Silly_Girl Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 Just curious whether anyone else has had this experience... I've just split with someone I love, and am finding it difficult. But what I've also found is that it has brought up my 2 main previous relationships (6yrs and 8yrs) and it's as though I'm facing those break-ups today, too. I've ascertained that I didn't deal with them properly at the time. The first because I rashly jumped straight in to the second, the second because it was awful and sometimes violent and I was just relieved to have escaped and be enjoying life again... I've decided to get some counselling, because I'm floundering. Just wondered if a break-up has caused anyone else to relive a previous split? If so, how did you manage the thoughts and grief/anxiety? Thanks for any feedback.
deux ex machina Posted June 12, 2010 Posted June 12, 2010 The breakup/r did call up a lot of ghosts from my past that I never fully dealt with or faced. On many different levels. I'm seeing a psychologist now. Mostly though, it's really helping myself. I do still feel fragile sometimes...but things are better now in some ways than they were before I got into the r. I guess this blessing comes with a scar. Perhaps the feelings you are experiencing from your current loss echo and ping those earlier losses on a visceral level, stirring it up from where it never really settled to begin with. So happy you are getting proper help. You know, when something is broken you want to try to get it to set properly - not maladaptively. You're not alone in this. Gentle hugs to you.
Author Silly_Girl Posted June 15, 2010 Author Posted June 15, 2010 Thank you very much. I feel it's important to get real help, and as painful as it is, have a good stoke of whatever's lurking and purge myself of it - if I can. I got married too young, thought I'd forgiven myself for that but hadn't, and then the list just goes on from there!! I hope things continue to improve for you.
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