riker Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 (edited) Hello new user looking for some advice. I was with my ex gf for 2.5 years and she left me a month ago because she felt that I cant commit to her 100% stemming from awhile ago when she wanted to move in together and I wasn't ready. We have had breaks because if arguments but we would work things out. I know over time she has become more frustrated with me and has had more of a shorter temper because she hasn't seen much advancement in our relationship. I have realized my issues with procrastinating about moving and not expressing more what I want in a future together and communicating better. She is very honest and does not sugar coat things and says their is nothing wrong with me other then my inability to fully commit to her and that's all she wanted. She left me about a month ago and after a week I sent her a letter about how I understand what I did and what was wrong in the relationship. I tried calling her after that letter to talk to her but I couldn't really get a word in with her saying "why are you calling me. Don't call me. If you want any sympathy from me ever then leave me alone. If you have anything to say send a letter." and I said ok and goodbye. So I sent her a letter a week later stating what I wanted with her in a relationship that I was really here for her and want the commitment and want to have a life together with her. And how I see a future together with her. That's always all she wanted in our relationship and I didn't show it enough. Now Im just in the mindset the balls in her court and I have pretty much told her what I wanted. And hope she calls sometime. It's been 2 weeks since the last letter and It's hard because I want to tell her that im here for her and will always be there and that I want her and to go through life with her ect. Should I try to contact her after some more time has passed for dust to settle. Or just wait and hope she contacts me? I was going to send her a card on her birthday in a couple weeks to wish her a happy birthday and would like to talk to her sometime. I will work on my communication problems and told her I will seek help to improve myself more to be a better bf. I love her with all my heart and want to fix things. Any thoughts? Edited June 12, 2010 by riker
ma2b Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 Sounds like you've done all you can. Send her a card for her Birthday. If she still does not contact you maybe she does not want to get back into the relationship as she may be scared of your commitment problem again.
S.Tee Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 Hi there, It had been a month after the break-up & still no improvements. It maybe she is breaking up for good or she needs more time or she is still hoping you giving more effort or maybe you had not pursue her hard enough. Receiving birthday cards or receiving your calls might not be what she is expecting. Maybe she needs you to convince her you have changed for the better, you had sacrified a lot because of her and how important she is to you. Females at times play hard to get & you need to handle it the right way. Memories of the long years relationship cannot be just be deleted completely within a month. Find ways to remind her of the sweet times both you went through together. Most importantly she must feel that she also cannot live withot you in long term. Good luck
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