Boggy Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 Hi all, a confession I need to get off my chest. I met a woman on-line about 3 years ago through a support website for a serious illness that we've both suffered from. We are both in our 40s and married with children. I supported her in the early weeks of her recovery for which she was very grateful. We got on well from the start and began chatting on-line (with others) engaging in light-hearted banter and humour. About a year ago, we met in the company of others and it was quite an emotional meeting for both of us, as we'd developed a strong bond. We've not met since, but for the last year, we have been chatting on-line and occasionally on the phone. Never was there a suggestion of anything other than friendship until a few weeks ago. Our on-line chats started getting flirty and eventually she asked me if I would like to make love to her. Well, I can't say I hadn't thought about it, because I found her sexually attractive, but I was happy for us to be just friends until the bombshell! I answered her in the affirmative and things have now moved on to a full blown cyber affair. We text each other every day and talk on the phone a couple of times a week. A strong emotional bond has been formed. I know I should feel guilty, but I don't. My marriage is not made in heaven and this woman has made me feel special... wanted. Something I haven't felt for a long while. I do love my wife and family and I know that if this carries on I could put that in danger. I know that I am cheating, but I can't stop thinking about this woman. I'm trying to sort out my marriage and I know this is not helping at all. The phrase "have your cake and eat it" springs to mind. I don't know what to do.
utterer of lies Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 I know I should feel guilty, but I don't. My marriage is not made in heaven and this woman has made me feel special... wanted. Something I haven't felt for a long while. I do love my wife and family and I know that if this carries on I could put that in danger. I know that I am cheating, but I can't stop thinking about this woman. I'm trying to sort out my marriage and I know this is not helping at all. The phrase "have your cake and eat it" springs to mind. I don't know what to do. What's more important to you? Your marriage or living out the affair fantasy? Only you can decide this. Once you made that decision, everything else is clear.
whichwayisup Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 You may "know" this woman 'online' but you don't know her in real life. Things are perfect, she's perfect, since calls and chats online have been it, it leaves the imagination to fill in the gaps, more fantasy like. Ask yourself this. Is throwing away your marriage, the history you have with your wife, and turning her and the kids lives upside down worth doing this? As for the online woman, SHE KNOWS you're married, yes? It's totally inappropriate of her to (as well as you) to cross the lines. An offer of wanting to make love, all the meanwhile she KNOWS you have a wife and children at home. She isn't thinking, nor does she care about them.. Question is, do YOU? Do you care about your wife? Your family unit? Fix your marriage, focus that energy into your wife and tell the OW that you need to let go of her, end the friendship. It's unhealthy for your marriage and it's a selfish 'friendship'.
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