Aedra Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 (edited) Got into a relationship with a guy I've known for well over a year in an online game. He's a sweet, nice guy. He lives in America while I live on the other side of the world in a practically opposite time zone. Sometimes we can manage by staying up late, and says he's willing to put in the effort, staying up extra late on weekends, chatting on Skype with me whenever he can. He's a really caring guy and really likeable, but there is another girl that is interested in him and we're all in the same guild in the game (or clan, whatever you want to call it) so we socialize and do stuff in the game together. It's kind of hard to just ignore her because alot of people like her in this guild. Things became awkward when this girl found out I was now his girlfriend, and she began to hold a deep grudge against me, even leaving the guild briefly. She came back, but would always avoid me whenever she could. She is really flirty and has alot of guys that like her, but my boyfriend I know is the one she adores the most. She even went as far as trying to convince him not to be with me, since I live so far away and have a reputation as a heartbreaker (Long story short, I had a brief fling with another popular guy in the guild, but cut it off because it didn't feel right; he was so fake and an emotional mess and I was depressed from other issues. Some people who were friends with him naturally became wary.) My bf won't be mean to this girl, just firmly tell her to keep her distance, but to be honest I'm having trust issues. I've even talk to him about it, but he tells me not to worry, that she is just jealous and spiteful, he just wants to remain friends with her and get along with everyone, which of course is fair enough. I was reassured, but I still feel a little threatened by her. I don't entirely trust her, and trying to refrain from starting drama. It's really friggin' hard though, but I don't want to seem insecure and petty. However I keep struggling to contain that anger and I guess insecurity about her. She always posts comments about whatever he's talking That didn't worry me as much as the fact he told me recently he's worried about how long it'll take for us to finally see each other (at least a year.) I'm more then willing to go down once I save some money up to see him, but he seems worried he won't be able to see me within that time frame due to his schooling. Now I'm worried he's having doubts about our relationship or something, should I go mention this to him or does this make me look too insecure? I wouldn't put myself through all this hassle if I didn't feel this guy was worth it. I have never felt the same way about anyone and just want to know how to best handle all this. All I know is my feelings for this guy are genuine. I feel like the worry will make me snap and do something I'll regret, like ruin things with my guild. Anyway thanks for any advice. Edited June 11, 2010 by Aedra
madjac74 Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 I just dont buy the whole falling in love online crap. I met my GF on an online dating site and she seemed awesome and I loved her emails and texts. But it wasnt until I actually met her on a "real" date and spent time with her that I completely fell for her. I've had plenty of online flirts and its just fantasy like your game. I know online romance happens but at least meet him before you go overboard and ruin your video game club.
StarrySkyBlue Posted June 13, 2010 Posted June 13, 2010 I agree that you should meet in person before deciding on anything serious. Is there any chance you could meet, even for a little while, in real life? A year of waiting doesn't seem very promising. My advice is to try not to show your insecurity. Long-distance is already hard in itself. Don't let the girl know she is bothering you. Trust is very important in LDRs, and unnecessary drama is usually what destroys all the "It's worth it!" aspect of it.
impz Posted June 14, 2010 Posted June 14, 2010 I just dont buy the whole falling in love online crap. I met my GF on an online dating site and she seemed awesome and I loved her emails and texts. But it wasnt until I actually met her on a "real" date and spent time with her that I completely fell for her. I've had plenty of online flirts and its just fantasy like your game. I know online romance happens but at least meet him before you go overboard and ruin your video game club. I have to agree. I am with the same situation with OP, and it is expensive to travel across the entire globe and beyond (was still a poor student, now an employed policy analyst :>) to her. That said, when we met after deciding to push on with the online dating into real life, it really affirmed our feelings. I will say that you two should immediately set a date to visit one other before even bothering to invest your feelings into this properly. I won't say stop your relationship because there are feelings involved, even in an online setting. I will say that you still need to affirm your true feelings by seeing each other in the flesh. That worked wonders for me, and my wife (yes, she became my wife! I should write a story to inspire others :lmao:) is finally flying over to me. ^^
Author Aedra Posted August 7, 2010 Author Posted August 7, 2010 (edited) I know its been a while since I posted. Anyway... it didn't work out. He ended up getting with that other girl straight away after he broke up with me, felt he couldn't wait so long. My instinct told me something wasn't right when he spent so much time talking to her, and I felt like our communication was lessening. So I confronted him asking whether he wanted to end it. Ultimately he did. He ended up sending me an email though some time later, trying to properly explain things. Was an emotional mess for a while. That was fun. I still feel like I lost someone special for a while but I have never met him I real life so I'm getting over it, he doesn't deserve me. I'm still kind of bitter and I don't think I'm going to bother getting into a deep relationship for a while. It seems whenever I do, it goes down the gutter. My advice from my own experience is to end the relationship unless you have the means to see each other in real life within a reasonable amount of time otherwise you're wasting your time. To LisaLee, I was in the relationship with him for about a month, despite knowing each other for a year. Edited August 7, 2010 by Aedra
jackfergusion Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 Generally this kind of situations appears in the case of long distance relationships. If your boyfriend is telling that you should not worry for that girl than you should show him that you have enough trust on him so if he is thinking to cheat you than he will realise his mistake. If you react as normally than he will like you more than her because that girl seems jealousy and selfish and boys hate this type of girls.
Author Aedra Posted August 7, 2010 Author Posted August 7, 2010 Generally this kind of situations appears in the case of long distance relationships. If your boyfriend is telling that you should not worry for that girl than you should show him that you have enough trust on him so if he is thinking to cheat you than he will realise his mistake. If you react as normally than he will like you more than her because that girl seems jealousy and selfish and boys hate this type of girls. You are right abut that, I probably should not have worried as much, and I definitely should not have said spiteful things to the girl after we broke up. Probably make me look weak and immature and I didn't want that. I think I'm over it though, I feel I can still get someone alot better.
aerogurl87 Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 Sorry to hear it did not work out, Aedra. These MMO relationships are just very difficult to make it last. There are too many variables, namely the game, the guild, etc. There is always that one cyber hussy/manwhore who is trying to steal everyone's virtual boyfriend and girlfriend, and more often than not it seems they succeed. And you can probably find someone a lot better. Hopefully away from the game. I echo these words although my ex was the cyber manwhore. But yeah look for someone closer to you and outside the game. Games like WoW and Second Life can foster relationships as quick as they can destroy them.
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