'll end up cheating on her in the long run.

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triad New Member

triad

Posted
  • Author
Posted

...how about dumping your cheating boyfriend...

 

Because I'm not tired of him yet. My problem right now is that my ego is injured and I want revenge. I've never been shared by a man that's doing a fat chick. Especially when that was always his excuse to do things with her.

 

I'm furious that I think he may have been doing her all along. That's the feeling I'm wrestling with. I'm a writer by trade and I have access to publications, mainstream media and my blogs are carried worldwide. I can destroy them both if I publish this. All our friends know all of us. If I publish this, it would destroy her significantly and frankly, that's what I want to do. I don't really care that much about him any more. My competitive streak is up.

 

I'm writing it here to spew a little venom out of me and vent. Thanks so much for your posting a response. I appreciate that.

xpaperxcutx Established Member

xpaperxcutx

Posted
Posted
...how about dumping your cheating boyfriend...

 

Because I'm not tired of him yet. My problem right now is that my ego is injured and I want revenge. I've never been shared by a man that's doing a fat chick. Especially when that was always his excuse to do things with her.

 

I'm furious that I think he may have been doing her all along. That's the feeling I'm wrestling with. I'm a writer by trade and I have access to publications, mainstream media and my blogs are carried worldwide. I can destroy them both if I publish this. All our friends know all of us. If I publish this, it would destroy her significantly and frankly, that's what I want to do. I don't really care that much about him any more. My competitive streak is up.

 

I'm writing it here to spew a little venom out of me and vent. Thanks so much for your posting a response. I appreciate that.

 

If you're really the vindictive kind, I suppose you could try turning the tables on him. You could always cheat on him, let him find out, and then dump him in the process.

 

As much as I appreciate writers and their ability to influence the mass through prose, I don't really see how writing and publishing about getting cheated on would help. But I suppose you could paint his betrayal in a bad light, throwing in a few spewing adjectives about the other girl's flabs and whatnot.... yeah sounds like a great story. Go for it.

 

Hope you feel better.

jnj express Established Member

jnj express

Posted
Posted

Are you sure that you are in a polyamory situation---I thought some of the partners had to be married----sounds more like the situation is that you have one guy dating 2 chicks.

 

If you don't like the situation leave----its just that simple----or tell him if he doesn't go back to exclusivity with you----you will leave

Shakz Established Member

Shakz

Posted
Posted

Or you could just go over and kick her flabby, cellulitic, hanging ass!

TaraMaiden Established Member

TaraMaiden

Posted
Posted
My boyfriend dates two women ....

 

All the while we have dated, he's always claimed to have a platonic friendship with his cellulitic friend because her body is flaccid and it has always turned him off.

 

While he and I had dated exclusively, every time we scheduled a date, dinner or a vacation, she would always ask him to take her out to dinner or do something with her that made us change our dates for our vacations, events, etc. And since she was the sad, cellulite-ridden-spinster he asked me to feel sorry for, I always gave in.

 

Now he tells me that she's become "interesting" and that in spite of her hanging cellulitic ass that he always said made him want to vomit - he's screwing us both. She wants me to walk away and just disappear and leave her free to date him. I just don't feel like it. I think now I'm doing him out of spite. Now I've begun to wonder if he wasn't screwing her all the while I thought he and I were exclusive. His friends refer to her as "his moped."

 

What infuriates me is that he told me he didn't have sex with her all these years because he hated her body. Now he has no problem screwing her cellulitic droopy ass even though she's as flaccid and flabby as ever. I've also begun to suspect that he may have spoken horribly about me to her as well.

 

What the three of us have, is called a polyamory triad but she doesn't realize it. I wonder how her family would react to know that she has accepted having sex with a man that discarded her for 30 years while he is actively making love to another woman. He and I recognize our situation as a polyamory triad and that's what we call it. She thinks I'm going to melt away somehow and disappear. I'm really furious at him over this.

 

I'm calming myself down by merely posting this here but if I don't get some satisfaction soon, I'm worried that my anger over this may make me want to go and write a book about the entire incident complete with names and photographs.

 

None of it would qualify as slander or libel since it is all factually true and I can prove it. I don't react well to being one-upped by another woman.

 

First of all, this is NOT a polyamorous relationship.

No, it isn't.

That would entail all members being complaint and content with it.

She clearly isn't, and neither are you.

 

your post drips with vitriol and animosity, and incredulity that your obviously somewhat more perfect body is not enough for tiger-draws, over there, and he's getting some from a person you consider to be a large and over-fed parasite.

Secondly, for it to be Polyamorous, you would have all freedom to find more partners for yourself, and so would she. He too, could go for a tripple whammy.

Again, all concerned would have to be happy, relaxed and content about the whole arramngement.

 

Clearly, you're not.

