That_girl Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 So it has been about 6 months since the ex dumped me....and blamed everything on me. It was a bad break-up...he told me he never wanted to see me again. So I respected his wishes and never contacted him again after that, and I mean never (no texts, emails or anything). I was usually the partner that would try to smooth everything over after a fight. We were together 4 years. 6 months later, he sends an email, which totally sent me back to square one. I was feeling so great, finally accepting that he was gone for good and then I get an email out of nowhere! He tells me that he misses me everyday, thinks about me all the time, I'm the best thing he's ever had etc. Doesn't say he wants to get back together though. Not that I could after all that's happened. It feels nice to know that he doesn't hate me....because I blamed myself for months for everything (when I shouldn't have). But I feel ANGRY after reading it. I'm so pissed off.....if he realizes that I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him, why doesn't he want me in his life? I realize that he just wants an ego boost/ probably feels guilty for dumping me over voicemail/ and probably has realized that the grass is definitely not greener on the other side. (I have been lurking on these forums for a while...I have done my research). So I'm thinking that although I miss him too, and don't actually hate his guts...I shouldn't dignify this with a response. I don't think I could ever take him back anyway even if he were begging. After someone leaves you, you don't exactly want to jump right into trusting them again. The thing is...I do miss him too, I feel exactly the same way as he describes his own feelings in that email. I think about him everyday, even at 6 months later. But I think that the email was F*CKING SELFISH! Basically....I'm going to follow the advice given to many others by the Loveshackers before me....and I'm not going to respond AT ALL. I know that he is not the type of person that is trying to intentionally hurt me by sending it, but I have absolutely nothing to say to this email, and moreover I'm not giving him that ego boost that he so desperately needs. I went back and begged and pleaded wayyyyyy too many times in the past while we were still together because I loved him dearly. (First love) But I have to say that I'm tired of it. I hope you're all proud, and that you can find peace with yourselves eventually. Nobody realizes how truly difficult a breakup is until you go through it yourself. I've never felt so strong. Congrats to everyone who has maintained No Contact.
D-Lish Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 Congrats to you- walking away must have been the hardest thing you've had to do! And his e-mail was selfish. Did he apologize for blaming the entire break up on you? Did he admit any of his own faults in that e-mail?
What_Next Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 You are a strong person, you have learned how to empower yourself. I for one am very proud of you. Good luck! When I read posts like this it gives me hope that I will make it through what I am going through. In fact I know I will. Take care!
Author That_girl Posted June 12, 2010 Author Posted June 12, 2010 Thanks for your replies. I'd like to think that I am finally beginning to wise up and regain some self-esteem, so that last comment made me smile And no D-Lish, he didn't apologize AT ALL. That's actually the most infuriating part of that e-mail, lovely as it was. He left me because I was going through a really stressful period in my life. (I do admit that I'm not the easiest person to get along with when I'm stressed....but who is?!) Anyway, he couldn't deal with it so he picked fights with me every day in an attempt to get me to leave him. STUPIDLY I didn't. And I think at that point he totally lost respect for me. Hopefully now my silence will show him that I'm stronger than he ever imagined.
ADF Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 The way to handle it is to always keep in mind that when male exs contact female exs, 9 times out of 10 they're just fishing for sex. All the rest is BS.
Author That_girl Posted June 12, 2010 Author Posted June 12, 2010 f*ck that! If that's the case, then that's really stupid. I would think he knows I would be the last person that would want to sleep with him at this point.
Ilovecake Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 First of all I would like to wholeheartedly congratulate you on your strength and will power. You should be extremely proud of yourself for how far you have gotten in six months. I'm sure you're having a hard time after the sudden contact but at the same time it must feel good to know that he is regretting his stupid, selfish decision and now is the one on the wrong end of the stick knowing he can't have what he wants. Stay strong, this person is no longer the man you knew. If you did go back things would not be the same. I imagine it would be very difficult to forget all those horrible words he said. I now cherish all the terrible things my ex said and did to me because it kept me away from him, much like you said. Keep smart and empowered and you will find a lot of happiness in your life. Thanks for posting your story, it was really nice to read and I hope people here will take a lot from it.
DenverBachelor Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 (ring ring ring ...) Me: Hello? Her: Hey it's <insert Ex's name> Me: Who? Her: <Ex's name> !!! Me: I don't know a <Ex's name>. Her: Huh?! Me: I mean, I had a reoccurring nightmare for two years straight about a woman with that name but I don't know any <ex's name> in real life. Her: F*** you! Me: Depends, are you free tonight? Her: <CLICK>
XKatieX Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 (ring ring ring ...) Me: Hello? Her: Hey it's <insert Ex's name> Me: Who? Her: <Ex's name> !!! Me: I don't know a <Ex's name>. Her: Huh?! Me: I mean, I had a reoccurring nightmare for two years straight about a woman with that name but I don't know any <ex's name> in real life. Her: F*** you! Me: Depends, are you free tonight? Her: <CLICK> Lmfao. Was that recently?
r6060 Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 TG, You could send him this. Subject: Mail Delivery Subsystem failure Delivery to the recipient failed permanently. Technical details of permanent failure: The email account that you tried to reach does not exist. Please try double-checking the recipient's email address for typos or unnecessary spaces.
Author That_girl Posted June 23, 2010 Author Posted June 23, 2010 TG, You could send him this. Subject: Mail Delivery Subsystem failure Delivery to the recipient failed permanently. Technical details of permanent failure: The email account that you tried to reach does not exist. Please try double-checking the recipient's email address for typos or unnecessary spaces. I like this a lot! HAHA That's cruel, but very funny.
Nikki Sahagin Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Following my advice on your other thread, I want to say...disreguard that. Trust your instincts. If he wants you...he will do more than text.
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