 

 

The bottom line is therefore this:

he carries on phukking the both of you, and you suck up that your BF has two women on the go.

 

or - you clear off.

 

 

That's it, pure and simple.

All this vindictive nonsense about photos and literature, is just to humiliate, but has no other value.

So she's big.

so what?

So was Barry White, Mamma Cass, Fatty Arbuckle and Henry VIII.

They had no problems getting sex.

Why should she?

Engadget Established Member

Engadget

Posted
Posted

Someone doesn't understand the word platonic.

Shakz Established Member

Shakz

Posted
Posted
Someone doesn't understand the word platonic.

 

I think she's trying to say that he claimed the relationship was platonic but she has since discovered that it is no longer or perhaps never was chaste. I know it's hard to get that from the way it's written, but it wouldn't make sense any other way.

TaraMaiden Established Member

TaraMaiden

Posted
Posted

True.

 

And where I said 'Complaint' I meant Compliant! Spell-check never picked it up as a misspelling, because both words are right.

I just wanted to make sense of that.......

callalilly Member

callalilly

Posted
Posted

if you publish this, you're the one who will look bad. Your mean attitude of entitlement just because of your looks is gonna have everyone rooting for the fat girl.

TaraMaiden Established Member

TaraMaiden

Posted
Posted

And that remark was also really a bit prejudiced, wasn't it?

 

"The 'fat' girl"...? :confused:

 

Wouldn't 'her' have been enough? :rolleyes:

anne1707 Established Member

anne1707

Posted
Posted
if you publish this, you're the one who will look bad. Your mean attitude of entitlement just because of your looks is gonna have everyone rooting for the fat girl.

 

 

The OP is not a girl - she is a mature woman in terms of age based on another post made elsewhere which implies she is a similar age to her boyfriend who is 62 and that the other woman in this triangle is also around that age. Unfortunately the name calling in the posts does not suggest maturity in all aspects.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=2837666#post2837666

ADF Established Member

ADF

Posted
Posted

There's a few possibilities here:

 

1) Unlike you, maybe your BF is able to value people for something beyond what they look like. Imagine that!

 

2) Maybe she's better in bed than you are.

 

3) Many men who engage in what you choose to call "polyamory" (Ha! Sound more like serial cheating to me) are driven more by ego gratification than sexual gratification. They don't even care what they women look like or how good the sex is. It's just about bedding as many women as possible to boost their egos.

 

In any case, the fact you allow yourself to be two-timed by this lying, cheating BF of yours, yet heap derision on this woman because she happnes to be overweight, is just ugly. Maybe if you weren't such an awful person, you'd be worthy of a better man. But you'renot.

Shakz Established Member

Shakz

Posted
Posted

Slam,ADF! Whew! Scathing. I got the same impression. The OW is probably a very nice, supple, sexy woman, and the poster is probably a bitter bony hag.

Citizen Erased Established Member

Citizen Erased

Posted
Posted

Can you get her to come and re-post your OP? I'm sure she'd do a better job at that too.

LucreziaBorgia Established Member

LucreziaBorgia

Posted
Posted
I'm worried that my anger over this may make me want to go and write a book about the entire incident complete with names and photographs.

 

That would do nothing but backfire on you big time. She'd get all the sympathy, and you'd get the brunt of the hatred. It would not work like you want it to. Even on this thread, you aren't going to get much sympathy by being hostile toward someone who has what you want, particularly when you are phrase things the way you do.

 

As for the flabby, flaccid, fat, cellulitic woman... well, what is it they like to say around here? Oh yes.... 'you can't help who you fall in love with.' :lmao: Sorry, couldn't resist. You usually don't hear it in the context of this situation, where the 'taken guy' is clearly and firmly attached to his 'primary partner' rather than his OW.

 

He loves her. Hate to be so blunt about it, but it sounds like she has 99% of him already, and you have the rest that just wants sex with someone with a nice body. He may have picked up on your hostility and is squeezing you out because you are clearly hostile toward someone he loves.

 

What to do? Why not just find someone who wants you for more than just to fill a small need? Why not find a man who wants to be with you as much as this guy wants to be with his long term partner?

janie423 Established Member

janie423

Posted
Posted

 

My problem right now is that my ego is injured and I want revenge. I've never been shared by a man that's doing a fat chick. Especially when that was always his excuse to do things with her.

 

 

Something I learned a long time ago:

 

Every women is a threat.

 

Old, fat, stupid, homely, whatever. There is no accounting for taste.

 

Think about how you will handle your justified anger without harming yourself. I think you feel like you have been defrauded. I would dump him immediately, but that's just me.

Toki Established Member

Toki

Posted
Posted

Goddamn- by the time I'm 62 the only love triangle I hope I'm in, is whether I should travel across the country in my RV, or spend some time at my Lakeside Cabin...

paddington bear Established Member

paddington bear

Posted
Posted

Oh come on, she's pissed off, and rightly so. The issue here is not that she's been merely cheated on it's that

 

a) so-called cellulite woman has obviously been hanging on in the background there for years waiting for her chance to get her man and even with him dating someone else, she has not stepped back and accepted that it was not going to happen, and that policy has worked.

 

b) her boyfriend has continually lied to her and told her that it was just a platonic relationship and how much he hated this woman's body. In retrospect it was probably 'methinks the lady doth protest too much'. I've now realiesed that when a guy spends much of his time complaining about or commenting on a female friend or ex that this she is on his mind. It doesn't matter if what he says is unflattering, it's that she takes up so much of his thoughts, good and bad.

 

c) she wants to do back to this woman what has been done to her. Simply ignore the situation and hold on in there until she gets what she wants - him to stop shagging the other woman and come back to her.

 

I can understand the utter bitterness and want for revenge, but...OP you are biting your nose off to spite your face, staying with someone purely to scupper the plans of this other woman, while you are obviously hurt and angry. It is not really treating yourself well is it?

 

You've been lied to and you are right now currently being cheated on. Someone with respect for themselves would just leave.

 

How about instead realise that this relationship as it stands right now is unhealthy for you, and if you still don't want to actually give up on it yet, just start dating other men. Tell your boyfriend about it. Tell him that until he makes up his mind that you aren't going to focus all your attention and monogomy on him, that perhaps there is another man out there who won't lie and sleep with someone he claimed he found physically repulsive. And maybe you will find that man or maybe your guy will realise that you are not a complete doormat - you are acting like a doormat with no self-respect now, you might see it as taking a stand, not giving in, not letting her win by not bailing, but in his eyes he has his cake and eat it. He can do whatever he damn well likes and you will still be there. You certainly won't meet the kind of man you need by hanging on in there being angry and full of vitriol. Just leave him and her at it, (perhaps buy a jar of cellulite cream for her as a parting gift).

txsilkysmoothe Established Member

txsilkysmoothe

Posted
Posted

I don't understand why you're not directing your anger at your BOYFRIEND.

 

It's highly likely that he has genuine feelings for this woman. You don't remain involved with someone for 30 years if you don't. I think it's a safe bet that they have been sexually involved in the past as well. I think these are the things that really bother you.

candymoon Established Member

candymoon

Posted
Posted
I don't understand why you're not directing your anger at your BOYFRIEND.

 

It's highly likely that he has genuine feelings for this woman. You don't remain involved with someone for 30 years if you don't..

 

Bingo.

 

Totally the reason I thought she was more in her 20s than 60ish! All that sniping at the OW--She should be blaming him for leading her on and not the OW. One could even think that if "cellulite" and her man have been sleeping together off and on for THIRTY years then perhapsthe OP is, in fact, the OW. :sick:

 

And OP, this is not polyamory. In polyamory the goal is to have a harmonious house between all parties (ie, you + him, him + her, and you + her) all loving each other equally. This is just a guy having his cake.

Yandere New Member

Yandere

Posted
Posted (edited)

.. this has to be one of the most stupid yet simple posts ive ever read...... LEAVE HIM why bother getting revenge on someone who really doesnt seem to care less about you. :rolleyes:

 

You comment on how her family would react to her being with someone who didn't wana be with her for 30 years... stop and think about how your family and other people are thinking about you being with this oddball.

 

Just leave him and treat yourself with some dignity.

Edited by Yandere
Jilly Bean Established Member

Jilly Bean

Posted
Posted
While he and I had dated exclusively, every time we scheduled a date, dinner or a vacation, she would always ask him to take her out to dinner or do something with her that made us change our dates for our vacations, events, etc. And since she was the sad, cellulite-ridden-spinster he asked me to feel sorry for, I always gave in.

 

Sounds like she was always the primary relationship, and you were the sidedish.

 

She clearly has always had a pretty potent hold on him, to the extent that you were always left out in the cold whenever she wanted to see him.

 

Doesn't that resonate to you?

 

He's been lying to you all this time, hon. This other gal was his GF, and you were the minor player on the side.

 

Dump him, and let them be together without your interference.

Woman In Blue Established Member

Woman In Blue

Posted
Posted
He and I recognize our situation as a polyamory triad and that's what we call it.

ROFL. I see it as your boyfriend acting like the true pig he is. Screwing anything and anyone who'll have him - including a gal who, in your opinion, is one step away from looking like Linda Blair in the Exorcist. Fancy name of "Polyamory Triad" you two gave it, though. The Russian judge awards you an 8 for your creative effort.

 

Your boyfriend's a creep. He's the type of male pig I wouldn't do for practice.

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